Its been 3 years since I have stopped going to meetings, and about 7 since I figured out it was all BS.
I still can't deal with not only losing 4 decades +, but knowing that my best years are all behind and that death is really the end.
On top of that, I am loosing what is most important in the world to me other than my 2 kids.
On top of that, decades of "doing the least you need to do to just get by, while working for the lord" is a habit really hard to break.
I am not coping well at all.