You've got it right on the family relations part. That's the reason for a slow fade. Ease into it.
My fade ended up being fast. It was hurried along by some determined work in applying to jobs out of state. When I got one that was acceptable, we moved and immediately completely faded...we haven't even moved our cards yet...I don't know if we ever will. Family are clueless, or if they do have a clue, they don't let on.
Eventually, though, I know the question will come up. At this point, I'm ready to just be straightforward and blunt with them.