Posts by MrDarkKnight

40

Telling a Depressed Person It's Demons!

by NewChapter in

jw
friends

when a person is depressed, their cognitive abilities are depleted.

they are processing reality through a very negative filter and need help getting balanced.

they often experience fear, guilt, hopelessness and anxiety.

MrDarkKnight

The lack of concern and understanding about depession among the JWs, especially the leadership, is sad. I suffer from bipolar depression. I have been seeing a psychiatrist and therapist for 8 years. I was out in field service with the CO who asked me about my depression and if I was taking medication. He then said, "its a good thing you have your fellow elders to talk to. Some of the friends waste money talking to therapists." This man had no clue I was one of those people "wasting money talking to therapists." His attitude was just another straw on the camels back.

I was removed as an elder after a bipolar episode nearly cost me my life. No one met with me or comforted me after the episode. But when the CO visit came they recommended my removal because I lacked "soundness of mind." I will never forget those words or the men that said them. One more straw on the camels back.

I later got an apology in writing from the Branch Office (yes they do apologize sometimes) for the manner in which I was removed, but by then it was too late. I was mentally done with the JWs. The camels back was broken.

46

Review and Comments on the New Elders Book

by MrDarkKnight in

i recently completed an exhaustive review of an unofficial copy of the new elders manual.

my father, who is currently serving as an elder told me a friend of his in the service department told him it was on the internet so i eagerly looked for it and found it.

yes, i know it was a violation of copyright, but while at bethel i made copies of many technical manuals which is also a copy of copyright so the wts hypocrisy does not concern me.. i was appointed as an elder the year the pay attention book (manual replaced by this one) was released so i have very good working knowledge of the old book and could compare the two books.

MrDarkKnight

Poopsie - The first thing I did when I quit was grow a beard. It freaks JWs that know me out because to them it suggests that I have lost my mind. The fact is I may have lost my mind, but I found my soul.

46

Review and Comments on the New Elders Book

by MrDarkKnight in

i recently completed an exhaustive review of an unofficial copy of the new elders manual.

my father, who is currently serving as an elder told me a friend of his in the service department told him it was on the internet so i eagerly looked for it and found it.

yes, i know it was a violation of copyright, but while at bethel i made copies of many technical manuals which is also a copy of copyright so the wts hypocrisy does not concern me.. i was appointed as an elder the year the pay attention book (manual replaced by this one) was released so i have very good working knowledge of the old book and could compare the two books.

MrDarkKnight

@Quendi - Part of me moving on with my life is coming to grips with the reality of what I have done, the people I have hurt, the lives I have ruined, taking personal responsibility for it and striving each day to be a better person. You are not piling on. I am paying a heavy emotional price for the prominence, priviliges, prestige and plaudits of mean I strove for and achieved and for a time enjoyed. You are in fact the lucky one, and yes you have been spared the sleepless nights that have plagued me.

@NC - The "confession of past sins rule" has allowed many a guilty elder to keep on serving. This one really hurts. We stuck it to the rank and file, but protected our own. Shameful and disgraceful. Now some of the same men I protected are trying to hunt me down and "meet" with me. However, when you know how the game is played they can't touch you. If they do anything outside that manual I will sue them each INDIVIDUALLY and they know it.

@daringhart13 - I feel your pain. I was considered by the rank and file one of the "loving elders" too. What dream world we allowed ourselves to be in.

@Botzwana - LOL!!! No pun was intended..

@mochamint22 - The mind is powerful. When you suspend reality and just believe, you reject the truth of a matter to maintain the illusion. Until a person is ready to accept reality and the consequences of their actions, they continue to suspend reality. This is the state many JWs are in right now. They are living a world of suspended reality because they are not ready to accept the unavoidable pain the accepeting the truth will bring. What they do not understand is that after you get through the pain...there is an unbelievable peace and tranquility...and genuine happiness.

@mickeymouse - Yeah, I was in disbelief when the various levels of pornography were explained to me. Still images are one degree, moving images another. If you masturbated it was another level. If it was heterosexuals it is one level; if is homosexual it is worse and so on...my question is, who watched all this stuff and categorized it? That must have been one "hard" assignment.

