quendi - thanks for that, I've replied.
leavingwt - I think you and quendi are basically on the same page. You are both against hypocrisy, right? I hear your scenario about an elder not refusing to give talks for fear of beginning a downward spiral, however (certainly in western lands) the stresses of the system of things and the need to provide for one's family seem to be increasingly used as reasons to be "modest" in what one is or isn't able to do as a pioneer or elder. I'm sure if an elder approached the subject at an elder's meetings and brandished 1 Tim 5:8, saying that he has too much on his plate and needs to make sure he has giving enough time for his family etc, it would all get pushed through without too many objections.
I STILL haven't heard from the elders on "Sunday Talks" who are bragging thus: "Ooooh guess what guys, I have this public talk on Sunday, what should I do??!!" Where are you guys??!!
Family can be a reason for staying in "the truth", and it could even be a reason to remain as an elder, but staying on the public speaker's list? That's optional surely. If the Mrs is giving grief that she wants you to stay on it, and how you can you be so ridiculous as to stop giving public talks, then I suppose that's understandable. If, however, the Mrs is reasonably flexible (even as a devout witness) and is interested in having you around more, I think there are ways out of it if you plan it carefully enough.