my wife has just left for the memorial.. just before she went she asked me to come...this was the second year in a row that i declined.
i hated seeing her so sad, i almost agreed to go just to cheer her up but that would betray her in a very real sense.
to go to the memorial would be an admission in her eyes (and other jws) that i still believe deep down that it is the truth.
Hi rnault,
Welcome to the board.
I've never been in your situation before, but plenty of people here have. My husband is at a crossroads, he wants to fade away, but hesitates because he knows it will devastate his mom. I have a hard time understanding this, but reading posts like yours helps me to have some insight and empathy for his situation. Hopefully you will find your participation here just as helpful.
Peace,
Michelle
simon did away with the sex forum - so i must take the tradional route and post under "make new friends.
" how mundane!.
fyi ---- for all of us, please take the time to write a sentence or two about yourselves, and encourage new ones to do the same.
Greetings to the Emperor,
So as it was said, so let it be written, so let it be done.
Our one common link is being one of Jehovah's Witnesses - and walking away for good reasons. No exceptions.I was never a JW, I walked away from the "bible" study I participated in with my husband, can that count? :)
Let's see...my quick summary:
Met a super-terrific guy, first love and all of those romantic things. Dated, got engaged, found out what religion he was raised in. Went to my first memorial, in Spanish, which went beyond the classes I had in school. Thought it was weird, esp. when my sweetie said that since we were engaged we could sit next to each other, but since I couldn't understand much beyond "con much gusto", it didn't leave too much of an impression on me.
Married in a civil ceremony, and since he had joined the military a year prior, off from our hometown we went. Except for memorial attendance, to which I would very grudgingly go to, religion was not an issue in our family. (His mom would phone to let us know when it was, so we couldn't forget.)
Fast forward a few years, moved back to our hometown, have two young kids, and religion became a major issue. Tried taking kids to both places of worship, I started attending the KH more, because I was lonely on "his" Sundays and the next thing I know he has arranged a "bible" study for the both of us. Participated in that for about 9 mos or so (it's getting fuzzy, probably self-induced amnesia), going so very painfully slow through the book, before I clicked on Freeminds (Thanks Randy!) out of the blue one day and I started reading there. I refused to attend the KH or the study any longer, while he dived further into the organization.
He was baptized at the end of 1999, telling me a day and a half before the event--I had just made my first post on the old H2O the day before. Lotsa turmoil for a while there, but I think things are smoothing out, well between us anyways. Matters between him and his JW family (mom, sis, and her family) are yet to be determined, as he is becoming increasingly inactive and trying to fade away.
That's it, oh except for my age, which I notice people are terribly fond of indicating in this thread, it's 32.
Hello to all the newbies here too, I'm a junior member, which I presume is a lot like being a butter-bar lieutenant who thinks they are all of that--which is annoying to those who truly are. Don't despair, 20 posts and you're a jr. member too.
That's all for now, time for me to meddle in some other thread.
Michelle
i'm a new member but have been a lurker for some time, even more so since witnet went down.. i have never been a jw, though i have a couple family members on my side who are, also my inlaws and my inactive jw husband.
right now i'm studying though it's more out of learning about them and finding out what makes them tick rather than joining.
also the jws are the only religion that my husband would allow me to get involved with.
Welcome to the board BD,
I have to agree with several other posters, something isn't right here.
. Also the JWs are the only religion that my husband would allow me to get involved with.
I'm glad my coffee cup was down here or things could have been messy. What!!!!! First, I checked the date on my calender--whew! It still says 2001! Then I checked to see if you stated where you were posting from--the US of A. Women have rights in this country, and haven't been considered property for a few years now.
To my surprise my husband had never been to one either.
Now how does that happen? My guess is he's not baptized, otherwise someone is not being very forthright. I've never been a JW, but I've been to 10 Memorials, it is the absolutely must be there event unless you are on your deathbed, which will be verified. Even inactive JWs show up for this event to keep the gossip down to a low roar and to fend off inquisitive elders.
I grew up in a liberal church (my husband says my church was "too Catholic" which is hysterical if you ever been to my church ;) ) where we didn't put down any other religion...
Welcome to the world of the Watchtower, where every other religion is false, of Satan and God is gonna smite them all. I too was raised in a very liberal church, and the WTS's viewpoint was very bigoted and nauseating for me.
Right now I'm studying though it's more out of learning about them and finding out what makes them tick rather than joining.
Careful. The Society has had decades of practice of luring you into there little organization. The thing they don't tell you is once you are in there is no honorable way to leave, especially if you have family in the organization.
