Chris -
You don't know me, but you may know my wife Billygoat. I don't really know you either, but I know what you're going through. Been there done that kinda thing. I am not in total understanding of your post, and not sure what event took place that has caused people to post mean things in various forums and blogs.
One thing I do understand, however, is drugs and drug friends. Coke was my poison, and one that tainted my life for nearly four years. I loved it. I loved doing it with my friends, and if they weren't really my friends, they were at least my friends that night. There will always be a special place in my heart for my drug buddies...though they are long gone now. "Drug buddies" are more complicated than people give them credit for. Bonds with "drug buddies" happen because two or more people are experiencing something amazing, life changing or simpy just out of the ordinary. If two strangers saw a ghost, they'd be closer after that...same goes with drugs. So, I understand how hard it is to say goodbye to your drug buddies. But saying goodbye to them is just as important as stopping your drug usage. You're sobriety won't happen until both are done away with. I'm not sure how involved these people are in your life, so saying goodbye might mean kicking them out of your home, or simply just not calling them...either way, do it. I got lucky and got evicted from my apt. where 10 of my "drug buddies" lived and I moved 200 miles away.
As for the drugs, I'm not sure what you've been taking...but I bet it's physically addictive, so pot, lsd and shrooms it out. Plus, you've got/had a drug debt, to me, that only happens with H, speed or coke. Those are nasty little chemicals that kidnap your soul and drag you down further than you ever expected...I take it you're there now. Getting off these requires a lot of hard work, mental toughness, and possible hospitalization if the withdrawls are potentially deadly.
You've got a hell of a road ahead of you, but you're on the right path by just posting what you did...asking for help is key, going it alone is nearly impossible. I'm proud of you for that. Please know there are many people here and elsewhere that know what you're dealing with and would love to help, use them. Feel free to pm me. I truly wish you the best.
Neil