Posts by msil

7

Kent, what does 'BOE' mean ?

by Simon in

jw
friends

i know i'll probably look a right dumb-ass for not knowing this but what does boe actually mean?

you keep asking for boe letters and i can't for the life of me think of that the acronym stands for.... please ?

Are you an Afghan Crack Baby?

by msil in

jw
friends

just as a crack baby has no say in his/her decision to be under the control of an evil substance so to becoming a jw was not a decision i made for myself.

i was born into the controlled world of jehovah's witnesses, just as many others here were too.

i was speaking with someone today and i (being the usual good-for-nothing do-gooder i am) commented on how i feel so sad for the afghan kids and their lot in life.

Just as a crack baby has no say in his/her decision to be under the control of an evil substance so to becoming a JW was not a decision I made for myself. I was born into the controlled world of Jehovah's Witnesses, just as many others here were too.

I was speaking with someone today and I (being the usual good-for-nothing do-gooder I am) commented on how I feel so sad for the Afghan kids and their lot in life. The other person said, callously, "they don't know anything else. They were born there and that's all they have ever known".

So were we, as kids, like Afghan crack-babies? We were put under abusive control and we had no worldly friends, no birthdays, being made to be a spectacle of on neutrality issues, no sport, no college and on and on and on. On top of that we accepted it all because "we never knew any thing else" - yes we never knew anything but survived as misfits in society because otherwise we would not have been allowed "to play with lions and tigers in the wonderful paradise" that was coming to fill the earth.

While I realize the strength of the analogies to crack-babies and Afghan kids they the point: it's so much harder to decondition as one who grew up a JW than one who made the conscious choice to join. (please don't misinterperet this as minimizing - a post on minimizing to follow in the next few days - what you went through if you were one who made a choice).

As one example: I have never celebrated a birthday in my life - isn't it sad? I don't even know how!! I don't know what I am supposed to feel...if I do celebrate my birthday will my residual "programming" make me feel guilty? I don't even have the desire to celebrate my birthday.... "its all I have ever known"; I never had a choice and I don't know how to make that choice even now.

While one can rationalize about tangibles, like birthdays, how does one deal with issues such as the condition of dead loved ones now? As an Afghan Crack Baby I had a coping mechanism - before I could even dribble over my bottom lip, I was taught all about the "wonderful resurrection" and how a loving all powerful being was going to kill billions of people, who knew nothing about him, but then he was going to resurrect other billions because he loved mankind so much and as such I should love him unreservedly. This enabled me to reason that my loving grandmother was "sleeping just like Lazarus" was and I was able to cope with the concept of death.

Reality is now too harsh for me to face... Living with uncertainty leaves me way too coherent of the world around me.

I do not want to "know better". I want my drugs back please, Mama....

I am an Afghan Crack Baby

25

My beautiful sister......

by Tatiana in

today is the anniversary of my only sister's suicide four years ago.

she was 38. i've had a candle lit for her all day long.

i've been playing her favorite songs...livin' on a prayer by bon jovi.

msil

April,

You are a wonderful person who was probably scared to death while that was happening. There is nothing you could have done.

I remember so well some of the decisions/lack of decisions I made as a teenager - I have some deep regrets over them. But, I also remember the fear of the unknown/punishment which meant I never decided to do anything out of line. While I never had to experience anything remotely as awful as you and Kelly did - I nevertheless acted like a zombie and just towed the line in my decisions. My experience and that of everyone else in no way minimizes your experience....it just makes some of us try harder to understand others, just as we desire others to undestand us.

So one can only try to imagine how afraid you must have felt (although I am sure it was worse than I can ever imagine). After reading the story I am totally convinced (without a doubt, April) that you are not to blame in any way and in all likelihood if you had tried to interfere you would have ended up in a similar predicament to Kelly.

Let no one minimize what happened to her and let no one forget... but more importantly Kelly "wanted someone to love her". That reflects an innate love on her part and I am totally convinced that she would want you to have a life of love too. Don't immerse yourself in guilt as guilt just creates more pain and it feeds on itself and doing so only means there were 2 victims at your mothers hand. You have the opportunity to prove your mother wrong by finding and experiencing unconditional love in your love.

Sincerely,
MSIL

25

My beautiful sister......

by Tatiana in

today is the anniversary of my only sister's suicide four years ago.

she was 38. i've had a candle lit for her all day long.

i've been playing her favorite songs...livin' on a prayer by bon jovi.

msil

Dear April,

I was touched by your post, especially by one of the phrases you used:
"All she wanted was for someone to love her". She had you to love her, April, and her memory will be forever in your heart.

