junebug_11

Joined

• started 1 topics
• posted 8 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by junebug_11

• 
  100

  Need Opinions -- Engaged to a JW!!

  by junebug_11 in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  ok, quick run down of my situation.. .

  1. i am not religious.

  my now-fiance was raised jw but left the religion about 10 years ago.. 2. we started dating last march, i got pregnant within two weeks.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  junebug_11

  @Moshe, wow, offensive, much?

  "So your boyfriend wanted to get married before the baby was born and you said "no". It's an immature and selfish thing you have done- giving this baby the label of "born out of wedlock", just so you could keep your options open. I'm beginning to feel sorry for the guy here."

  1) We got pregnant 2 weeks into our relationship, it's not like he proposed to me beforehand.

  2) Pardon me for not wanting a shotgun wedding, not wanting to get married just because we had a child, and not wanting to be a whale in my dress.

  3) How on earth am I "keeping my options open"?! I'm still with the guy, am I not? I am waiting because I didn't want to get married just because we have a child ^ and I do actually believe that marriage should be a "forever" thing.

  Apparently I am selfish for wanting to make sure I was making the right decision and that we would last in the long-term? Yeah, you're right, I totally should have just stomped on down to the courthouse before the pregnancy test was even dry.

  *eye roll* Seriously, what do you do IRL that makes you this condescending to people?
• 
  6

  when talking about intimacy ...

  by Dudu in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  what means (makes you fell better) most to you when it comes to intimacy: sleeping with someone or sex?

  i want opinions :).

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  junebug_11

  Sex, absolutely. It's not so much about the act itself but the connection you feel having sex with someone when there is mutual love and respect for each other.

  If you just sleep with each other (i.e. actual sleeping), then I find that the spark leaves and what you're left with is almost a roommate situation, bordering on platonic. Unfortuntately that's the situation I'm in right now, which sucks and I am miserable.
• 
  44

  Diane Sawyer interviews Jaycee Dugard 7/10/11, ABC 2-hr. Special, 9PM EST: Jaycee was kidnapped by Garridos, supposedly one-time JWs

  by AndersonsInfo in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  preview: http://abcnews.go.com/us/jaycee_dugard .

  diane interviews jaycee.

  chris como tracks the police investigation.. authorites called at garrido home 60 times and didn't find jaycee in back yard..

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  junebug_11

  OMG!! I mentioned that little fact with my JW in-laws tonight (just as a random point as we were discussing the interview) and holy hell did I get the stone-face and angry denial!

  I felt kind of bad for bringing it up afterwards, since I try not to rock their boat too much.
• 
  100

  Need Opinions -- Engaged to a JW!!

  by junebug_11 in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  ok, quick run down of my situation.. .

  1. i am not religious.

  my now-fiance was raised jw but left the religion about 10 years ago.. 2. we started dating last march, i got pregnant within two weeks.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  junebug_11

  Ok, so I have not left, I just kind of forgot that I posted here and about 2 hours ago I thought I should probably come check it, LOL.

  Again, thank you all for your replies.

  @Moshe - I really don't appreciate the tone you have. Yes, I made a mistake in my Pill-taking skills, unfortunately that one day that I missed was the one day some sperm managed to slip through there and knock me up. We made a mutual decision to keep the baby. I am pro-choice, but abortion was not the choice for me at that time, and I felt like I was mature enough and had the resources to be able to take care of the baby (not that that's any of your business). Our son has my fiance's last name, because he is his son. If it was up to my fiance, we would have been married over a year ago or even this summer; it's been MY choice that we hold off until next year. He was and is completely willing to take responsibility for his actions, including that of fathering a child out of wedlock. I am not a passive person, I am just very much on the fence as to what is the right choice for myself and my child. As I have stated, I love my fiance and he is a great man, but I am not sure if the religious pressures will be too much for our relationship. Only time will tell. I don't appreciate the condescending tone you take on in your responses to me, as if you are a teacher chastising a student. I am a grown woman and I am trying to weigh my options, hence why I posted here in the first place.

  It's difficult for me to find any differing opinions on this subject in my off-line life. The only JWs that I know are my fiance's relatives, and I don't want to cause trouble for him by voicing my many questions/doubts/differing opinions. Again, this is why I posted here in the first place.

  I still have a lot to think about, so I thank you all again for offering your opinions and experiences.
• 
  39

  Being a feminist in the JW religion

  by Chemical Emotions in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  it essentially makes me feel like i am an evil, immoral, selfish imdividual who god hates (even though "evil" is really a religious term, and i am not religious, even though i don't do terrible things, even though i care about others so much that i am remaining a jw mainly for other people).

  i hate not being able to express my feelings, not just about supposed gender roles, but about many aspects of life.

  i think i am fair and accepting about both sexes, and all sexual orientations, and about many other things, such as a person's religion or the lack thereof.. and yet in this religion it is veiwed as a bad thing, a sin, to accept or even tolerate these things without prejudice.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  junebug_11

  *nods vigorously* The obvious degradation of women is one of the BIGGEST issues I have with the JW organization and one of the main reasons why I will never convert.

