Fading into oblivion may not happen. Access to a Flock Book = Apostate Contact to them. So you are now on radar their guns aimed at you to remove the wicked one.
discreetslave
JoinedPosts by discreetslave
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84
Another MUSIC thread - One-Hit Wonders
by sizemik inthere's been plenty over the last five decades .
artists that have come and gone .
and left a single musical legacy behind them.. but a lot of them were great songs .
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discreetslave
I remember dancing to this at a Bethel party on the Bossert Roof
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In Unusual Move, Brokerage To Handle Sale of Watchtower Buildings
by blondie inhttp://www.brooklyneagle.com/categories/category.php?category_id=5&id=45181.
3 brooklyn heights properties have combined estimated value of $18.45m.
by linda collins.
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discreetslave
There was a mother in the south who didn't have the money to pay for her child's bloodless surgery since her state medicaid wouldn't cover it.
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/video/johovahs-witness-seeks-bloodless-surgery-11681184
Give them the money
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In Unusual Move, Brokerage To Handle Sale of Watchtower Buildings
by blondie inhttp://www.brooklyneagle.com/categories/category.php?category_id=5&id=45181.
3 brooklyn heights properties have combined estimated value of $18.45m.
by linda collins.
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discreetslave
On Watchtowerdocuments.com Barbara states they used Cohi Towers Associates, an organization formed by a number of wealthy Jehovah’s Witnesses to purchase buildings for the Watchtower’s use in the early 1980's.
So it's not the first time they use others to handle their real estate.
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Caught Crying
by discreetslave ini was reading some ex-jw experiences and i started crying.
a flood of emotions came over me, anger, guilt, sorrow, grief, and fear.. anger over being deceived and betrayed.anger over the stupidity regarding child abuse.
i was abused before being a jw and this is an issue i feel strongly about.. guilt for bringing others into jw matrix.
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discreetslave
Thanks guys!!! I value your insights.
I would be worried if I didn't cry over all this. Crying is cathartic & therapeutic. It's a part of the grieving & moving on process. The websites & forums are new to me like anything new, one obsesses a while then it finds it's place. I liken it to support meetings. I'm social.
My life revolved around JW's. I was the one people came to to discuss their problems. Some people called me everyday. I'd hang up the phone in a while someone else was calling or someone showed up at my door. The friends in service stopped by regularly to have a drink, use the bathroom, talk, etc. My door was always open. I had a group of older ones I visited or called regularly. I'd take care of or tutor their kids, fixed their computers, helped them clean, help with hospitality, planned field trips, do their taxes, help with talks or demos, looked up stuff on the internet for them, helped plan vacations, and the list goes on. My leaving was not easy for me. I love being there for people. I'll admit my things suffered at times. And I'll admit it hurt when the depression overwhelmed me and no one noticed. I didn't do those things expecting anything in return but I could not help but notice when I needed someone no one was there for me. Yet when I'd bounce back I went on caring for everyone else that is my nature. I'd like to think the friends find themselves missing me now that I'm not around to do what I did for them. Though I plan on driving my daughter to make the rounds to the elderly ones so that they'll see me in the car & know I still care.
I reminded my husband what my days were like. Now I'm dead to them. He said that was my choice it didn't have to be this way. I said it did there was no other way. I could not continue being a JW knowing what I did. There was no turning back. I considered staying in for a while but it's against my grain to lead a double life. Staying a JW was not an option especially after the shepherding calls. The ignorance & arrogance was maddening.
So I feel forums and the websites are just a stepping stone. And I feel my decision regarding a career will involve something JW related. I've always felt I'd be a good psychologist and I've always wanted to write. I hope my experiences as a JW will be of benefit to someone in those pursuits. I believe in paying it forward. I'm looking ahead and planning on broadening my horizons. I've started researching colleges and financial aid. I'm looking to find ways to meet new people. I've reached out to my neighbors and people I've crossed paths with. Making friends has never been a problem for me.
Most of all I plan on keeping my family together even if my husband never escapes. I am determined that my children will learn to chase their dreams and never be a JW.
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Caught Crying
by discreetslave ini was reading some ex-jw experiences and i started crying.
a flood of emotions came over me, anger, guilt, sorrow, grief, and fear.. anger over being deceived and betrayed.anger over the stupidity regarding child abuse.
i was abused before being a jw and this is an issue i feel strongly about.. guilt for bringing others into jw matrix.
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discreetslave
These songs come to mind reflecting on all this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6tV11acSRk&feature=related
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i think i might return to the WTS
by dm6 inman im so drained right now and tired i cant say a whole lot.. but you know, i was thinking about going back to them and just to see a bit more about it all.. i dont know to be very honest with you if its thr right thing to do or not on a personal level.. .
i guess i need to mull things over.. .
any suggestions from previous jw's would be awesome for me.
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discreetslave
THINK VERY CAREFULLY ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE CONSIDERING
I know what you're feeling wondering if they are right. You only studied for a year. I became one @ 17 I'm now 33 it takes work to get them out of your system. I'm new to this journey. This site is full of ones who gave years or their whole life to that religion. We know the what if's are hard to shake.
No one should tell you what to do. The JW's are all about telling you what to do. Some cong are different. The one I just left still lovebomb the studies on the fence in hopes they'll step in line and get dunked. Other cong. we will be civil to your face @ a meeting but that's it.
