I think we agree Jeff on the extreme shunning as being unreasonable. What is reasonable then? Something else for sure. What is discipline? A correction, a readjustment. Some people might say tough love but even in tough love support is not withdrawn from people (outside of JW's). I think this question goes to the very core of what religion/myth is supposed to do. Yes, the big questions are supposed to be answered but there is also some sort of transformation that takes place in a person. Something a person can rely in even in the toughest of situations. Clearly, this hasn't happened for someone disfellowshipped. Why? That is the question and how can it be achieved? Taking all support from someone is obviously not the answer. But what is?
In my opinion disfellowshipping is the ultimate failure. It is the 'easy way out for elders'. A huge failure in helping someone to transform their inner self.