I have been very patient and tolerant in allowing my wife the freedom to worship, I have to do that... But I have questioned my kids from time to time and so far there hasn't been this problem of them thinking I'm a tool of Satan, but the wife has been getting a little more brazen and so that may change and it it does, that is the line in the sand where there will be no coming back from.
marriedtoajw
JoinedPosts by marriedtoajw
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20
More of my story, and need advice
by marriedtoajw ini've given part of my story under my previous user name sahara but i need some advice and so i need to give more detail.
just a refresher, my wife was baptised 4 years ago and mil and fil have been jw's for 40 years, i've never been a jw but am a christian.
about 18 years ago, just 2 years after my wife and i married my wife announced that she wanted to start studying with the jw's.
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More of my story, and need advice
by marriedtoajw ini've given part of my story under my previous user name sahara but i need some advice and so i need to give more detail.
just a refresher, my wife was baptised 4 years ago and mil and fil have been jw's for 40 years, i've never been a jw but am a christian.
about 18 years ago, just 2 years after my wife and i married my wife announced that she wanted to start studying with the jw's.
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marriedtoajw
Yeah Billy, see that's the thing, since I didn't do what they expected, I am from Satan which means I'm f%$#ed. Yet she'll still go with me to celebrate the holidays with my family as she has for the last 20 years. She doesn't do much to participate or anything but she is there and kind of goes along with things which makes it all the more confusing... I think it's all an act to pacify me.
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More of my story, and need advice
by marriedtoajw ini've given part of my story under my previous user name sahara but i need some advice and so i need to give more detail.
just a refresher, my wife was baptised 4 years ago and mil and fil have been jw's for 40 years, i've never been a jw but am a christian.
about 18 years ago, just 2 years after my wife and i married my wife announced that she wanted to start studying with the jw's.
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marriedtoajw
garyneal - Cut them loose and live your live, she has her own cross to bear, let her bear it.
Yes garyneal, you're right and I have. It feels as if my wife and I have already gone through a spiritual divorce. We are civil but things have changed in a big way. I lost my best friend and I feel lonlier. Turns out, that person may never have really existed and what she is now, she's always really been. And I think you're right about wasting my time. To tell you the truth, I just don't have the energy. Just a little desperate in trying to get back what I throught we had... but maybe never really did have.
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How Many Out There Have to Hide or Be Stealthy When They Visit This Site? I know I do.
by PaintedToeNail ini cannot look at this site freely, it would make my hubby and son very upset.
i have to hide what i'm looking at, or try to view this page very late or very early in the morning.
hubby has taken to getting up at 11:30pm or later, to see what i'm doing on the computer.
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marriedtoajw
I do have to be careful as well. I work from home and my wife, a JW, is unemployed. I'm very careful about leaving this page open so she wont see if she walks in the room when I'm not in here. I think she saw me on here yesterday but she played it off as if she didn't see.
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More of my story, and need advice
by marriedtoajw ini've given part of my story under my previous user name sahara but i need some advice and so i need to give more detail.
just a refresher, my wife was baptised 4 years ago and mil and fil have been jw's for 40 years, i've never been a jw but am a christian.
about 18 years ago, just 2 years after my wife and i married my wife announced that she wanted to start studying with the jw's.
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marriedtoajw
So just to recap, MIL pressured us for years to move in with them out of state while MIL and FIL drained all the equity from their home to supplement their low income and used it to travel and gave money to my MIL drug addict sister. Then even after putting my house up for sale to help them, they take out another loan on their home to buy a rental property for my wife’s grandparents to retire and rent. Sister inlaw and hubby, both JW’s with no kids did not want to move in to help even though they lived in the same city and were going broke too. So all the pressure is on us as were struggling financially as well but managing.
I took a step back and really analyzed the situation and it became clear. These people are just way too irresponsible financially to help even if I wanted to. But even more shocking, I came to believe that all the pressure for us to move in with them all of those years was just a ruse so that they could have more influence over my wife and kids with the JW stuff. Of course I know they wanted to be close to their daughter and grand children I mean what parent wouldn’t, but then why did they move out there in the first place when it made no sence.
As I’ve stated in a previous post, I sacrificed 15 years of my summer vacations to spend with them so that my wife could spend time with them. But this also created an illusion for her and my kids because the time spent there was always doing fun stuff on vacation. My MIL is an excellent love bomber and this played into her hands. I was struggling over the decision to move out there in the first place. It’s not what I wanted but I was tired of making miracles happen keeping us a float. But once I realized I was being played and the blinders dropped I put a stop to the whole thing. I pushed hard at networking with ex coworkers I knew from previous jobs and a good paying job opportunity presented itself to me.
My wife’s sister called me and wanted to know why I was backing out and kept giving me the guilt trip about me trying to understand a mothers love for her daughter. I threw the ball back in her court and said, “what kind of love is it when they move out of state leaving their daughter and potential grand kids and then be ungrateful with all the sacrifices I made to keep traveling out there when we were always struggling financially too”.
