Posts by happysunshine

14

Steve Hassan - "Exit counselor"

by happysunshine in

jw
friends

i just finished his book "combatting cult mind control", and was very inspired.

he is the world's premiere "exit counselor", or someone who helps others get out of destructive groups.

his web site here:.

Steve Hassan - "Exit counselor"

by happysunshine in

jw
friends

i just finished his book "combatting cult mind control", and was very inspired.

he is the world's premiere "exit counselor", or someone who helps others get out of destructive groups.

his web site here:.

Actually, I think most of the book info could be used pretty much as is. If you choose to go that route, it just requires a bit of retooling. So (1)people raised in the group could be dealt with as a long term member. And (2) rather than use the "former identity" (as I believe Steve refers to it - basically what the person was like before joining), one could use an alternative identity, perhaps an idealized mishmash of what the person could be like if they hadn't been in that group. Obviously knowing how they tick, what they like/dislike, have potential for, etc., will help a lot.

Of course, this strikes me as a tremendous challenge, and maybe best looked at as a long-term, hit/miss kind of thing. But then again, the truth is powerful.

I was kind of hoping there would be some exit counselors on this site who could give me some new ideas.

14

Steve Hassan - "Exit counselor"

by happysunshine in

jw
friends

i just finished his book "combatting cult mind control", and was very inspired.

he is the world's premiere "exit counselor", or someone who helps others get out of destructive groups.

his web site here:.

happysunshine

I just finished his book "Combatting Cult Mind Control", and was very inspired. He is the world's premiere "exit counselor", or someone who helps others get out of destructive groups. His web site here:

http://www.freedomofmind.com/

An interesting video of him training health professionals is here:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5351483270625598640

Anyway, I was wanting to use some of his techniques to try and talk with my family. While there is a lot I can use, one challenge I have is that the approach he outlines in the book (and subsequent examples) are for people who joined up into these groups. In the case of my brother and sister, they were born into this group, so I'm wondering how to apply some of Hassan's points, for example "accessing the pre-cult identity". Also, the task seems a bit overwhelming, as I'm the only one who's not in the cult. Any ideas?

Anyway, thanks a ton for any help!

17

Please help me make a list of reasons why serious JWs can't...

by happysunshine in

jw
friends

...have a good relationship with family members that leave.. i've posted about my family before, but this is going to be it.

and sorry in advance if i ramble or am unclear, that often happens when deal with this painful topic.. i want to make some clarity.

i am mostly sure that when i ultimately present them with the facts, and the reality, of how much what they are doing is damaging our lives, they will take a defensive position.

happysunshine

jgnat- I admire the direction you are taking with things.

But to be honest, I don't know if I have the strength to do that. I suffered a lot growing up. I have a new life now, in every way made completely separate from them since 10 years ago. I have a lot of responsibilities now with my new family and career. I believe part of the reason I made it this far is because I knew when to take a step back.

I am worried about losing my mental peace if I take the kind of open arms approach I believe you are suggesting, because chances are they will do something hurtful to me based on WTS training. I am extremely upset about the whole thing. I have had an overall benevolent approach to the whole issue up until 5 years ago. I made limited ventures into their world, with mixed results, but eventually they made the WTS a major issue. It was very uncomfortable, because we really liked each other, and we all saw the WTS issue coming, and it was like waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was struggling so hard to improve my life, and I could only take so much shit from them.

Since 5 years ago, I have taken a much more standoffish approach. Recently, I make no efforts to contact them. Obviously, it weighs very heavy on my mind, particularly with recent developments in my life. But a recent e-mail I got had a nasty undertone to it that made me very upset, considering recent events in our family.

Now, I would just like to clear things up, and move on emotionally and socially in my life. I need to do this for several reasons. I will be fair about it, but I will say what I feel needs to be said, and I will say it very clearly. And I will make it clear to anyone else who may be involved. Therefore the request in my original post for clear outline of 'reasons'. They say whatever they want to me for years, and I am the one who has to carry the burden and play diplomat. Well, now I feel it would be healthy to clear that up.

Again, I think what you are doing is great. And I am curious about it. I just don't think its safe for me to do that.

Terry's comments made me think about how many people don't have to have the same world view to have intimacy, but do need to be comfortable with the same paradigm of communication.

