Posts by notsureofmyself

5

Okay, all of you, Line up Here!

by Frenchy in

jw
friends

whew!

can you believe all the new people!?!

--and scattered out all over the place!

What exactly is an apostate?

by notsureofmyself in

jw
friends

would someone care to give me their definition of an apostate and what it means to them?

notsureofmyself

Would someone care to give me their definition of an apostate and what it means to them?

28

this is in response to a question asked by martini on the thread reflections, page 4. for those who have not read it, the question is: is it true that the israelites were historically jehovah's chosen people...the israelites make the wts with all it's "warts" look like saints... or are we to deduce from this that jehovah is the kind of god that could accept and work with such wayward people today as he did in the past?

my response was, in a nutshell: yes, the israelites were gods chosen people.

notsureofmyself

Just to add my humble opinion. When the Jews were mentioned as the chosen people they were told personally by God that they were His chosen people. Their lineage is traced all the way back to Adam and up Jesus to show that these people were the ones who were God's chosen ones.

Later on when the Gentiles were accepted, God never spoke of one line or one tribe as being His own special people. Also, in the Gospels, the commandments are simplified to 2 and the old laws became void. If God had a special channel or people there would be some way of naming or identifying them. As far as I can see there is no special people, just those who try to serve God in the best and most honest way that they can.

15

Just want to get past it........

by notsureofmyself in

jw
friends

i appreciate so much of what is being said here, but frankly i just want it done with.

i don't even care if their doctrines are right or not, their conduct, their conditional love and their hypocrisy is definitely wrong.. i have given up looking for a church that has the answers, there is none.

there are no perfect churches, doctrines or people.

notsureofmyself

Just a quick note to thank everyone who answered my post. I appreciate your wisdom and at times your wit. I will take under consideration and appreciate all the advice and experience offered me. Thanks.
Jackie (notsureofmyself)

15

Just want to get past it........

by notsureofmyself in

jw
friends

i appreciate so much of what is being said here, but frankly i just want it done with.

i don't even care if their doctrines are right or not, their conduct, their conditional love and their hypocrisy is definitely wrong.. i have given up looking for a church that has the answers, there is none.

there are no perfect churches, doctrines or people.

notsureofmyself

I appreciate so much of what is being said here, but frankly I just want it done with. I don't even care if their doctrines are right or not, their conduct, their conditional love and their hypocrisy is definitely wrong.

I have given up looking for a church that has the answers, there is none. There are no perfect churches, doctrines or people. But there is a difference between right and wrong and I when wrong is willfully carried out on purpose that is not imperfection. How many of us have dealt with biased, self-serving, favorite-playing elders. How many of us have been lied to, have been shunned. How many Witnesses are actually "closet apostates" being afraid to speak out about how they really feel. What gives them, the Witnesses, the right to label anyone? Isn't that defemation of character? If apostate was a new religion or organization than it would be different, but the way they use it is slander.

I have read many posts about x-witnesses being very happy now that they have left. What I would like to know is: how have they successfully emerged from under the "Witness cloud" that still hangs over so many of us. That cloud is left over guilt, depression and sadness that is always in the back of our minds. It might be easier for some to get out from under that cloud if they have only been in a few years, but in my case, it may take another 40 years to undo all the damage the Witnesses did in the first 40. Frankly, I just don't have the time.

Sometimes I wonder if it will ever be possible to have some kind of relationship with God again. Sometimes it seems that you have to drop God also to be free. Faith in God is all part of the Witness thing that I abhor. I am really not sure about this whole thing. Any one have any suggestions? At one time I really thought that I was over the anger, but I guess it was just put aside for a while. I wonder if it will ever be completely gone.

92

Reflections

by Frenchy in

jw
friends

im starting a new thread because its time i left the bergman discussion.

i would like to address some comments made by ahhah, however, comments which have given me reason to look deep into myself.. even then, i wonder how objective a person could ever be after having had part of their life taken from them by a cult association.

on the other hand, who else (other than an ex-jw) would ever care enough to work as tirelessly as he seems to have in attempting to document the potential harm of this religion (biased as it may be).

notsureofmyself

I know alot of what Red went thru, we were in the same congregation for a large part of our lives. We knew each other and hung out with pretty much the same groups but we didn't really become friends until much later. This was because one of our worthy pioneer "sisters" played us against each other. I thought she hated me and she thought that I hated her. We did figure out what was happening until much later, after we were married and away from this person. From that time on Red and I became close friends and it continues until this day.

