While I a not gay, I understand the concept of "in the closet." I lived this for years as a witness knowing fully TTATT.
I also know gay ex witneses, and one is a very special friend of me and my family. The fact that individuals are born gay was one of the things that took me over the top when I was figuring out if religion was right for me.
How could god allow individuals to be gay and not allow these same people into his fold? This was the question that I struggled with and finially came to the conclusion that god does not matter.
I hope you connect with the best support system. Good luck. If you are in NYC and have a bottle of wine, look me up and we can talk.