17

Please help me make a list of reasons why serious JWs can't...

by happysunshine in

jw
friends

...have a good relationship with family members that leave.. i've posted about my family before, but this is going to be it.

and sorry in advance if i ramble or am unclear, that often happens when deal with this painful topic.. i want to make some clarity.

i am mostly sure that when i ultimately present them with the facts, and the reality, of how much what they are doing is damaging our lives, they will take a defensive position.

happysunshine

Ok, so there's a couple of points. Are there any WT quotes or such that paint a clear picture for people with no real knowledge of what JWs believe?

thanks again

17

Please help me make a list of reasons why serious JWs can't...

by happysunshine in

jw
friends

...have a good relationship with family members that leave.. i've posted about my family before, but this is going to be it.

and sorry in advance if i ramble or am unclear, that often happens when deal with this painful topic.. i want to make some clarity.

i am mostly sure that when i ultimately present them with the facts, and the reality, of how much what they are doing is damaging our lives, they will take a defensive position.

happysunshine

I guess I'm getting at the idea of how, in reality, my family won't have a relationship with me. But if pressed by extended relatives or the public, they will claim with a big smile that they are just like any other family and things are fine and that the WTS does not break up families.

Obviously we know this is lying. But I'm asking for help to make a list to explain the reality clearly to people who are interested, and even to explain it clearly to my family when sparks fly and its time to clarify our actual relationship.

19

Computer Game Recommendations

by Uzzah in

okay, i used to be the guy with all the latest gadgets in fact i was the first bethelite i knew to get a personal internet account and the first to upgrade to a 14.4 modem (dating myself eh!!).

but for the past couple of years i haven't upgraded my home pc.

it has been primarily for my home based businesses (email, word, excel and powerpoint type stuff and casual browsing) so my faithful p2, 10 gig hard drive and cd reader (only) has been sufficient, but damn it i want to be able to do more!

happysunshine

Uzzah, good job on the new PC! I also built a gaming rig 2 years ago - lots of fun. Here's a couple of great websites:

http://forums.anandtech.com/default.aspx

http://www.gamespot.com/pc/index.html

The first is for PC tech help. The second is for games, and I find their reviews to be pretty on target.

If you liked Civ I, you'll probably like Civ IV, as they took the best parts of all the Civs for IV. And Myst series have a lot in common with the Syberia games and a new game called Paradise, by the same creator. Oblivion is excellent, although I am not much of a RPG fan anymore.

Somehow, I find myself only playing Battlefield 2 these days. It is a shooter, but really well done. You can play with up to 64 other players online in the same game.

Anyway, you can check the second link for the type of game you may like. Good luck.

17

Please help me make a list of reasons why serious JWs can't...

by happysunshine in

jw
friends

...have a good relationship with family members that leave.. i've posted about my family before, but this is going to be it.

and sorry in advance if i ramble or am unclear, that often happens when deal with this painful topic.. i want to make some clarity.

i am mostly sure that when i ultimately present them with the facts, and the reality, of how much what they are doing is damaging our lives, they will take a defensive position.

happysunshine

Sorry for the confusion. AK-Jeff, I mean the former, as in reasons the WTS will give a current member to NOT have a good relationship with a former member.

17

Please help me make a list of reasons why serious JWs can't...

by happysunshine in

jw
friends

...have a good relationship with family members that leave.. i've posted about my family before, but this is going to be it.

and sorry in advance if i ramble or am unclear, that often happens when deal with this painful topic.. i want to make some clarity.

i am mostly sure that when i ultimately present them with the facts, and the reality, of how much what they are doing is damaging our lives, they will take a defensive position.

happysunshine

...have a good relationship with family members that leave.

I've posted about my family before, but this is going to be it. And sorry in advance if I ramble or am unclear, that often happens when deal with this painful topic.

I want to make some clarity. I am mostly sure that when I ultimately present them with the facts, and the reality, of how much what they are doing is damaging our lives, they will take a defensive position. So be it. I am tired, and I can't keep open the possibility of us all getting back together again. I want to make some very clear distinctions, and show them that it is their personal choices (to support the WTS) that are separating us as a family and causing damage.

So, if anyone could help me to compile a brief bullet list of reasons why serious JWs can't have a good relationship with non-believing family members, it would help me a lot. I know we know the reasons, but when I speak with them all it will help to have a clear list to keep me on track. References to point to principles are good.

I feel like this will be it. You could call it an ultimatum, but I call it clarifying what already exists. This will give me some degree of closure and peace of mind and the ability to get on with my life. I will never speak with them again after this.

Thanks for your help.

7

Vicky Boer case (question)

by happysunshine in

jw
friends

i heard that the case was lost, and the wts won a huge counter suit?!?

can anyone give me the low down on how this worked, and the details, as i find it hard to believe.

happysunshine

Isn't there an appeal process available? Or something? This can't be the end. Was there something weighing in the WTS' favour?