Red, I know felt she had no worth--she was made to feel that way as was I. But one thing I would like others to know, when I was leaving the BORG she was my main or only support system. She kept me from returning when I begin to get scared. She was there for me whenever I needed her. She left quite a bit before me, so I couldn't do the same for her, but I always stayed in touch with her and I am glad that I did. The visits were always a little strained at first because I was still "active". I remember noticing that she was reading books by Stephen King and I was shocked--I was still the good little Witness.

I guess what I want to say here is: I just want you all to know what a good and caring person is and she has so much to give to this board. If you were aware of the hell she has been thru, you would know how amazing it is that she is still the good person she is.

92

Reflections

by Frenchy in

jw
friends

im starting a new thread because its time i left the bergman discussion.

i would like to address some comments made by ahhah, however, comments which have given me reason to look deep into myself.. even then, i wonder how objective a person could ever be after having had part of their life taken from them by a cult association.

on the other hand, who else (other than an ex-jw) would ever care enough to work as tirelessly as he seems to have in attempting to document the potential harm of this religion (biased as it may be).

notsureofmyself

I was involved with the Witnesses for over 40 years and truly understand the anger of those who leave. First of all we discover that we have been deceived--betrayed. By who--the very organization that we trusted and put our faith in. We believed that it was God's organization, we believed they were the only right ones, the ones who would live thru Armageddon. We were caught up in it--24/7. It was our whole life. All of our friends were Witnesses, we were either at meetings, out in service, or studying. We made our children the different ones in school and they suffered for it. We lived in fear of the elders and their infamous committees. We never felt that we had any privacy, it always felt like someone was watching. We felt guilty if we read other books besides the W.T. material even if it were as simple as "Little house on the Prairie".

We put our whole faith and trust in the J.W.'s. We believed everything we were fed and if we did not believe we were afraid to speak out for fear of committee action. We lived with guilt, anxiety, unworthiness, depression and unhappiness. We lived with "conditional love" not love for all the brothers and sisters, but for a select few. We dealt with the elders and their "first ladies." Many of those without spouses in the organization were left out of the socializing, but we were still supposed to be out in service. Heaven help us if we had small children, that put us in leper status.

Our privacy and dignity was taken from us, whether it was how we "performed" in the privacy of our own bedroom or what we watched on television, or if we were found to be on the internet. We held low level jobs in order to pioneer, and we did not follow up with a college education even if we were given scholorship. Many of us regret the fact that we did not become what we really wanted to be--such as a veternarian. In actuality, we became "Kingdom Robots" doing everything we were told, WITHOUT question. We also pushed aside friends and especially relatives for not agreeing with our beliefs. We alienated family--which we would come to regret later on.

Why are we angry--someone dares to ask this question!!!! Whether we left voluntarily or was "put out" we had given up any of the support systems we once had in the world. Upon leaving we no longer had any type of relationship with any friends or family that were still Witnesses. We usually didn't have an education past a high school one, if that. A lot of us didn't set up retirement funds as we didn't think we would need it, alot also did not buy life insurance or further still put off starting a family; and then upon leaving found they were too old. We are shunned, treated like lepers, treated like dirt--why? It isn't because God decreed it, no, but because some men decided it for us.

There is no other organization that claims you like the Witnesses do. There is no other organization that tortures you mentally, physically and emotionally. We let them be in complete control until we to understand that something wasn't right. How do you explain away so much change, so much hypocrisy, so much conditional love?

When we leave we have no friends, some have no family, we are totally stunted in creating relationships in the world. We feel the guilt, depression and fear for a long long time--some of it never goes away. We are very disfunctional people as we have been letting a book printing plant control our every move for so long. You wanted some reason for my anger and others anger, well here they are!!

I didn't intend for this to be so long, but I got on a roll, sorry.

31

Hi, I'm new here also

by notsureofmyself in

jw
friends

when i first checked out this board i also thought it was a board for active witnesses.

the more i read, the more i realized that it was pretty much a x-jw board--more to my liking.

i disassociated myself in december of '98.

notsureofmyself

When I first checked out this board I also thought it was a board for active Witnesses. The more I read, the more I realized that it was pretty much a x-JW board--more to my liking.

I disassociated myself in December of '98. I had been associated with the Witnesses for 40+ years. In fact, the "Redhorsewoman" and I grew up together, but she left the J.W.'s some time before I did and she was my main source of support when I left.

Red recommended this board to me and I am finding it very interesting. Well, I guess thats all for now!