ISW1961 I am curious if you think that your appointment as elder was by Holy Spirit? If so, how exactly? I ask this because you have stated that you don't approve of all of Watchtower's teachings and policies but keep your mouth shut about it. Smart.
I have several relatives who are elders doing the same as you- enjoying the privileges and status of their "positions" secretly holding different views than the WTBTS. They have the comfort of maintaining relationships with friends and family as well as the the social benefits of their tight inner circle who also secretly discard many of the "details" of the religion. It just so happens that they are successful businessmen who are enjoying good health, live in multi million $ homes, are able to travel the world, and have supplied their children with businesses they will inherit.
If a JW like you is able to "fake it" there is no motivation to leave. This site however, is mostly comprised of those whose consciences won't allow them to live this way. They feel morally compelled to live truthfully and authentically despite the consequences.
I conclude by asking a follow up question: Why would Holy Spirit appoint a brother who is not a true believer?