Peace,
Michelle
the woman i am dating has a 4 year old child.
he's a cute kid, and we get along very well.. the father was once a jw and he went to the same kingdom hall as my girlfriend.
but now he's out and celebrates holidays, birthdays, etc.
now, I'm posting this just to see how many posts it takes before I stop being a "newbie" :)
20
Hi Texasbred,
I'm a nonjw, married to a jw, who I is becoming more and more inactive, and is considering fading away. Like you, I think he is perfect, well, mostly perfect in every other way but his choice of religion.
I don't know if Melissa was raised in the org, but as others have said even if you can get her out of the org, can you get the org out of her? The posters to this thread and your intro one had a lot of good points, Alan and 6of9 pretty much laid it out for you, now you have to weigh things and decide.
Best wishes,
Michelle
i recieved this note from a young person i know personally.
it brought tears to my eyes for someone so young to see things so clearly.
why can't six million others see this simple reality and the need for change?.
Hi Wayne,
Welcome to the board, hope you hang around a while and join in.
As a student of psychology, loved that term BTW, perhaps you are familiar with incidences like "Stockholm syndrom" or where abused spouses or children still love their abusers, will protect them over and over again at their own cost. Might be an area you would like to study closer, just an observation.
Peace,
Michelle
PS. Would like to see you document the statistics you based your opinions about the well adjusted lives of JWs on, etc.
my wife has just left for the memorial.. just before she went she asked me to come...this was the second year in a row that i declined.
i hated seeing her so sad, i almost agreed to go just to cheer her up but that would betray her in a very real sense.
to go to the memorial would be an admission in her eyes (and other jws) that i still believe deep down that it is the truth.
Thanks Es,
I'm not incredibly worried about them being converted, but irritated that the factor is still in the equation. I could look at the bright side and hope that all of this has a reason, when they are off on their own, it will be hard for them to be taken in by any high control group. They will have had a lot of reading on the subject.
Guess that I'm irritated that the Matriarch (the mother-in-law) got it her way again. Can't upset her afterall, just wouldn't be nice.
Glad to hear your evening went smoothly and remember don't let your ex take out his irritation on you for not seeing her off to tonight's little ritual. He knows exactly where you stand.
Here's hoping it's the last time my kids have to go. They grumbled the whole time, to the wrong parent, "I thought you said we didn't go to meeting anymore Mom.", etc.
Have a good night all
Michelle
hi guys, you have so supportive with asking about me, need some air words right now, leaving in ahour for emerg.
prayers laughs anything will do.
regards.....nojw ... forgive any misspelled words just to shaky to type.
Ditto on all the supportive thoughts nojw86,
Best wishes,
Michelle
my wife has just left for the memorial.. just before she went she asked me to come...this was the second year in a row that i declined.
i hated seeing her so sad, i almost agreed to go just to cheer her up but that would betray her in a very real sense.
to go to the memorial would be an admission in her eyes (and other jws) that i still believe deep down that it is the truth.
My husband just left with my two children. I keep them away the rest of the year, but cave in on this day. I managed to keep things civil, almost pleasant in the days leading up to this, asking if he was planning on taking them. I didn't get a definitive answer until 2pm today.
He's trying to keep up appearances, and please his family by taking them. He even asked if I wanted to go. LOL! I will not inflate their numbers tonight by going this evening, I will not lend any kind of credibility to this organization. I would have to leave before they start passing around "the emblems" any ways, I may no longer claim to be a Christian, but I refuse to participate in that farce.
I got the children clean, dressed and ready to go. I wasn't smiling and singing, but neither was I grumbling or sulking. He had the nerve to ask me on the way out the door why I was so somber. DUH! For a smart guy he can ask some rather unwise questions, so I let him know how unhappy I was about the children going. I worry by him taking them that he is indicating that joining the Org is an acceptable thing.
It all went downhill from there in a mere 45 seconds....I did tell him as he stepped out that I would be heartbroken if my children ever joined his cult. I suppose I'll be hearing more about this on his return tonight.
I laugh at his insistence a year ago that it is not a cult and that he could leave any time he wanted. The latter is not a lie, I suppose, he just didn't want to acknowledge that you don't get to keep any of the relationships you have formed within the Organization.
Frustrated, pissed, and worried now...
Michelle
well here it is folks the response to my wife's letter.
i guess i have become more evil between letters.
once again any ideas as to how to answer this type of logic?
Hey Wasasis,
Good post.
Michelle
well here it is folks the response to my wife's letter.
i guess i have become more evil between letters.
once again any ideas as to how to answer this type of logic?
I couldn't read past this:
You cannot stop all children from being abused just as no one can stop incest, physical abuse, etc… It happens outside and in Jehovah’s Organization from those not truly applying his standards.
What an attitude. It nauseated me. "I can't stop the abuse happening in the world, so I'm not even gonna try, damn the kids and other victims involved that's just the way it is." How pathetic.
Michelle
