As a born in I always respected converts MORE because they were not pressured by family and friends to get baptized. They usually had to overcome obsticals to do it. However there is a double standard when it comes to dating a convert. And yes, it has everything to do with sex. The Watchtower has printed articles about using caution because a convert could have contracted a VD or even AIDS and pass it on to their JW mate. They also use STDs as a reason to be wary of those who were born in, left, then came back to the Borg. The society was pushing converts getting tested for STDs before getting serious with any JW.
Posts by 3rdgen
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43Any born-ins have this attitude about converts?
by Nambo inso there was this great gang of us, from south london, manchester and wolverhampton, went to socialise with a group in fishguard in wales.. amongst the conversations one of the single sisters stated, "i could never marry anybody who used to be in the world".. i guess a lifetime of knocking on doors had given her the impression there couldnt possibly be a convert in her midst, never mind later alone with her in her mgb.. so whats with this, did you think we had rat scabies or were possesed by demons or something?.
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58
New MS - Looking for the "better" job
by nochoice inlong, long time lurker and great fan of the site - first time poster.
i am not sure if i am truly a lurker since that implies i am apostate-curious.
in fact, i have been mentally out completely for a long time, but still physically in like many of you.
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3rdgen
Welcome nochoice! I'm just curious, are you living with your parents or on your own? The easiest way to fade is to move to another cong. preferably out of the same circuit as your family. The ones treating your family poorly will not know or care how active you are in your new hall. The family can save face and you can gradually do less and less. Something to think about no?
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42
I'm gonna have to decline your invite
by mrsjones5 inmy mother just told me today that her cousin's wife has extended an invite for me to attend their 35th wedding anniversary.
i find that i'm not in the mood to be surrounding by a group of jws especially since said cousin and his wife are both jws and i did accept the wife as a friend on facebook where i've been none too discreet about my distaste for the society.
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3rdgen
Mrs. Jones, maybe they want to count time on you! LOL Isn't it nice to feel free enough to say "No thanks"? I couldn't do it either. Thankfully, we aren't invited to any of our family wiennie roasts.
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131
Let's Discuss Ray Franz's Books
by Recovery ini have been repeatedly pleaded with to read the books of ray franz in my short stay on this board.
apparently these are all the all-powerful, wt crushing arguments, that lead so many to leave jw's and become ruthless opposers of god's people.
we can discuss any claims/statements/scriptural arguments presented in either of his books, as long as it somehow proves jehovah's witnesses are not god's people.
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3rdgen
Recovery, what are you recovering from? This is not a rhetorical question. I read ray Franz's CoC 9 months ago for the 1st time. At the time i was a third generation born in to parents with strong connections to N.H. Norr and the Watchtower society leaders. I had grown up believing this was truely Jehovah's visible organisation on earth. I was well aware of "imperfections" in men but thought that God was using these "vessels" to help acomplish his purpose.
Enough had happened in my life and family to call into question the love exibited by the leadership. I reluctantly read the book cover to cover with (this is crucial) an open mind. Doing so changed my life because I had enough inside information for Franz's words to have the ring of truth. The most profound insight for me was the Malawi/Mexico issue. You see, I was in my idealistic early 20's when we JW's were encouragaged to write Dr. Banda, the leader of Malawi to please put an end to the atrocities happening to the innocent law abiding men women and yes, children of JWs. I vividly remember writing through my tears visualizing the stripping those brothers and sisters naked, parading them in the streets and incidents of gang rape and the horror of having their houses destroyed to name just a few. I was litterally sick for these people just trying to do what jehovah requires (as interpreted by the FDS).
Now contrast that with what was happening in Mexico at the same time. (These brothers were also guided by the FDS) My husband has a relative who was the branch servant in Mexico at the time so he was able to confirm how it was that the Mexico branch would have such a different way of doing things than Africa. In the 70's I was married to someone else so I had no idea what was really going on in Mexico. Yet I did know that love is supposed to be an identifying mark of true religion. That the WTS is supposed to be a worldwide brotherhood and that the Bible teaches that God is not partial to any race or country.
Please read the book with an open mind and I and many others would be only too happy to discuss. I have no interest in debates. If a person can't see my point of view when i first present it, thats fine with me. I will agree to disagree.
