well as you know unless you are an elders son or daughter generally jw's don't lift a finger to help all those ones feeling downtrodden and lonely.
i felt like this from july 1994 to march 2000. i prayed to jehovah constantly for help to ease the loneliness, i begged the elders and even others.
for a long time the only ones who would talk to me where the elderly ones(who i miss now since i left) i cried every night and felt after five years of being at meetings and feeling invisable (even though i was an auxillary pioneer) i decided that my life was worth fighting for.
well thanks Iching, funny but I'll be moving to mongolia with my new boyfriend (Not married to him though, I don't need to marry him to make our relationship "Real and proper", Mongolia next to china and russia, you know much about it Iching????
Depression is a real illness, much of which is clinical but much of which is man-made.
hugs to all my friends
Naomi
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
well as you know unless you are an elders son or daughter generally jw's don't lift a finger to help all those ones feeling downtrodden and lonely.
i felt like this from july 1994 to march 2000. i prayed to jehovah constantly for help to ease the loneliness, i begged the elders and even others.
for a long time the only ones who would talk to me where the elderly ones(who i miss now since i left) i cried every night and felt after five years of being at meetings and feeling invisable (even though i was an auxillary pioneer) i decided that my life was worth fighting for.
I like your story, it is good, you've been through alot, and I respect you for that. I think and this is only my opinion, that noone ever truly gets over the trauma of JW organisation, its a long fight every day, not to see the news and see prophecy but I got over it and feel that in this new relationship, and been able to enjoy things without feeling wicked is a step forward.
I'm in the forum chatroom now, pop in and have a chat with me
kisses and hugs(sisterly ones)
Naomi
well as you know unless you are an elders son or daughter generally jw's don't lift a finger to help all those ones feeling downtrodden and lonely.
i felt like this from july 1994 to march 2000. i prayed to jehovah constantly for help to ease the loneliness, i begged the elders and even others.
for a long time the only ones who would talk to me where the elderly ones(who i miss now since i left) i cried every night and felt after five years of being at meetings and feeling invisable (even though i was an auxillary pioneer) i decided that my life was worth fighting for.
I don't mind you chiming in, gopher.
What i mean is, that i believe in the the bible and the things in it, if i could go to meetings now and feel ok, then I would but I get a panic attack and feel miserable whenever I go, I've already made my mind up to leave and whaen i make a discision I keep to it. I got over it a while ago now and feel ok with the path I have chosen, I don't pray anymore. The reason for this thread is to help others who are feeling the way I felt for a a couple of years. I have alot of head knowledge about the JW's but I chose not to tear them apart afterall I left them. I think that a simple reapect for a person to believe in what they want is require. On this site we should not be like them subbornly trying to make anyone see things our way.
THIS is not a dig at you gopher, but sometimes saying something about yourself and your own situation says more (please don't post apoint of view, post your story)
Kisses to redHW, eyes, and you gopher
well as you know unless you are an elders son or daughter generally jw's don't lift a finger to help all those ones feeling downtrodden and lonely.
i felt like this from july 1994 to march 2000. i prayed to jehovah constantly for help to ease the loneliness, i begged the elders and even others.
for a long time the only ones who would talk to me where the elderly ones(who i miss now since i left) i cried every night and felt after five years of being at meetings and feeling invisable (even though i was an auxillary pioneer) i decided that my life was worth fighting for.
Thanx eyes,
I just want to seek out those who left from depression and loneliness, you should go in the live chat sometime eyes,
hugs to you too xxxxxx
Naomi
well as you know unless you are an elders son or daughter generally jw's don't lift a finger to help all those ones feeling downtrodden and lonely.
i felt like this from july 1994 to march 2000. i prayed to jehovah constantly for help to ease the loneliness, i begged the elders and even others.
for a long time the only ones who would talk to me where the elderly ones(who i miss now since i left) i cried every night and felt after five years of being at meetings and feeling invisable (even though i was an auxillary pioneer) i decided that my life was worth fighting for.
