Posts by notalone

24

Need input: elders showed up at our door today

by de-opresso-liber in

so as i announced last week, my wife and i started our fade and i sent in a letter to our body that i was stepping down and cited the arc as the reason and insisted that we not be bothered.

my wife told a few relatives in person that we weren't going to attend meetings any longer (immediate shunning occurred, the new videos must be effective) and that what we found with the arc shocked us etc etc.

i have an inside track on how this is all going down by an awake elder on the body, co told them to handle the matter quickly.

notalone

I guess the question is are you ready to be completely shut off or do you think by being quiet you may actually benefit someone.If you want everyone to get this information do this quickly before they get cautious.The reaction will be quick and complete shunning. You will be gossiped about for some time and friends and family will be repeatedly questioned about you. People will also become suspicious of anyone trying to defend you. If you keep up with the slow fade you will still have those that won't talk to you but you may be able to slowly reason with some.If you have older ones that you don't want to upset at this time go for the slow. I bit of advice about going slow- be proud! You have nothing to be ashamed about. You don't have to make a full accounting to them just because they ask..If you see someone in the store walk right up and ask them about service, a meeting or a recent assembly. Get them talking- they like that. If they ask where you are going simply say you are going through something and you don't want to share that information with them at that time.

10

Depression, Anger and Anxiety

by Sorry in

for the last few months, i feel like i've been going through the 5 stages of grief.

lately, it's been happening simultaneously.

in my other posts, i've expressed anger at my family and congregation for their thoughtless ways.

notalone

I know this may sound hokey, and I don't want to sound weird, but if you are of limited funds, I have a few things that have worked for my family. First, find some support group or maybe a interfaith group.Secondly, for anxiety try 400 mg inositol.It is great for calming down without making you sleepy. You can put the powder directly into water for a quick reaction. The bach flower remedies rock rose ( for panic and nightmares) and cherry plum ( for suicidal thoughts) can take the edge off. I am not by any means suggesting that you not get professional help, in fact I highly recommend it.Most communities have some way you can get help if you are low income, but the wait can be quite long.Take this time to educate yourself on mental health and the effects that mind control and co-dependency have on our reactions.

12

1 Step Forward and 3 Steps Back: Trying to Get My Mom to See 'The Light' (Oh the Irony!)

by Sorry in

recently, my mother's been hounding me to do personal study (i think she's slowly realizing i'm becoming disillusioned with the organization and is trying to reign me back in).

i don't know what made me do this, but i decided to test the waters by challenging 'new light'.

she asked me what i learned in personal study, so i brought up organ transplants and the wt flip floppy stance on them (thanks jwfacts!).

notalone

Dear, no need to be Sorry, if you would like to get your family thinking,this is something that helped my family. Be preemptive about your 'need for personal study'. My husband began to read the interlinear and look up the meaning of the Hebrew and Greek and how they are translated. He looked up the parasia and syntelia and shared what he was learning. This spurred me on I researched all the different words translated as sin. we also hit the beorean pickets site. We refereed to old magazines pre 1990's and the interlinear and Strong's concordance. We brought out things that were deep and just slightly off, not outright wrong. Most people just smiled and ignored us, witnesses really don't like to study, but a few were impressed and really enjoyed what we wee saying. These will often come too us if they are having difficulty understanding some new teaching.We direct them to scriptures but don't give them the answers. This is a slow process but in the end, they will decide what to believe.

27

So I woke up and Trump was president

by notalone in

so i live in the u.s. i had family that lived in germany when hitler came to power.

i had family that was in london during the blitz.

being raised as a witness i was obsessed with everything having to do with the rise of the nazis.

notalone

Well, I've read all your posts. Thank you for giving me a window into the mind of society. Mrs.Flipper I really appreciated your thoughts. At this point the deed is done. I have to make decisions for my life based on what I am really facing. I am not going to react to hopes or imagined attacks. I will try to live my life with kindness and integrity to all I meet,even Muslims. I am not prone to fear or hate and I am not inclined to try and lump individuals into a group with negative attributes.So I will welcome this day for the beauty and wonder that it brings. When difficulties come I will try and not react, but make calm decisions. I do not know Trump and I will never meet him. If his policies bring harm to others I will do my best to support the weak. In the end I have to live with the decisions I make and others must do the same. May we all reach the end of our lives proud of the people we were.

27

So I woke up and Trump was president

by notalone in

so i live in the u.s. i had family that lived in germany when hitler came to power.

i had family that was in london during the blitz.

being raised as a witness i was obsessed with everything having to do with the rise of the nazis.

notalone

O.K. So I live in the U.S. I had family that lived in Germany when Hitler came to power. I had family that was in London during the Blitz. Being raised as a witness I was obsessed with everything having to do with the rise of the Nazis. I had thought man had learned great lessons from this time.I thought man was now more educated, more enlightened. So what happened? I understand the anger at politicians but, honestly most of my life I was always on the outside looking in. What am I missing? I mean I was raised in a cult. I believed many things that from the outside looked ridiculous. Do I live in a country where so many are also under some weird mind control, or do their personal problems or ideals outweigh all else,or are people so distanced from others that they just don't care about their well-being ? Today, I am feeling dazed and a little numb. I know evil exists and is more common then we want to think but, I have met so many kind people since I left. What I've been personally experiencing seems so different from what has happened here. I am not debating ideas about which style of governing is best, I am just talking about humanity, kindness and respect..

