Wakanda

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Posts by Wakanda

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  7

  Scared Kids with cognitive dissonance

  by Wakanda in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  this is not about sexual child abuse, and i apologize if i put it under the wrong subject area.

  stream of consciousness writing: .

  i was just thinking about how before i became more of an uber dub in my teen years i was a very frightened child.

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  Wakanda

  Thanks for the support. It meant so much as my post made me feel so vulnerable. x
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  7

  Scared Kids with cognitive dissonance

  by Wakanda in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  this is not about sexual child abuse, and i apologize if i put it under the wrong subject area.

  stream of consciousness writing: .

  i was just thinking about how before i became more of an uber dub in my teen years i was a very frightened child.

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  Wakanda

  This is not about Sexual Child Abuse, and I apologize if I put it under the wrong subject area.

  Stream of consciousness writing:

  I was just thinking about how before I became more of an uber dub in my teen years I was a very frightened child. Even at maybe 9 or 10 I was afraid of later somehow becoming pregnant and getting kicked out on the street. It seemed like wt studies back then mentioned the plague of teen pregnancy every other week. I knew I was safe in the wt, if I followed all their rules, because my parents had to follow their rules. This, however, was not a conscious thought. My parents did not help me feel safe. My parents would talk about how loving they were because of a test in Victorian times where babies were not loved and they died. That has got to be abusive in itself. WTF? You are alive, hence loved enough. Also, my parents spoke of how loving they were because I have a roof over my head and food. Then they would ask for their hug. Their hug??? (Narcissistic Family, I know) I remember looking at a parent putting his arm around his daughter at the meeting and just feeling so empty and ill inside. There was no relative of mine anywhere not in this sick cult, and they were not even close. The cult makes even families that are totally in, less close. There were and are popularity contests among my relatives. So effing sick. It is almost like getting trauma based mind control, although that is such a controversial subject. No wonder I would get sick at conventions as a kid, my body was screaming at me. But I was taught to ignore my body, to the extent of not even getting enough exercise, bodily training scripture misinterpreted. BTW, my awakening co-insided with getting more in touch with my body.
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  20

  I watched some of the Regional Assembly

  by Sour Grapes in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i watched about 2 hours of the regional assembly and these are my thoughts.

  the video's and songs did stir my good memories of when i was a jdub elder and very happy in the religion.

  i can see how these two things would make it difficult to leave the borg because of the emotional buy-in.. now getting into the talks, the cults true colors show and i wonder how in the hell was i a part of that for over 40 years.

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  Wakanda

  I was just thinking about this LV101. I was wondering how new people even come in?! Well, the one I have talked to in the last year said it took him years, and he was just so slow. Then it dawned on me Mellinially, ha ha, that he was brainwashed years ago not to look at any 'apostate' or negative info about JWs. Then he finally got completely sucked in.

  Also, I saw tears forming from those damned videos. Dammit.
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  17

  There is Important Dutch News: majority in Dutch Parliament require an investigation into child abuse within JWs

  by AndersonsInfo in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  there is important dutch news: majority in dutch parliament require an investigation into child abuse within jwshttp://translate.google.com/translate?u=https://www.rtlnieuws.nl/nederland/politiek/tweede-kamer-eist-onafhankelijk-onderzoek-naar-misbruik-jehovahs-getuigen&hl=en&langpair=auto%7cen&tbb=1&ie=utf-8.

  the lower house requires independent investigation into abuse of jehovah's witnesses .

  june 28, 2018 18:56 .

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  Wakanda

  bttt
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  18

  So, I did a thing ... Shunned VIDcast #1 - Secrets - Jehovah's Witnesses and Cult Life

  by dubstepped in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  alright, many of you know me from the this jw life and shunned podcasts along with my inane ramblings on here.

  i just made my first video and put myself out there on youtube along with my podcast episodes that are on there now.

  i put my podcast audio up on there as videos and new people are subscribing and finding it through that.

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  Wakanda

  jump in with my own low quality and lowered expectations, lol.

  Ha! yeah, with a voice changer and a black screen, or smurf (no!), or IDK yet...

  -Paranoid Wakanda
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  29

  Watchtower Spies and Secret Agents

  by TerryWalstrom in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  i'm posting this link:http://jwdivorces.bravehost.com/spies.htmlonce you start reading it you won't be able to stop.fascinating and well-documented citations which give credibility to the belief that such a sneaky, underhanded, and often illegal practice has been secretly promoted for decades by watchtower society world headquarters..

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  Wakanda

  Faded, Thanks for pointing that out; it may help me notice in the future. Disappointing. aargh
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  7

  So lonely and isolated.

  by CampcO0perate in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  reading some post on here today has me wonder ing if there is some others out there that understands the duplicet fickle person i am on the inside.

  i was brought to the kingdom hall 3-4 times a week.

  to this day i have an aversion totuesdays.

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  Wakanda

  Thanks for sharing Camp. Listen to PE; he's insightful. IDK what else to say except I understand low confidence/ low self-esteem.
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  20

  Begining of freedom???

  by JW-AWAKED J17 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hello every body!.

  it's my thirst time here.

  i'm verry glad to tell you my resignation as an elder in my local congregation.

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  Wakanda

  Welcome! You are already DFed! O.k. then! Enjoy!
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  114

  The biggest news of the year for Mr. and Mrs. Totally ADD

  by Still Totally ADD in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is bigger than christmas and birthdays wrap into one.

  thanks to the australian royal commission our youngest son has woke up.

  we received a e-mail from him tonight where he apologized to us for shunning us all these years, how bad he felt for doing this.

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  Wakanda

  Happy happy happy! Congrats!
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  29

  Watchtower Spies and Secret Agents

  by TerryWalstrom in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  i'm posting this link:http://jwdivorces.bravehost.com/spies.htmlonce you start reading it you won't be able to stop.fascinating and well-documented citations which give credibility to the belief that such a sneaky, underhanded, and often illegal practice has been secretly promoted for decades by watchtower society world headquarters..

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  Wakanda

  I've read so much eye-opening stuff about wt while in private/incognito mode that contributes to my total paranoia while on-line. But, then I forget when and where I read it, and think I'm going nuts more nuts.

  Thanks Terry, for reminding me where some of my reasons for being so vague. I read some pages from that site a couple years ago! chilling.

  I still think I"m not paranoid enough because, well, I'm not going to give them ideas. PM me if you want to know what I'm thinking.

  Uggh. Damn. PIMOs are so caught between a rock and a hard place.