  My (JW) fiance doesn't seem to think that they are wrong (of course), because of the "Headship" (or, as I like to call it, the "Penis-ship"). I have a huge problem with the fact that I can't hold a talk or that I'd have to keep my head covered if I want to pray in front of men. I am a feminist and I believe in the equality of men and women. If I ever joined up, I'd want to be able to do a talk or be an elder. I like being in a leadership role, and an organization that doesn't allow that is not one that I want to be a part of.
• 
  100

  Need Opinions -- Engaged to a JW!!

  by junebug_11 in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  ok, quick run down of my situation.. .

  1. i am not religious.

  my now-fiance was raised jw but left the religion about 10 years ago.. 2. we started dating last march, i got pregnant within two weeks.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  junebug_11

  @ABibleStudent -- haha, yes he has "researched" other religions by reading a WTBTS book about the other religions. I will look into getting that "Crisis of Conscience" book, I've heard good things about it.

  @everyone: A big problem is that his entire family is JW, his dad is a former elder. He was really "the black sheep" up until a few months ago.

  One of the things I really don't understand is why you can't just sit at home and read your Bible....why does there have to be a bunch of meetings and extra literature? If you are really following "God's word", shouldn't you be able to figure out what it is saying for yourself?

  I equate it to English class.....the literature is just ONE interpretation of a literary work. If every single person thought the exact same thing about every book, essays or compare/contrast opinion pieces would be null en void. His argument is that it is impossible for the 12 men in Brooklyn to write the Watchtower/Awake magazines themselves, but....how do they come to be? Is it how I assume, that they sit down every month, decide what it's going to be about, then have a staff of writers, with the council having the yes/no on the final draft?
• 
  100

  Need Opinions -- Engaged to a JW!!

  by junebug_11 in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  ok, quick run down of my situation.. .

  1. i am not religious.

  my now-fiance was raised jw but left the religion about 10 years ago.. 2. we started dating last march, i got pregnant within two weeks.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  junebug_11

  Thanks everyone for your quick responses!

  I forgot to mention, he is not baptized but plans to be once we get married (since obviously we are sinnin' left and right over here lol). I'm not sure why he originally left, although he's touched on it a little, saying that he lost faith in himself.

  We have talked about the view of women by the church.....I just learned yesterday that they cannot speak a prayer aloud in the presence of a man and I think I blew a blood vessel, LOL. Whereas his response is just a shrug and a "well that's referring to the Headship". Not that I'd ever join, but it bothers me that I wouldn't even be able to read a passage at a meeting or head a meeting simply because I wasn't born with the "correct" gentalia. I am a feminist at heart, so that hits me in a certain way and makes me very uncomfortable/enraged at the same time.

  He says that he's open-minded and not brainwashed and has done research....and yet will not explore other religions with me, since JW is "the truth".

  I know that we're not supposed to try to change our partner (since it never works), but I really feel like I had the rug pulled out from under me on this one. I feel like he really sprung it all on me, after it was too late to leave (since it was after the birth of our child and 9 months together!).
• 
  100

  Need Opinions -- Engaged to a JW!!

  by junebug_11 in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  ok, quick run down of my situation.. .

  1. i am not religious.

  my now-fiance was raised jw but left the religion about 10 years ago.. 2. we started dating last march, i got pregnant within two weeks.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  junebug_11

  Ok, quick run down of my situation.

  1. I am not religious. My now-fiance was raised JW but left the religion about 10 years ago.

  2. We started dating last March, I got pregnant within two weeks. He told me that he would only go back to the religion if "something really big happened" (which I read as "never").

  3. Our baby was born this past December, he had severe birth issues, almost died, etc. He decided that he was going to go back to the religion.

  4. That is fine with me, until he decides that we're not having sex until we get married (supposedly June 30, 2012).

  It is now about a year to our supposed wedding, and I am filled with many, many doubts. I love any and all holidays for the food/family aspect, whereas he will kind of cooperate but it's always a struggle. If our son needs a blood transfusion, I will do so without hesitation. I have absolutely NO intention of coverting to JW, however I do attend meetings with him occasionally, and let him take our son to meetings sometimes as well (as a sign of support). His congregation and family seem to like me enough, but I'm curious how/if that'll change if and when we get married.

  So basically..... does anyone have any advice? Do you think that we can we make it work? Is anyone else in a similar situation?

  The fact that we have a kid throws a huge monkey wrench into the whole thing....my parents are still together and I always wanted that kind of stable home life for any children I may have :(

  I love my fiance, but I have a lot of doubts as to if we'll make it for the long haul :(