I remember when I broke one of my molar teeth last year. I had an intense pain when I bit on food but was reluctant to go to a dentist. After weeks of intense pain, I finally agreed to go to a dental surgeon. In my visit, I was put under sedation, both with injections and gas. Even so, I could feel the surgeon break my tooth. I remember the sound (a muted thud) of him disengaging remnants of my tooth from my jaw bone.
Was it thrilling, actually yes! I am not accustomed to drugs, and I was especially thrilled with the feeling of the gas. I was amazed that someone was pulling my tooth one fragment at a time and the only thing I felt was the thud of the nerve separating from my jaw.
While thrilling and memorable, I never want to repeat this experience. I feel the same related to disengaging from this fucking religion. It is not an experience I want to repeat.