I would have drawn enormous comfort from knowing elders with their eyes open were still inside back when I was still in, exjwsrock.
So do what you have to do. I admire you being so concerned about your wifes emotionally stability.
Time is a great equalizer. It can change events so much that we think differently because of nothing but the passing of time. Hopefully this will be so with your wife.
As for the errant sheep above, he probably doesnt want to get DFd because of someone he loves - maybe siblings. parents. friends or so on.
He may be just fine with losing the wife if she is so inclined though, especially if theirs was one of those teen marriages that are so common in the ORg.