well this is my story, up to now you have little snipets-
Both my dad and mum were brought up witnesses, they met and courted. My dad though unbeknowing to everyone was leading a double life, he was a reg pioneer but also he smoked (pot) and what else, you can guess that. He was put under alot of pressure to be baptised and pioneer from my Nanna (who has passed away now and who had brought many ppl into the JW organisation). Well my mum was regarded by my Nanna not good enough for my dad and they ran away to Gretna green to get married, when they came back they were disapproved of very much. He left and my mum struggled on bringing seven small kids to the meetings (all with bible names, me being the second youngest) she never had help, we never got invited to anything, so not only were we outcasts at school because of the JW's we were outcasts in the JW's as well, We all got bullied at school and at the meetings too, it got to my mum and we all stopped going when i was about ten. We moved house when I was fourteen and I had always loved reading the bible book of stories, we were contacted by the witnesses at our new address and they invited us to the meetings in which I went to on my own, curious and still in fear of dying at armageddon. Thats when I started regularly going, and I fell in love with a young brother , we started courting when we wee both 17 and courted for a year, even got engaged.We were both in the same congregation and many didn't think I was good enough for him which in turn broke us up. He got all the support and i was left, you see he'd tell ppl that if I was invited then he wouldn't go and because they wanted him there then me I was just cut off, that started my depression and unable to cope with I ran away to London which was were I met an australian alled Paul, I needed a friend and he listened to me without predjudice, our friendship deepened until we made love, but I couldn't relax all the way through as I felt I weas sinning and they day afterwards I ran away home again. I started going back to meetings again and a month later found out I was pregnant, I wasn't baptised but I had a judicial commitee meeting about me anyway and was publically reproved, which made me cry. I'd been an outcast ever since, I was nice to everyone, I never gossiped about ppl although they did many times, I know that whenever a brother found himself attracted to me he would ask others and they would strongly advise and discourage them from liking me. There was a sister I remember when i was young called Cath, she started coming to meetings when she was 20 and had a small son called Chris, he grew up and left and she was about 40 , she never met anyone and the other sisters were awful to her behind her back. I looked at her life and and I saw my whole life like hers had been like i already lived it, and I decided enough was enough and left, you know the rest, hopefully now any avid reader would know where my depression came from....
I never left because I didn't believe in Jehovah, Jesus or the bible, I left because of the ppl. I still believe the things I was taught and many of the ppl who come here believe the same I think.
Warm Hugs to all
Naomi
well as you know unless you are an elders son or daughter generally jw's don't lift a finger to help all those ones feeling downtrodden and lonely.
i felt like this from july 1994 to march 2000. i prayed to jehovah constantly for help to ease the loneliness, i begged the elders and even others.
for a long time the only ones who would talk to me where the elderly ones(who i miss now since i left) i cried every night and felt after five years of being at meetings and feeling invisable (even though i was an auxillary pioneer) i decided that my life was worth fighting for.
Your right, but i didn't leave because I didn't believe in the bible, I left because the ppl made me ill, The day i left I handed in my field ministry report of 54 hours, up until the day I left I never missed a meeting, but I close to dying, my life full of guilt because I thought they must of something seriously wrong about me because noone helping me. My daughter goes to birthday parties now and has christmas, we haven't got to a tree yet but it harmless, probably won't bother when she gets older.
I just like to say how nice all your responses have been on this page, and hugs and kisses to all of you (esp. EYES)
Love Naomi
well as you know unless you are an elders son or daughter generally jw's don't lift a finger to help all those ones feeling downtrodden and lonely.
i felt like this from july 1994 to march 2000. i prayed to jehovah constantly for help to ease the loneliness, i begged the elders and even others.
for a long time the only ones who would talk to me where the elderly ones(who i miss now since i left) i cried every night and felt after five years of being at meetings and feeling invisable (even though i was an auxillary pioneer) i decided that my life was worth fighting for.
