Island Woman, Great post!
Cicatrix, I can really relate to how you must be feeling. Life is definitely not black and white. I was raised a witness, so the world was always so black and white. I have not attended in a while now. Sometimes a while goes by between prayers. I sometimes don't know for sure that God is even listening to me , or cares about me. I get mad at him, beg for his forgiveness, I thought that praying for wisdom would be a smart thing to do, reasoning that if I was wrong in my prayers, then the increased wisdom I would have would help me to pray the correct way. I think I will keep on trying to figure things out, until I die of old age someday. Then we will all know what the answer is, hey? To late by then though.