@ - Clambake - CONGRATS on the baby, bro. They are a lot of hard work, but SOOOOO worth it, lol.
Now in regards, to the over-stepping, uber-dub, dopey Elder, if his actions, are really and truly bugging you, which its quite evident they are, you SHOULD let him know whats up. Every situation is different, and of course, we do not have all the "details", and particulars, but if you feel he is over stepping his boundaries, then you gotta put an end to it.
I know you have a JW wife, but i dont know how "up" on the JW "culture" you are, but some elders feel they are just looking out for the "flock" or the "weak", and MOST of them do it incorrectly as stupid, imperfect MEN, and those are the ones with "good" intentions. Forget about the ones with bad intentions. Like if an Elder DOES have an infatuation with YOUR wife. He could be coming up with all types of "scenarios", on how he may be her "savior", or "knight in shining armor", and his perception of her "life" could be all twisted in his mind. You may very well have to "school" him, on "WHATS UP".
Wher i come from, Brooklyn/Staten Island NYC, this "cat" would learn real kwick not to be texting my old lady, and it would stop. That being said, every situation is different. The best advice i can give you, is if this bothers you, and i know it does, lol, then STOP it. How you do that, is up to you, but keeping your wifes "feelings" as your main priority, should dictate how you go about this.
Be tactful, be firm and to the point, but get your message across logically, and put HIM/THEM in a place of empathy. Like, how would he like it, and use WTS own doctrine as your foundation, so you dont come across asa "paranoid" unbeleiver, but from a scriptural basis as the "head".
Good luck, i wish you the best. I am sure it will work out, and once you put your feelings out there to this man, it should stop. If it doesnt, grab the guy by his left ear, and rip him out of his seat, during the Sunday public talk, lol, just kidding(maybe).