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21
Cataloging the damage of the Watchower in my life
by Aussie Oz in1. jehovah's witnesses interferance in my parents marriage leading to mother rejecting father who could not come at the teachings.. 2. my mother taking us 500km away from father to start a new life with a much older jw man just after armageddon didnt come in 75...for teaching us that he was evil and deserved to be killed by god.. 3. bullying at school for being a jw, resulting in only one friend all through school and learning little social interaction.
leading to leaving early with no education beyond year 10.. 4. marrying way to young for love?....
5. making me feel like a demon for being human.. 6. rejection by all friends and wife because i couldn't stick it.. 7. not going back to wife because of rejection, nervous breakdown by freeing wife and believing i was now doomed to die.. 8. almost leaving my childrens lives by both suicide and disapearing.. 9. wifes support by wt to force me out of their lives and for coaching her to do this.
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3rdgen
Aussie, it is great to hear that despite the horrors of life in the cult you are surviving quite well. The best thing is that your children will not carry on the misery of life as a JW. You have been instramental in helping them to think critically. Good work! Many of our mothers have been manipulated by the Watchtower yet will refuse to live life any other way. To me it's as if they are drowning but refuse to get in the life raft because it isn't comfortable or familiar. ****sigh****
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45
Feel the Goddamned Love
by AK - Jeff inmy mil of 38 years - who has not spoken to me for the 9 years since i left her cult - died on sunday.. today, as a favor to my sil who has spoken to me very rarely, for the same reasons, over the same period of time, i was moving some personal items to her home from the nursing home.
in this instance i guess it is ok to speak with me - if i have a strong back and a conveyance that aids her needs at the moment.. anyway, in the parking lot of the apartment complex where she lives, while we are moving in those items, guess who shows up?
five or six of my old 'best friends'.
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3rdgen
i feel for you AK Jeff, I admire how much you were willing to put up with to show support to your wife at a very stressful time. Be confident you did the right thing not making a scene for her sake. My hubby and I are facing a similar situation with both of our elderly JW mothers. Mine has been openly hostile toward my hubby. When she dies he'll be in the same boat as you. You're a good man.
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31
The Elders "want to meet with us"
by finally awake injust ron and i were sitting outside on our porch, enjoying the beautiful late afternoon weather when our middle son came outside with the phone.
it was brother lazy slacker calling.
just ron took the phone before he knew who was calling.
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3rdgen
Wow, Finally Awake, Your hubby took a call that could have blindsided a lesser person and thought on his feet. Good for him! Love your names. We were inactive in Fs and hadn't been to a meeting in almost 5 years before we got a call about 6 months ago from brother Drinks till he's Wasted, an Elder from the hall we used to attend. We have caller ID so we let it go to voicemail. He just said to call him back. Of course we didn't. Then, about 2 months ago we got a call from bro. Nice but Henpecked, who is in the territory we moved to. Again, the message was to call him back. He tried 2 more times without leaving a message.
It seems as though these brothers were told to call us. (probably by the CO) Neither has tried lately. I think it is interesting that neither Elder would say why they were calling in their message. I'm sure they don't really want to hear what we have to say!
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31
My own story.
by JoelCW ini'm a long time lurker, first time poster.
i think i have a similar story to others who were brought up in the so called "truth" but after reading so many stories i thought i'd finally get around to writing mine:.
like i said, i was raised into it and almost my entire immediate family where (and for the most part still are) serious members.
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3rdgen
Congratulations on getting out while you were still young! It took hubby and me forty years longer than you to wake up.
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284
ABOUT TERRY
by Quentin interry was admitted to the hospital yesterday.
he has a severe case of cellulites which has affected his neck glands.
his face and neck are very swollen.
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3rdgen
Yikes, what a terrible thing to happen! Sending positive thoughts and well wishes your way from Balaamsass and me.
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15
Loss and Loneliness
by compound complex intonight's sunset is as spectacular as any i had ever viewed from the kitchen window in my former, beloved home-sweet-home.. a tiny abode it was compared to my current habitation.
no longer within a mere four wooden walls of plain aspect and diminutive scale, i now am lost in a seeming infinite architectural spread that reaches toward earth's four points, an edifice of four expansive levels that demand i walk, climb, explore every one of thousands of hidden nooks and crannies.
i am compelled to do this but find no joy in discovery.
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3rdgen
((((((((((Co Co))))))))))) ((((((((Lois))))))))) I've been there