@Quendi...When I decided to become inactive, my 12 year old Son said he was concerned that I would die at Armaggeddon. His statement stabbed me in the heart particularly because I WAS THE ONE WHO TAUGHT HIM THIS! As I sat there looking at him I could not help but ask myself the question, What is the difference between teaching that the wicked will die at Armaggeddon or that all wicked people go to hell?
Witnesses pride themselves in stating that a loving God would not torture people for all eternity, but have no probelm embracing a loving God who would terminate the lives of men, women and CHILDREN because they did not listen to Jehovah's Witnesses.
I do not wish to be separated from my son which is why I chose the abrupt fade and inactivity rather than disassociation. I moved to another state to make it more difficult to be reached. I am slowly working on his thinking, so that he will see what he is learning for what it is and I can save him from a life of misery.
With regard to the judicial process I realized today that as an elder I put FAR more people OUT of the organization than I brought in. And you are right. People miss the community and their families and that is why they want back in.
However, many Witness families are VERY liberal and they associate with their disfellowshipped family members no matter what the organization says. You find this particuarly in matriarchal families where the women really have nothing to lose by ingoring this rule. In these families the DF'd ones MAKE NO ATTEMPT to return. Why? They HAVE NO REASON to return as they have NOT LOST what matters to them, their families. My ex-wife's family was this way. Her father was DF's for 26 years. When my ex-wife's family got stricter with him, her father did the routine and was reinstated even though he never stopped smoking or overdrinking. It was an honorary reintstatement. He died not too long after his "reinstatement."
The whole judicial arrangement is unscriptural, unloving and inhumane. I am sure many Witnesses have ended up in therapy due this "tough love" as they call it.