46

Review and Comments on the New Elders Book

by MrDarkKnight in

i recently completed an exhaustive review of an unofficial copy of the new elders manual.

my father, who is currently serving as an elder told me a friend of his in the service department told him it was on the internet so i eagerly looked for it and found it.

yes, i know it was a violation of copyright, but while at bethel i made copies of many technical manuals which is also a copy of copyright so the wts hypocrisy does not concern me.. i was appointed as an elder the year the pay attention book (manual replaced by this one) was released so i have very good working knowledge of the old book and could compare the two books.

MrDarkKnight

Chemical - I laughed when I read that too. You gotta hand it to them. They know a new term locks the sheep in every time. The more fear of punishment you can establish the easier it is to control people and enable people to "rat" their fellow members out in order to receive bonus points for being righteous. Now if you could convert bonus points for ratting people out to hours of FS that would really rock!

46

Review and Comments on the New Elders Book

by MrDarkKnight in

i recently completed an exhaustive review of an unofficial copy of the new elders manual.

my father, who is currently serving as an elder told me a friend of his in the service department told him it was on the internet so i eagerly looked for it and found it.

yes, i know it was a violation of copyright, but while at bethel i made copies of many technical manuals which is also a copy of copyright so the wts hypocrisy does not concern me.. i was appointed as an elder the year the pay attention book (manual replaced by this one) was released so i have very good working knowledge of the old book and could compare the two books.

MrDarkKnight

Shammus - LOL!!! I have to laugh to keep from crying.

46

How Being a Witness made you Lose out on Higher Education and Careers

by flipper in

jw
friends

hi, folks.

been thinking of this, because of having been raised in the witnesses.

i reflect back on opportunities i would have encountered and seized, had it not been for being controlled by the witness organization being told higher education was not needed.

MrDarkKnight

Bungi Bill - At age 45 I am finding that even though I have the knowledge necessary to engineer Security Systems, the lack of a college degree, even an two year Associates degree is a show stopper. Thankfully my current employer is willing to pay for me to get the necessary certifications to be an engineer, but if I want be in sales engineering/management, which is my goal, and Bachelors degree is mandatory and MBA is GOLDEN.

The best time to go to college is after high school. But now to meet my goals I will go back and get my degree(s). I am not one to wallow in self pity for too long and so I will move forward with my life, but I do wish the adults in my life had more sense than they did when I had a scholarship and teachers and guidance counselors BEGGING me to go to college.

I will not allow them to do this to my son. HE WILL GO TO COLLEGE come hell or high water!!!!!!

46

Review and Comments on the New Elders Book

by MrDarkKnight in

i recently completed an exhaustive review of an unofficial copy of the new elders manual.

my father, who is currently serving as an elder told me a friend of his in the service department told him it was on the internet so i eagerly looked for it and found it.

yes, i know it was a violation of copyright, but while at bethel i made copies of many technical manuals which is also a copy of copyright so the wts hypocrisy does not concern me.. i was appointed as an elder the year the pay attention book (manual replaced by this one) was released so i have very good working knowledge of the old book and could compare the two books.

MrDarkKnight

I recently completed an exhaustive review of an unofficial copy of the New Elders manual. My father, who is currently serving as an elder told me a friend of his in the Service Department told him it was on the internet so I eagerly looked for it and found it. Yes, I know it was a violation of copyright, but while at Bethel I made copies of MANY technical manuals which is also a copy of copyright so the WTS hypocrisy does not concern me.

I was appointed as an elder the year the Pay Attention book (manual replaced by this one) was released so I have very good working knowledge of the old book and could compare the two books. A few highlights:

1. The proliferation of phone sex, virtual sex, men going to strip clubs and receiving lap dances and "dry humping" finally led to a review of the word porneia which has led to it now including any sexaul activity involving one person, a second person or an animal, the genitals of at least one person or animal and LEWD intent. SKIN TO SKIN CONTACT is not necessary (lap dances, dry humping and hand jobs or foot jobs through clothing (yes I sat on cases involvig this) now justify divorce, many wives rejoicing on that one!)

2. The most explicit direction ever given in one place on the handling of child molestation issues. This section was very disturbing to me as it proved to me that the WTS knows it bears responsbility for the child molestation that occured over the years and wishes to avoid the bad press going forward. This section to me is an acknowledgement of the guilt but far from an apology. As a former elder I am sick.

