dear long gone, yes we have been warped by this cult. We try. We keep trying, but somehow the pieces just won;t fit together. We get out, but they are still in there, whispering things that undermine all we could be. All our ideas about 'good', 'bad', 'right', wrong'. All the ways we look at life, the ways we come at problems, they have interrupted. When we try to build afresh it seems distant, odd, unfamiliar. We want to trust something, but what we knew, everything we knew is fake, false, a dark mirage. Everything we now are seeing has been colored by this dark mirage, keeping us from seeing the healing that is there. We also often don't have to funds to get the care we so desperately need. So, I offer this. Breathe. See the beauty and wonder around you. They have not won. You are now free, use it. Support your daughter. Keep helping yourself. Read. Build positive relationships. Do everything they made you fear. It may be what you need. Try hypnotherapy. Try qi gong or ti chi.Join a church or social group.. Find a cause.Find a hobby.Give yourself time.As to the past, well you can't do anything about that, all the power is in this present.Use it. Seize it. Allow the pain. Learn from it. Be wise. I am not going to say tomorrow is going to be better. It might be bloody awful, but it is going to be your tomorrow, your choices. Fight for it,cherish it One day you will look back and say look what I did, and you will be proud.