She'll get over it..... you shared with her what was in your heart.... nothing wrong with that
Roberta804
JoinedPosts by Roberta804
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33
There was a knock at the door....
by exwhyzee inor more like a thunking sound really, which set our little dog into a fit of barking.
i crawled out from behind the fridge where i was doing a repair on the waterline for the icemaker, so i could go see what all the commotion was about.
i fugured it was going to be my neighbor returning my ladder but instead it was jw's handing out memorial invites.. the woman and the young man (her 20 something son) were people i had known but hadn't seen since we faded 4+ years ago.
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84
How do I as a future "Therapist" help ex-jws that won't move on from the WT?
by booker-t ini am halfway through my master's program in psychology/sociology and plan on being a therapist/sounselor.
i left jw's in 1988 and i have never looked back.
i enjoy my life so much after getting my aa degree, then my ba degree, and now i will soon get my ma degree.
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Roberta804
144001 your funny
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84
How do I as a future "Therapist" help ex-jws that won't move on from the WT?
by booker-t ini am halfway through my master's program in psychology/sociology and plan on being a therapist/sounselor.
i left jw's in 1988 and i have never looked back.
i enjoy my life so much after getting my aa degree, then my ba degree, and now i will soon get my ma degree.
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Roberta804
BookerT,
The biggest thing I learned in my practice, and from my own therapy, is that I could not treat a JW patient on account of the strong transference issues that would naturally arise. I am very psychoanalytic in my approach. It would be almost the same as treating a family member. I remember a teenage girl I was treating whose parents divorced. We were well into our 3rd month of active treatment when she finally started talking about her Father, a JW elder. It was a real fight for me to keep her goals front and center and not let my instant hate of her father color treatment. She became an expensive patient for me as I needed to seek out weekly supervision to keep a healthy and proper transference.
If I could redo my college years and young adulthood, I would stay away from anything to do with psychology and go into something concrete like law or medicine so I don't have to deal with transference issues so much.
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84
How do I as a future "Therapist" help ex-jws that won't move on from the WT?
by booker-t ini am halfway through my master's program in psychology/sociology and plan on being a therapist/sounselor.
i left jw's in 1988 and i have never looked back.
i enjoy my life so much after getting my aa degree, then my ba degree, and now i will soon get my ma degree.
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Roberta804
Bookert,
I am a psychotherapist, born in and out for 27 years. There is a lot of questions you are asking, but it seems you want to make it all disappear with the cover of one blanket. Doesn't work that way. For instance myself.... If the JW were just some business that bushed my life briefly, yea I could just dismiss it and never even remember anything about it after a year. The fact is the Printing company became more of a parent than my parents, it was a parent to my parents. A dependency was created that was so strong that my own mother could not think for herself. How is a child to think if his own parents teach that thinking is wrong? And that is just one facet, there are hundreds more.
May I suggest if you are seriously considering being a therapist to undergo therapy yourself. You will learn more than any book or class can teach you. Also it seems from your post, that helping JW is your primary focas. That too, in it's own way, is keeping you from letting go of the JW and moving on completely, if that is actually possible. My ears will always, for the rest of my life, perk up if I hear the words JW, KH, society, organization, worldly, etc... and that is because the Printing Company became intwined with my identification of a parent and of my parents and thus myself. As you probably know, there are worse things in the mental health community other than the trama of leaving the JWs, but it does not make any less tramatic for the patient.
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Will cong members support charity challenge?
by newdawnfades ini am going to participate in a physical challenge for charity with some non jw workmates which will require many hours spent in training.
i am intending to publicize this in the congregation.
do you think i will receive much in the way of donations for the charity?.
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Roberta804
This is so sad and it is one of the biggest issues I have with the borg. Here they demostrate just how insecure/envious/jeleous they are. Long, long ago before I left I took some parenting classes where I learned so many new ways to communicate with children and adults. I was very excited to share my new skills only to be drawn into the back room by an elder not to spread my "worldly" views. Such Dumbasses!
