I will never forgive them
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=14062&site=3
Posts by msil
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23Forgiving the Governing Body
by Derrick inas a baptized jehovah's witness, i have been tested over the years by those very ones who claim they are entrusted with my soul.
i'll digress a moment to state that one strong theory that has deeply troubled me over the years, centers around their transformation over a century into a caricaturistic representation of christendom.
(refer definition of caricature at http://www.dictionary.com/cgi-bin/dict.pl?term=caricature for clarification.).
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96
Email to my Dad on the UN / Prison Stories
by msil inok......it has taken me lots of soul searching to put this post up (it contains some facts i dont really feel all that comfortable putting up).
but i will try and leave out here for as long as i can.. it is an email i have sent to my dad.
it is a followup - he has some of the info on the un already.
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msil
To all of you,
Thanks so much for the support and encouragement. There are many things (upheavals) going on in my life right now some bad, some awful and some experiences I have had over the past week have been the happiest days of my life too. Perhaps its this blend which led me to post this here.
In any event, there are questions I cannot answer - for the sake of my family. Questions like: country and how long (I will tell you it was for more than 3 years - thats all. The society can quite quickly deduce things from such information if I give it out specifically....I have met other brothers from other countries....they say I was in prison for x years....and many times I know by x where they were imprisoned).
We spent many nights cold and hungry and some times the military would give us bad food - which made us ill...(I carried more than one brother unconcious to the hospital....as I was myself on occasion).
We stood up to the military, we did hard time (manual labor digging trenches by hand, no luxuries, no TVs, radios, etc -just your clothes - 2 overalls) a bunch of boys (too young to really be called men) for the principles such as "My kingdom is NO PART of this world". We took our licks for it. We did so proudly and we each thought "Jehovah's Heart is rejoicing as we make our reply to the one who is taunting him". Even now my mother is able to come to terms with my inactivity as a JW by saying "it's OK. Jehovah will not forget about it." She thinks somehow I earned heaven-credit or something.... I love the angel who made me so happy.
While I am not sure if I have it in me to kill people.....we were not allowed (by the society) to do alternate service at the time. This was subsequently amended when "new light" came out. I have discussed this before now with elders......I cannot accept the "new light" without some form of apology. Why can't they just say "the organization was wrong"? A bunch of pathetic rationalizing went on and I just looked at them and said nothing. Some of them even told me privately they understood my viewpoint on the matter.
Now the UN thing....the hypocrisy!!! I am disgusted. If they want to DF me for it they can - then I will see them in court and I will take it to the public press all over. I am unstable right now, I am close the point where I am ready to lose everything....but then so will they.
There are more than one of me here.
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96
Email to my Dad on the UN / Prison Stories
by msil inok......it has taken me lots of soul searching to put this post up (it contains some facts i dont really feel all that comfortable putting up).
but i will try and leave out here for as long as i can.. it is an email i have sent to my dad.
it is a followup - he has some of the info on the un already.
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msil
Kent,
You and I spoke the other day.....thanks so much for all the support you have given me.
Perhaps in time I will be able to say more. There are many reasons why I cannot be more specific.....I have not even told my wife about many of the things that happened to me in there.
Sincerely,
MSIL -
96
Email to my Dad on the UN / Prison Stories
by msil inok......it has taken me lots of soul searching to put this post up (it contains some facts i dont really feel all that comfortable putting up).
but i will try and leave out here for as long as i can.. it is an email i have sent to my dad.
it is a followup - he has some of the info on the un already.
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msil
Thanks for the responses. I will try to answer them later....today has been far to emotional for me so far.
Sincerely,
MSIL -
96
Email to my Dad on the UN / Prison Stories
by msil inok......it has taken me lots of soul searching to put this post up (it contains some facts i dont really feel all that comfortable putting up).
but i will try and leave out here for as long as i can.. it is an email i have sent to my dad.
it is a followup - he has some of the info on the un already.
