Please help me make a list of reasons why serious JWs can't...

by happysunshine 17 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  happysunshine

  ...have a good relationship with family members that leave.

  I've posted about my family before, but this is going to be it. And sorry in advance if I ramble or am unclear, that often happens when deal with this painful topic.

  I want to make some clarity. I am mostly sure that when I ultimately present them with the facts, and the reality, of how much what they are doing is damaging our lives, they will take a defensive position. So be it. I am tired, and I can't keep open the possibility of us all getting back together again. I want to make some very clear distinctions, and show them that it is their personal choices (to support the WTS) that are separating us as a family and causing damage.

  So, if anyone could help me to compile a brief bullet list of reasons why serious JWs can't have a good relationship with non-believing family members, it would help me a lot. I know we know the reasons, but when I speak with them all it will help to have a clear list to keep me on track. References to point to principles are good.

  I feel like this will be it. You could call it an ultimatum, but I call it clarifying what already exists. This will give me some degree of closure and peace of mind and the ability to get on with my life. I will never speak with them again after this.

  Thanks for your help.
• 

  candidlynuts

  gonna bump this up so maybe you'll get some responses.

  i found a topic about shunning in the "best of" series but i dont know if it has any points your looking for.

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/75711/1.ashx
• 

  AK - Jeff

  I am a bit unclear on what you want to list - DO you want to list the reason they say they can't have a relationship with those who leave? Or are you looking to discredit those Watchtower reasons in your discussion with them.?

  Just a little confused how you want to use the info and precisely what info you seek to make a 'bullet list' of.

  Jeff
• 

  happysunshine

  Sorry for the confusion. AK-Jeff, I mean the former, as in reasons the WTS will give a current member to NOT have a good relationship with a former member.
• 

  garybuss

  The Witnesses threatened me and one told me they don't like me . . . never did. One Jehovah's Witness relative told me I represent everything in the world that he hates.
  They don't like me and they hate me . . . that's a good enough reason to shun anybody. Works for me.
  
  
• 

  happysunshine

  I guess I'm getting at the idea of how, in reality, my family won't have a relationship with me. But if pressed by extended relatives or the public, they will claim with a big smile that they are just like any other family and things are fine and that the WTS does not break up families.

  Obviously we know this is lying. But I'm asking for help to make a list to explain the reality clearly to people who are interested, and even to explain it clearly to my family when sparks fly and its time to clarify our actual relationship.
• 

  blondie

  If our family is saying they are associating with you and you say not, you have to be specific.

  Hypothetically,

  1) Your sister gets married, everyone is invited but you (including non-JW relatives and friends)

  2) Your family has a "family" dinner and you aren't invited.

  3) Your mother has a shopping day with your sisters, but you aren't invited

  4) Your grandmother dies but no on in your immediate JW family calls, a non-JW aunt happens to call or you read it in the obituaries.

  5) Your father has a heart attack; no one calls you.

  Blondie
• 

  unique1

  They usually use 1 Cor. 9-13

  9

  In my letter I wrote YOU to quit mixing in company with fornicators, 10 not [meaning] entirely with the fornicators of this world or the greedy persons and extortioners or idolaters. Otherwise, YOU would actually have to get out of the world. 11 But now I am writing YOU to quit mixing in company with anyone called a brother that is a fornicator or a greedy person or an idolater or a reviler or a drunkard or an extortioner, not even eating with such a man. 12 For what do I have to do with judging those outside? Do YOU not judge those inside, 13 while God judges those outside? "Remove the wicked [man] from among yourselves."

  Notice it says any CALLED A BROTHER. If you disassociate yourself, you are no longer a brother and should be treated as a worldly person. If you are disfellowshipped, again you are no longer considered a brother.

  Titus 3:

  10

  As for a man that promotes a sect, reject him after a first and a second admonition; 11 knowing that such a man has been turned out of the way and is sinning, he being self-condemned.

  Are you promoting a sect? No, so this does not apply.

  They may also use this scripture but notice that is says NOTHING that suggests shunning.

  1 John 2: 18

  Young children, it is the last hour, and, just as YOU have heard that antichrist is coming, even now there have come to be many antichrists; from which fact we gain the knowledge that it is the last hour. 19 They went out from us, but they were not of our sort; for if they had been of our sort, they would have remained with us. But [they went out] that it might be shown up that not all are of our sort. 20 And YOU have an anointing from the holy one; all of YOU have knowledge. 21 I write YOU, not because YOU do not know the truth, but because YOU know it, and because no lie originates with the truth.
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  happysunshine

  Ok, so there's a couple of points. Are there any WT quotes or such that paint a clear picture for people with no real knowledge of what JWs believe?

  thanks again
• 

  jgnat

  Might I suggest a change to your strategy? How about listing all the ADVANTAGES of having a relationship with you? Then, instead of arguing DON'T SHUN (double negative), you'll be arguing DO LOVE (double positive). Just an idea.