I tried to leave july 99 but they kept saying to me that i would put a death penalty on my duaghters life, it was hard, I love my little girl so I stuck with and got worse and worse still aux pioneering until I borrowed a large amount of money and moved 306 miles away to get away from them. I would be dead now, I would have killed myself. I decided that I would rather have one day of happiness than a lifetime of the life I had and since I left I am blessed to say I have had many happy days- good to know you have peace now love Naomi
well as you know unless you are an elders son or daughter generally jw's don't lift a finger to help all those ones feeling downtrodden and lonely.
i felt like this from july 1994 to march 2000. i prayed to jehovah constantly for help to ease the loneliness, i begged the elders and even others.
for a long time the only ones who would talk to me where the elderly ones(who i miss now since i left) i cried every night and felt after five years of being at meetings and feeling invisable (even though i was an auxillary pioneer) i decided that my life was worth fighting for.
All I wanted was to feel loved and have friends, when I went to one elder he had a wife and three kids, he gave the usual scriptures and told me to pray to Jehovah. that was it, he said I didn't put myself out enough but its not fair to just invite yourself to peoples houses you like to be asked, I was never invited to weddings although i was in it for ten years, in fact to be truthful I went to one wedding but that was because I was having a study with her. The elder should have lead by example he should have pulled me into his family, I'm sure if he'd of done that then It would have set the ball and others would do it. I always had this feeling they never liked me. Since I left last year the still knock on my door and hassle me to come back saying they miss me and want me to come back, but I know that the reason the call on me is because they can count ministry time, they look at there watch and leave after half an hour sad really. Thanks for your reply as I have always know most witnesses never leave because they want to be sinful but mainly because people a)ignore them b) Make them feel as though they are not good enough c) gossip about them spreading lies (which has happened to me, very hurtful) d) never have association. If the witnesses looked after the people they already have then they wouldn't lose them. I have never missed an memorial and this year will be the first one I miss if I don't go but I would feel so hypocritcal if I go as I have left Jehovah and Jesus now but I did ask for help so many times that eventiually i felt that because my prayers were unanswered I must not have gods appoval. Tell me about your situation Red horse woman
well as you know unless you are an elders son or daughter generally jw's don't lift a finger to help all those ones feeling downtrodden and lonely.
i felt like this from july 1994 to march 2000. i prayed to jehovah constantly for help to ease the loneliness, i begged the elders and even others.
for a long time the only ones who would talk to me where the elderly ones(who i miss now since i left) i cried every night and felt after five years of being at meetings and feeling invisable (even though i was an auxillary pioneer) i decided that my life was worth fighting for.
Well as you know unless you are an elders son or daughter generally JW's don't lift a finger to help all those ones feeling downtrodden and lonely. I felt like this from july 1994 to march 2000. I prayed to jehovah constantly for help to ease the loneliness, I begged the elders and even others. For a long time the only ones who would talk to me where the elderly ones(who I miss now since i left) I cried every night and felt after five years of being at meetings and feeling invisable (even though i was an auxillary pioneer) I decided that my life was worth fighting for. I never realised how down I got until I thought about taking my own life, if I'd of stayed at meetings i would have killed myself. one year on and I'm so completely content and happy, I have a partner who asks only for what i can give and now going to live with him in Mongolia. The feelings of guilt have left. I felt leaving was the only way I could lead a normal and happy life and was wondering if anyone else felt that way?????????
i thought i would be the one to start this one.
this is for all the newbies to jump on in and say well, hell...hello!
i am thinking not to many will answer this thread but many new ones are here now.
well i met you last night and feel you are right, read you response on robot's and liked it, I too am a fornicator, soon to be living with my boyfiend, it doesn't feel wrong for me to be with him and it feels right because I love him, well on the subject of Oral sex, which many think is wrong and i'm sure JW's teach is wrong, but i do it and enjoy it, i think that if you can something that obsviously gives someone so much pleasure how wrong can it be, as long as both parties are agreeable to it. I don't think i will ever get married to him as making it "proper" doesn't mean a damn thing to me, thank goodness I can have a normal sexual relationship (with orgasms) without feeling it to be acomplete sin. My sypathies go out to others with a troubled conscience in this matter
Love to all in the forun Nogs xxxxxxx
