I'm going to try again to reply......I couldn't get my replies to actually appear....(thanks for the tip Black Sheep)
and "yes" N. Drew, that is what I meant. I appreciate the replies. It's given me a lot to consider. (Especially the ones from Leolaia)
Related to this is how 1 Corn. 1:10 ("you should all speak in agreement") is used by the org. to support the stance for unity (by conformity). To me, in this scripture Paul was exhorting the brothers to be in agreement about who they were following (the Christ). It was not a command that they be in agreement about everything. In fact he even starts the verse by using the expression "I exhort you...". So, I think, if one believes the writings of the NT are all inspired by God then even the "exhortations" seem like commands. If one does not necessairly believe all writings in the NT are inspired by God (with all due respect to Paul since he was an apostle) then the exhortations carry less weight and do not have to be viewed as commands. Am I making a valid point? Trying to explain this makes me feel like a dog chasing its tail. I do believe that the commands of Jesus as related in the NT are inspired.
One of the reasons I left the org. was that I felt like the org. did not have authority to dictate so much of my life for the sake of unity. What bothers me is that there is a lot about the org. I actually like, but that I cannot really associate with them because I am expected to comply 100% or I'm out.