I have had the privilege of meeting you on here very briefly. Please accept my sympathies while you are hurting. Also, please know, without reservation, that there are many people here who care about you, April.

Sincerely,
MSIL

3

Don't be NEGATIVE

by msil in

jw
friends

take a walk through the cemetery and while you are there look at all the gravestones.. on each gravestone you will see engraved the name of the deceased person.

in most cases underneath the name will be a birth date and date of death.

for example: john doe, 4 may 1957 - 21 october 2000.. then there will be some short inscription.

msil

Take a walk through the cemetery and while you are there look at all the gravestones.

On each gravestone you will see engraved the name of the deceased person. In most cases underneath the name will be a birth date and date of death. For example: John Doe, 4 May 1957 - 21 October 2000.

Then there will be some short inscription. But let's look back at the dates. How do they denote the person's life?

See it? It goes birth date then "-" and then death date. Yes, every persons life is denoted by a minus sign!!

So next time some one says "don't be negative" you can smile and rest assured that you are living your life as it will be denoted on your grave stone.

20

State of My Faith

by Amazing in

jw
friends

some have wondered about where i come from on the topic of faith.

and, as we all ponder our past jw religion, and the events of the day, i need to take some time to address matters of my faith, as i look for some answers.. when adam was created, god did not wait for adam to play a guessing game and start praying.

rather, god reached out to adam.

msil

I recommend you read "The Selfish Gene" by Richard Dawkins.

It will change the way you see the world around you very quickly.

20

State of My Faith

by Amazing in

jw
friends

some have wondered about where i come from on the topic of faith.

and, as we all ponder our past jw religion, and the events of the day, i need to take some time to address matters of my faith, as i look for some answers.. when adam was created, god did not wait for adam to play a guessing game and start praying.

rather, god reached out to adam.

msil

Welcome home guys.

I already live here and I can do with some company http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=11441&site=3

589

MAJOR UN/WTS NEWS- UN LETTER & 1992 Press R...

by hawkaw in

as of 6:02 pm last night i received a facsimile from paul hoeffel at the un on the wts.. he gave me 3 of the 4 things i requested in two paragraphs.. i have sent a scanned version to steve bates and someone else.. i sent it to kent and randy.

and kent and randy have posted the official united nations letter on their web sites.. here is the letter - put your cursor on the image and then right click on your mouse and hit "save image" to your computer.. .

after you look at kent's web site and you people still think this it is a fake letter, phone paul hoeffel yourself at (212) 963-8070.. hawk

msil

Hawk,

Yes - thanks. I already sent him a jpeg of the letter.

Now where is that check? :-)

589

MAJOR UN/WTS NEWS- UN LETTER & 1992 Press R...

by hawkaw in

as of 6:02 pm last night i received a facsimile from paul hoeffel at the un on the wts.. he gave me 3 of the 4 things i requested in two paragraphs.. i have sent a scanned version to steve bates and someone else.. i sent it to kent and randy.

and kent and randy have posted the official united nations letter on their web sites.. here is the letter - put your cursor on the image and then right click on your mouse and hit "save image" to your computer.. .

after you look at kent's web site and you people still think this it is a fake letter, phone paul hoeffel yourself at (212) 963-8070.. hawk

msil

Damn!!!

So now the WT will likely lose some tax privileges in certain countries. Then they will ask the R&F for more money and my family will gladly give more of my beautiful money that I earned through my devotion to materialism.

I think Hawk needs to send me a check to make up the difference to my future lifestyle.

38

Help!! I am extremely confused.

by Leander in

jw
friends

i'm at a definite crossroad in my life right now and i don't know which direction to turn.. for my entire life i've been taught to believe in one thing but now i'm seeing things that i never knew where there before.

i find it very disturbing that there has been so many predictions the wts has made in the past that failed to come true.

also the bouncing back and forth on certain doctrines make me question my beliefs.. but on the other hand i can't ignore things like the fact the organization is growing while other religions are on the decline.

msil

re 1975: "That's not totally true, they did publish a short 'apology' of sorts, but all it does is blame the rank and file for the error and not themselves. I forgot the exact issue date and page."

The piece you refer to is embedded in the end of a paragraph n a yearbook. Thats a joke - not an apology.