3. Filing bankruptcy now calls an elder's qualifications into question. This is new.

4. Marital separation now requires an exhaustive review by the elders. Detailed steps provided. This is new.

5. The term "loose conduct" is expanded to include "brazen conduct" which can now include conduct beyond that which is sexual and can include things like active JWs POSTING ON THIS BOARD. Lurkers BEWARE. If you look once, its just curiosity. If you hang out here its now BRAZEN CONDUCT and is a disfellowshipping offense.

6. Gross uncleanness (pretty much anything of a sexual nature besides mastrubation) now a disfellowshipping charge. Masturbation is pretty much untouchable.

7. Unrepentantly taking a blood transfusion is now automatic disassociation. No judicial committee is required.

The thing that rocked me to my core as I read the manual was how much of it contains rules, regulations and procedures that are not directly from the Bible and only have validity if you believe that the WTBS is God's channel of comuunication. Speaking from experience, when you are an elder and you are sincere this book is the LAST WORD. Reading itg without the WT filter made me sick to my stomach. When I think of all the people I hurt....all I can say is I am sorry and that I am not involved in it anymore.

What are your thoughts?

98

Why Some Cannot "See" that the Bible is NOT the Word of God

by AGuest in

jw
friends

to the household of god, israel, and those who go with... may you all have peace.

some of you may have recently observed some discussions regarding what... or rather, who... the word of god is, truly.

in those and other threads, some participants weren't able to grasp the difference between discussion vs. contention... and defending their own faith... and love of god and christ... vs. ramming their [mis]assumptions as to the "vengeance of god"... down others' throats.

MrDarkKnight

AGuest - I read your posts with fascination. I have been troubled over the years with the teaching the Bible was the unaltered word of God. I just found that to be completely unbelievable. It just seems to me that God would at some point communicate to us in a way that would leave no doubt. In my 38 years as a JW I never really believed I was praying to anyone who really listened. I wanted to believe and I did not in fits and starts, but I have been a person that really relied on God as we were taught to do. The good and the bad that has happened in my life was a direct result of my decisions, not God. Now I am struggling with what do about my belief in God. What do you suggest?

Just so I am clear, How is he communicating with mankind today? How do I know that he is communicating with me?

46

How Being a Witness made you Lose out on Higher Education and Careers

by flipper in

jw
friends

hi, folks.

been thinking of this, because of having been raised in the witnesses.

i reflect back on opportunities i would have encountered and seized, had it not been for being controlled by the witness organization being told higher education was not needed.

MrDarkKnight

Think About It - All higher/university education is discouraged to the point that elders can be disqualified if they allow their children to go to college. Pioneering is the big push still now that Bethel has scaled back become somewhat irrelevant.

I passed up a scholarship to go to Bethel. I did learn a trade in high school and that helped me make decent wages for a long time. The sales skills I learned as a JW (the Service Meeting used to be a pretty good sales training seminar before everything got dumbed down) have helped me to make six figures a few years (I was a matrialistic JW and elder, the guilt was incredible).

However I did not realize until I went to college a couple of years ago how much I missed. First of all learning is fun. College was challenge. My mind had not been challenged that much in years. It hurt for about six months LOL!!! After my mind got the hang of it I wanted more. I had to stop but I am getting ready to go back and finish my degree and the pursue MBA because I love learning and despite what the JWs believe a college degree is a big deal if you want to be successful. Of course they don't want members to be successful or wealthy or educated.

I am on career path that suits my nature and contributes to a happy way of life.

42

Was there anything different about you that helped you escape the WT?

by Giordano in

for me i know it was because i was a reader.. i began reading books at the age of 13, this was in the 1950's.

because there were some serious family problems i had two escapes i could count on reading and associating with my friends at the kingdom hall.. as i devoured steinbeck, hemingway, wolf etc.

my world view expanded....it had to.

MrDarkKnight

It's funny how similar all of us are. Reading opens the mind, but in the end reading does not do any good if you don't have the will to act. Ultimately that is what drives action, the will. Whether you leave abruptly or take years to fade away the will to act is the key. The decision can not be emotional, that can lead to waffling back and forth based on how angry or frustrated or lonely or guilty we are on any given day. The decision must be based on reason, and the reason must suit OUR nature, not someone else's for ultimately we must live with our decisions.

It took it took me 10 years to DECIDE to leave. And some days the loneliness has been too much to bear. This forum recommended to me by Barbara Anderson, who I had the privilege of serving with at HQ has been a life saver. I will be speaking with her this weekend to thank her for introducing me to all of you.