Vintage, I don't mind your words at all. Elders do tend to turn needed consultation into a club. I have no experience with Elders abusing the rules on divorce, but I do not doubt your experience either. Mom in her intro essay to Separate Identity 2 wrote about Watchtower secretiveness:
"An article published in the June 1, 1997, Watchtower said: “True religion in no way practices secretiveness. Worshipers of the true God have been instructed not to hide their identity or to obscure their purpose as Jehovah’s Witnesses. The early disciples of Jesus filled Jerusalem with their teaching. They were out in the open as to their beliefs and activity. The same is true of Jehovah’s Witnesses today.” [Italics are mine.] The same is not always true of Jehovah’s Witnesses today, nor has it been true since the Rutherford era. While their doctrine and practices are easily found in their literature, they withhold historical material. I cannot explain why. I believe an accurately told history of the Watch Tower movement benefits all of the descendant religions.
One of our prepublication readers suggested that Watchtower Society reluctance to open its archives derives from a fear of misrepresentation. Internal matters, policies for church headquarters staff and similar matters generate documents not generally circulated by any religion, though few hold them as secrets. Carolyn Wah, a Watchtower attorney, tried to refute the commonly made observation that the Watchtower is secretive and uncooperative, writing: “As an active Witness for over twenty years, I was initially puzzled by comments indicating that professional researchers had found it difficult to gather information about Jehovah’s Witnesses. Information about the Witnesses is, in fact, voluminous, detailed, and readily accessible. The Watchtower and Awake! magazines have been published ... for many decades and are regularly distributed ... .”[1] She blamed researchers for not consulting available material, quoting Rodney Stark and Laurence Iannaccone’s 1997 article found in Journal of Contemporary Religion which noted lack of serious and thorough research into Jehovah’s Witnesses. Though that situation is slowly improving, we obviously concur with Stark and Iannaccone. Wah is absolutely correct when she suggests that academic researchers should do their homework. Witness doctrine is not secret. It is clearly explained in Watchtower publications. Much of current congregation practice and social structure is elaborated in easily accessible Watchtower publications. "
This continues with examples of Watchtower secretiveness. That a textbook is kept secret is an alien concept to me. No, I don't find offence in anything you've written. Suggesting he return to the Watchtower was not meant seriously.
[1] C. R. Wah: An Introduction to Research and Analysis of Jehovah’s Witnesses: A View from the Watchtower, Review of Religious Research, December 2001, pages 161-174. Among the resources she recommended were two of Firpo Carr’s books, poorly written, neither particularly helpful, and sometimes inaccurate.