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msil
Closer,
Not really. I asked my Mom about his reaction.....and all she said is that he keeps telling here "...it can't be true.....it can't be true".
I almost feel guilty about sending it to them. Their whole circle of frinds for close to 40 years has been the JWs. It is not a consoling feeling to destroy their belief system....(just my opinion). But this is too big of an issue for me. This is my personal "demon" (not many have thought of it that way) as a result of the organizations policies.
Sincerely,
MSIL -
96
Email to my Dad on the UN / Prison Stories
by msil inok......it has taken me lots of soul searching to put this post up (it contains some facts i dont really feel all that comfortable putting up).
but i will try and leave out here for as long as i can.. it is an email i have sent to my dad.
it is a followup - he has some of the info on the un already.
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msil
OK......it has taken me lots of soul searching to put this post up (it contains some facts I dont really feel all that comfortable putting up). But I will try and leave out here for as long as I can.
It is an email I have sent to my Dad. It is a followup - he has some of the info on the UN already. Some on this board have questioned why the JWs will respond to the UN issue but not to the other issues. Well the UN issue affects me personally....I paid a very high price for it.
Here goes:
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Dear Dad,"Organized to Accomplish Our Ministry" page 151
"Concerning those who renounced their Christian faith in his day, the apostle John wrote: "They went out from among us, but they were not of our sort; for if they had been of our sort they would have remained with us" (1 John 2:19) Also a person might renounce his place in the Christian congregation by his actions, such as by becoming part of a secular organization the objective of which is contrary to the Bible and hence, is under judgement by Jehovah God. (Compare Revelation 19: 17-21; Isaiah 2:4) So if a person who is a Christian chooses to join those who are disapproved by God, it would be fitting for the congregation to acknowledge by a brief announcement that he has disassociated himself and is no longer one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. Such a person would be viewed in the same way as a disfellowshipped person"
Think of the United Nations and the stuff I sent previously. Now ask: "How do you disfellowship the governing body?" Or do organizations get judged differently to people? If so do the members (people) of the organization escape judgement?
Why did I go to prison for many years because of "neutrality"? Why have I continued to have terrible nightmares about it for so many years ever since I was released? You know it changed me forever. If I had chosen to become "part of a secular organization " - I would have been disfellowshipped. Even if they voluntarily joined the UN for humanitarian reasons - how come I could not voluntary choose alternative service of a humane nature? I am really angry about this state affairs.
Love you dearly,
MSIL
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7
Meaning - coping
by msil inpick up the newspaper.. go to the obituary section.
follow the steps below.
step 1 ok - look at just the names (don't read the words) - just the names.
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msil
Metal slides....they can get really hot in the sun...I remember them as a kid.
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9
Selling my soul
by msil ini didn't think ebay would be willing to let me sell my soul over there...i don't need it anymore.
life is just too dark.. so i am selling it here.. any bids?.
any requests for more information?.
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msil
Sirona - thank you.
But the dogs of Penthesilea are worth more than a million pounds....
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9
Selling my soul
by msil ini didn't think ebay would be willing to let me sell my soul over there...i don't need it anymore.
life is just too dark.. so i am selling it here.. any bids?.
any requests for more information?.
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msil
I have one outside bid so far.
Penthesilea has bid for my soul. Her offer stands as follows:
"Penthesilea, blinded by her injured pride and volcanic passions, arrives with murder in her eyes. Armed with a bow, she shoots MSIL through the throat, sets her man-killing dogs on him, and then pounces, hyena-like, onto his chest, tearing his flesh with her own teeth"
She has offered her dog in exchange for my soul. It is above my reserve price. Who knows the answer to that?
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9
Selling my soul
by msil ini didn't think ebay would be willing to let me sell my soul over there...i don't need it anymore.
life is just too dark.. so i am selling it here.. any bids?.
any requests for more information?.
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msil
Dana,
Are you bidding?