If you're thinking about going back because you have a spiritual need or want to be a christian then there are other ways. i think it's in our makeup whether or not we're believers. Maybe it's part of the evolutionary cycle. There are those who have no need or desire for spiritual things, there are those of us who do, some are on the fence. You have to pick what's right for you. Atheist, Christian, Buddhist, etc.. The point is for you to find your bliss.
Many feel being a JW is their bliss I thought so. Then I realized my recent unhappines, depression, low self worth was due to their way of worship. To each his own. You're having issues emotionally worries me. The make up of this religion is not a good fit for your problems. The constant demands for an outward appearance feed the vicious cycle of low self worth & depression.
Please feel free to PM me if you need to talk
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Caught Crying
by discreetslave ini was reading some ex-jw experiences and i started crying.
a flood of emotions came over me, anger, guilt, sorrow, grief, and fear.. anger over being deceived and betrayed.anger over the stupidity regarding child abuse.
i was abused before being a jw and this is an issue i feel strongly about.. guilt for bringing others into jw matrix.
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discreetslave
Thanks Donny. Last night I was thinking about toning down ex-jw stuff. Just tuning in for laughs and when I needed to get JW crap off my chest.
The fight for us part was encouraging.
Thanks Hortensia.
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Creepiest Illustration of Eve and the Serpent
by Marvin Shilmer increepiest illustration of eve and the serpent .
today i uploaded a new short article showing what has to be the creepiest illustration ever by watchtower of the serpent talking to eve in eden.
my article is titled creepiest illustration of eve and the serpent and is available at: http://marvinshilmer.blogspot.com/2011/08/creepiest-illustration-of-eve-and.html.
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discreetslave
I thought it was a serpent not a kimodo dragon.
The angel reminds me of perverts who rub up on people on the subway.
Satan looks like the Joker from Batman.
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Caught Crying
by discreetslave ini was reading some ex-jw experiences and i started crying.
a flood of emotions came over me, anger, guilt, sorrow, grief, and fear.. anger over being deceived and betrayed.anger over the stupidity regarding child abuse.
i was abused before being a jw and this is an issue i feel strongly about.. guilt for bringing others into jw matrix.
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discreetslave
I was reading some ex-jw experiences and I started crying. A flood of emotions came over me, anger, guilt, sorrow, grief, and fear.
Anger over being deceived and betrayed.Anger over the stupidity regarding child abuse. I was abused before being a JW and this is an issue I feel strongly about.
Guilt for bringing others into JW Matrix. Sorrow for those still trapped my family, friends,& sincere ones.
Grief over the time I spent losing my identity. Grief over the loss of my hopes as a JW. I really believed it. My entire JW experience wasn't bad. I really thought I had the universe figured out and I knew what the future held. Before being a JW I wrote poems & essays about a world much like the JW paradise. That's why I took to JW's. They told me my dreams were going to come true. All this is gone so I grieved over it.
Fear of my husband leaving me. I love him so much. I'm crying as I write this line. He loves me but I thought is it enough. As I think of my future and possible careers I keep coming up with ideas that are anti-witness: JW child abuse advocacy, cult recovery, writing a JW/ EX JW self help blog or book, I met an ex-jw who wants to have some sort of JW halfway house for extreme cases I could help her. There is a local Christian outreach program they do excellent charity work,I think about helping them. All these things could cause his family & others to talk in his ear about spiritual endangerment. I fear him listening to them or on his own not being able to tolerate my choosing this path.
While I was crying my husband dropped in to pick up something he forgot. He held me & asked me to tell him what was wrong. I hesitated I told him it may upset him. He said he didn't care if it would upset him he was more concerned with my feeling better. So I told him I had read some experiences and I was saddened I felt the wounds of betrayal were reopened.
His reaction was mixed. He suggested cutting off my bad association with bitter & angry ex-JW's. He can't understand why apostates insist on dwelling on JW's and their faults. If we've left and have moved on we should leave them alone. So he sees being on this forum and the ex-jw sites to be the problem.
So I told him my sadness is more a result of grief for the reasons I listed above. I reminded him he accused me of being callous by seemingly moving on no care for my family or friends of the past 16 years. So here it should be obvious I'm not callous. Then i mentioned my fear of our love not being enough to keep us together. That insulted him. He asked if I thought he was stupid enough to let others opinions ruin what we have. In reply I said I'm not calling him stupid I was just wondering about a legitimate concern. I said as a JW loyalty to Jehovah & the organization come before me. So if my choices regarding a career or a cause are to apostate for him to tolerate he could choose the organization over me. I said my thoughts were more of the worse case scenario not that I believed he would do that. I asked him are my fears without merit? Is loyalty to God's organization not above all else?
He hugged me and said he's chosen to fight for us he hopes I'll do the same. He suggessted cutting out this forum and websites that bring up these feelings in me.
I don't want to cut it out completely I do want to exercise some self control these websites have been like crack. I find myself wanting to check in a lot. I figure it's just the newness of it all. I need variety this includes having ex-jw friends along with non affiliated ones. There are things I can say on these forums I can't with him or others they wouldn't get it.
All this threw my mojo off. Oh well " Tomorrow is another day." Maybe I need to feel like Neo again I'll watch the Matrix again & picture each GB as Agent Smith.