I've never had an NDE, but I am fascinated by them. There are many YouTube videos with people recounting their NDE experiences. Dr. Raymond Moody wrote a book in 1975 called "Life After Life" in which he explores the phenomenon in detail after interviewing many experiencers.
I, of course, can offer no explanation for what you're going through. It's hard coping with intense feelings like you have for this woman. The best recommendation I can make is therapy. Be careful who you tell about this, though, because people tend to see you as insane/crazy.