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Need Help: What Would You Try to Tell Current JW's?
by daringhart13 ini've been journaling a lot the past couple of years....it was recommended to me by a therapist when my anger was boiling over.. so recently i decided to start an exercise: what would you tell them if they would listen?.
i've started listing my top 10 and it's interesting......i'm over all of the doctrinal insanity.....i'm forever indebted to the more scholarly among us that have put so much effort into research, writing, etc.!!!.
mine all focused on more 'human' subjects....emotions, pain, etc.
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Roberta804
Good question daringhart,
My answer is simple: Nothing. Absolutly nothing. I would wait until they asked me specific questions or they themselves brought up a specific topic. Why? Because JWs are constantly being told this, and being told that; they are not allowed to think for themselves, nor are they taught to be respectful of the beliefs of others. If I started telling them this and that, tearing down their beliefs then they may as well stay a JW, that is what they are USED TO and they know how to respond to all that. If you really want to get their attention, your actions will speak louder than any words. Be totally respectful of their JW cult beliefs, in as much as it is their beliefs. They do not know how to handle respect. If asked a specific question about my beliefs, whatever they may be, say you do not want to discuss it because you know JWs are taught to disrespect the beliefs of others. If they persist and are respectful, then remind them they are asking. What you are after is to get them to take responsibility for the asking of the question. You can even say something encouraging by acknowledging that you know how difficult it is for them to ask any questions.
It is not what you say, but how you say it. If they really want to know doctrine stuff they know the internet is full of it. Responsibility and respect for others is the big issues you want to teach; but you can't "teach" these things.... they have to be experienced.
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28
A double life
by raindrops ini am usually a lurker here.
i was disfellowshipped about 3 years ago.
my relationship with my family has never been the same.
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Roberta804
It is a very personal decision to lead a double life or not. However I have never, ever met anyone who was happy about living a double life, but I guess the sacrafice for family is worth it for them because they do it. Living a double life is just not me... I am a poor lier. Also my biggest motivation to give up my family was the welfare of my children. My children are worth putting up with the emotional pain. After DA myself 27 years ago, I am now a grandma of 4 and I feel so proud of myself for protecting my children from the JW. My boys know only of the life my hubby and I presented to them. They both were involved in sports and music, one is a chemist and the other a doctor. I feel very blessed.
I was a born in, I had everything to lose. Looking back.... I did not lose a thing.....I gained.
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Roberta804
Welcome TA.
It is not your children your staying in for, be honest, it is because of the losses you will suffer. When you are able to cut your personal losses your children will eagerly follow you. Bet your hubby will too. But you took a huge step in just posting here with how you truly feel. The more comfortable you start to feel in your own skin, your glow will be evident to all and you will naturally move toward integerity. Don't rush it.... coming out of a cult is as natural as leaving a burning building once your eyes are awake. Practice all you want with us here on the board with what to say to anyone or with seeing how y ou truly feel in print.
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An offer from the Governing Body
by irondork in.
the governing body took us along to an unusually high mountain, and showed us all the friends and family members that had been ripped away and they said to us.... .
all these people we will give back to you if you fall down and do an act of worship to us.
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Roberta804
Really puts it all into perspective doesn't it? This would make a nice flyer to put in the windshields of cars in the KH parking lot.
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49
Are we all bitter?
by LouBelle ini posted a link on fb that lead to a topic here.
i then had one of my 'friends' start having a go about how bitter everyone is here....fact he said.
(he used to be a jw elder but left a while back, not sure why he left or if he has even researched the faith since leaving) the more i tried to reason with him that actually it is a support forum, the more he lashed out that everyone here bad mouths the jw's and only attack the jw's.
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Roberta804
Bitter???? You bet I'm bitter. I would not be human if I was not bitter. But at least I can direct my bitterness towards the borg and to those I hold responsible.