Anyways, I took the job here and stayed. They ended up losing their house to foreclosure, so did my sister inlaw and hubby but the grandparents are still living in the rental property. Both sets of inlaws are now renting homes owned by a JW. So you see, I’m not the most liked person with them right now. Not long after this my wife gets baptized and her whole personality changed. It’s as if they all realized I wasn’t going to budge and all the pretences dropped.
Now, I will never move in with them and they know it but they are more brazen with the JW stuff in trying to influence my kids when they are around them which is rare cuz they still live out of state. So, I’d like your opinions. Would you try to study with the JW’s to help your spouse get out from with in? She wont talk to me about religion at all otherwise. If they are willing to resort to Theocratic War Strategies on me, how can I fight back. I await your responses…
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More of my story, and need advice
by marriedtoajw ini've given part of my story under my previous user name sahara but i need some advice and so i need to give more detail.
just a refresher, my wife was baptised 4 years ago and mil and fil have been jw's for 40 years, i've never been a jw but am a christian.
about 18 years ago, just 2 years after my wife and i married my wife announced that she wanted to start studying with the jw's.
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marriedtoajw
Sorry I keep doing that!!!
I've given part of my story under my previous user name Sahara but I need some advice and so I need to give more detail. Just a refresher, my wife was baptised 4 years ago and MIL and FIL have been JW's for 40 years, I've never been a JW but am a Christian. About 18 years ago, just 2 years after my wife and I married my wife announced that she wanted to start studying with the JW's. I wanted no part of it. Around the same time my MIL visted some family of hers out of state. She actually made an offer on a house that had 4 bed/3bath without my FIL's knowledge while she was there. He had a good paying job here so it made no sence to move out of state. He was also either disfellowshipped of just inactive, don't know which cuz I never asked but he was not active. He ended up going along with it all but he asked to move in with us under the pretext of him finding a good job out there first then move there later. In the mean time he would fly other there on the weekends.
Now I thought this was just crazy but this made sence to them. The house seemed too big for just them and my wifes sister. Since the day my MIL moved in she kept bugging for us to move out there. I'd always refuse. I had a huge family here and we're all close, there was nothing out there for me. This is how it went for years, she would drop hints, I'd brush them off etc etc. FIL finally decided to move with MIL even though he couldn't find a job that paid him even half of what he was making here. He got himself reinstated and decided to make the whole JW thing work. With the real estate market booming they were taking out loan after loan traveling here and there just living it up. Then about 5 years ago they fell on really hard times and the pressure for us to move out there really took on steam.
I was going broke here too, being in commssion sales, my wife unemployed, and not really trying hard to change that I might add, we were in serious financial trouble. So, for the first time I started considering it. My inlaws were delighted and I was even looking forward to a break too cuz I was working really hard for very little for so long. I put the house up for sale and started making arrangedments to seek employment in their state but nothing panned out. My MIL supposedly got my wife and job and so it was just my employment problems holding things up. I was running out of money and the debts were piling up. Then I find out the job my MIL had for my wife was bogus and not real, it was just made up. I had to take my house off the market after 4 or 5 months buz I had to take a loan out on it. It had lots of equity and I had no money and debts were piing up and the banks were giving away money.
Then I find out that MIL took another loan out on their house to make a down payment on another house for my wifes grandparents who were just retiring and wanted to lower expences and move close to my inlaws. By this time my sister in law was married and even though they were having money troubles too, they didn't want to move in with MIL and FIL to help them. I senced something was seriously wrong with this picture. More to come....
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Motives for starting the lie of Watchtower Authority.
by marriedtoajw ini have yet to come across anyones opinions, jw or not, of the personal motives of the leaders of the org.
to perpetuate what i guess we all would call the lie of the watchtoer authority.
in my opinion, i think that russell was an athiest out to show how easy it is to decieve people using the bible.
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marriedtoajw
I have yet to come across anyones opinions, jw or not, of the personal motives of the leaders of the Org. to perpetuate what I guess we all would call the lie of the Watchtoer Authority. In my opinion, I think that Russell was an athiest out to show how easy it is to decieve people using the Bible. Through his personal interpretations and charisma, he knew he had a talent of convincing people. He made it his mission to overturn Christianity doctrine by doctrine all the way up until his death. I believe that Rutherford was an opportunist who positioned himself to cash in on what Russell built. After them, they are all victims of victims. Just my opinion but I was just curious what your thoughts are on the motives of the original leaders Russell and Rutherford.
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What would you do???
by marriedtoajw inmy jw mother in law is in town this week.
my jw wife and i went to my cousins new years party last night and came home after 2am while my inlaw watched the kids.
today she gets into a discussion with my wife that i overheard telling her we shouldn't have gotten home so late cuz she assumed her and my wife would go to the meeting today.
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marriedtoajw
You've all made great points. My wife is very intimidated by her mother. Her dad, in my opinion, is a really giving person but weak and so mom gets what she wants. She's use to it. She portrays herself as a giving person but I've seen the fangs from time to time. I do notice a change in her dad, he seems to be developing fangs. MIL is a true believer in the Authority of the Org. and feels it's her calling to get everyone in. I am preventing her from fullfilling her fantacy. I believe my wants has a need to get the approval of her mother in all things and is trying to pacify her as best she can, while attending meetings from time to time while at the same time trying to keep peace with me. She is in a tough spot but so am I.