16

I want to be a JW but they seem to hate me? Help!

by Alostpuppydog in

just going to give a little background about myself and then bring anyone who is reading this up to speed with where i am today:.

growing up in a family that was not aware of jehovah's witnesses at all, as none of my family members have had a run-in with them other than my parents, my entire life has been a mess ever since we met them.

the witnesses first came to my door when i was 12 and my dad started bringing me to meetings and we even lived with a witness family for a month when we were both homeless due to my parent's divorce.

notalone

Dearest Lost Puppy, My family is also bi-polar, OCD with anxiety disorders. We were also multi-generation JW's. Though the idea's of living a moral life with those who support you as a community sound wonderful. That is not what is actually practiced. There are some sincere ones but, the overwhelming schedules and guilt really play havoc on those who are more limited on what they can handle. Don't go back. Get professional assistance.Read self help books. Eat healthy foods with natural fats ( this is very important for the brain to function). Go to bed early, as early as needed so that you wake up well rested. For some who are affected by the seasons it could be 10 or 11 hours, especially if you have been under stress. Spend time in sunlight and maybe take extra vitamin D in the morning. After you feel a little more stable join a group that shares an interest ( for example: swimming,pottery, cos-play).

20

Is this a sign then, should I lol?

by Alostpuppydog in

so the elder (who was my teacher) has informed the rest of the congregation and has now revolked my enterance into their or any hall.

and so now they are looking into getting a restraining order and have called new york and that's what they have decided to do.

just because i was made to feel so depressed and hated that i was thinking of suicide.

notalone

I know your heart is breaking and you feel there is nothing left but something extreme.Take a deep breath. This is a beautiful day and you have been shown a deep truth about those around you. Accept it as the gift it is.You now can make choices you mat not have been able to make before. If the deep dark feelings become all consuming go to a hospital. Tell them your thoughts. This may sound scary, but it will help to get support and a perspective that those now around you aren't giving you. They could also get you in touch with social services that my help.As for not being allowed back to the hall, the same threat was given to our family. We were shocked but looking back it removed any temptation to go back. As to the restraining order-YEAH!!! That means you don't have to worry about ones stopping by with guilt trips and threats. Get a Lawyer! You will be given the opportunity to defend yourself before it is extended for the usual maximum of a year. If you have been hospitalized and received treatment this can be used as a good defense..They only last usually a year. after that there would have to be brought forward reasons why the threat is believed to be continuing. The point is this day has it's own beauty, try and see it. Think don't react and rely on professionals and their advice. In five years you will look back on this as your story that brought you to real truth.You have our love.

26

Help with fading, please...

by longgone in

i just left about six months ago and i'm going through the emotional whirlwind that comes with it.

i would really appreciate some advice on how to keep this fade from turning into my being disfellowshipped.

i'm another born in, third generation.

notalone

Thank you for sharing so much of what you are facing.You are not alone. There are many of us. Last year I sent an email to all the elders in our congregation stating that due to my family's mental condition, and so to make sure we understand everything, that all future communication be only through letters or email, that there would be no personal interactions. This spring two elders showed up at our door and attempted to enter our home. We immediately contacted our lawyer that sent cease and desist letters through registered mail including a requirement not to discuss us with anyone. We were then told by a friend that they contacted bethel and were told to leave us alone. In your case I would included all persons that have 'stalked' you. They will spread rumors about you, but these were not really your friends anyway. Reach out to people who accept and value the person you are.

26

Help with fading, please...

by longgone in

i just left about six months ago and i'm going through the emotional whirlwind that comes with it.

i would really appreciate some advice on how to keep this fade from turning into my being disfellowshipped.

i'm another born in, third generation.

notalone

I am also a born in 4th gen close to 50. Stay away from the meetings, you have been programmed to return. Things will be said that will only heighten your imposed guilt and open you to their control. I understand your concern for your father, but you also mentioned a sister. One of the big traps is there is always someone who will be upset with you for not behaving the way they want you to. You can't please all of the people all of the time. As any witness understands those who don't love truth will fight against you.

You sound like someone who values truth. Does you father value truth and instill that love in you? Honor him by remaining a person of integrity. You don't have to hit them with everything you have learned or every decision you make. This is sadly another programing tool to control us. As they themselves bring out, they do not tell a new study everything at once but they do it when they are ready. So follow this example and only say what will be beneficial for them. This is something I do. There is a site called Borean Pickets they discuss recent meetings and point out inconsistencies. I also follow any new announcements on this site. I then proactively slip this into conversations and use terminology that makes JW's feel safe. Example: "It's just like they said in morning worship the other day... You know what was brought out in the convention this summer... " I made a point that I am having trouble getting out right now but this is giving me the opportunity for 'deepening' my personal study with an interlinear and looking at the Hebrew and Greek. Go on and on about words and definitions. Guess what, most witnesses are not scholars so they will just tune you out. I did in depth research on the words translated as sin.and shared it with everyone, they just smile and nod. But the best advice I can give is keep proving to yourself this is not the truth. Look up everything and keep records so that you can look back and see what you have accomplished. I have several folders and periodically opening them and just scanning them strengthens my resolve.

53

Did anyone vote yet?

by NewYork44M in

jw
friends

i voted today in nyc.

a well organized process.

very busy and most of the people voting were african american.

notalone

First in 100 years to vote. We didn't know if we were quite ready to take that step but, we really felt it was a moral obligation.Afterwards we were quite let down. The heavens didn't open up. Locusts didn't pour out from some deep crevice of the earth, and no marks appeared for the angels to see that we were henceforth condemned to eternal destruction. All I got was a sticker.