Reading this op made me realize what a sad existence we have been forced to live. I did this for awhile until my conscience got the best of me, I just can't go out and preach something I don't agree with. So I stopped going out in service, quit my bible study's and family worship. The more I discovered the more I detest even looking at their literature. Just makes me sick to think, what my life could of been if it wasn't for the Watchtower. So I wont propagate this lifestyle or mental manipulation onto anyone else. I've reported and donated goose eggs for almost 3 years now. So i'm inactive, bad association and spiritually weak............at least I have my sanity.
MarkofCane
JoinedPosts by MarkofCane
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44
For those who are still in... What do you do about field service?
by Wait For It infor those of you who are still in because of family circumstances, what do you do about field service?
do you still go regularly, sporadically or not at all?.
if you do still go, how do you manage?
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Update on My Journey: 8 Years After the End of Watchtower Control
by passwordprotected ini last updated you guys almost 2 years ago here.. i thought i'd post an update.. the peace i discovered having decided to let the angst, worry and fear over what to believe is as strong as ever, although i am keeping more abreast of what jw.org (formerly known as wtbts) is up to, and i never cease to be shocked and surprised.. as my last post mentioned, i split from the jw girl i married in 1993 and both of us have moved on with new partners that better fit who we are as grown adults, rather than the children we were 23 years ago.. my partner has no religious background whatsoever, although her children are being raised as catholics by their father.
hearing her kids openly doubt, question and even ridicule the religion is heartwarming and exactly the way it should be.. as for my children, they continue to be a never-ending stream of joy and pride.. my oldest son is now 16, having been only 8 years old when we left the watchtower.
he had big anxiety problems for a while afterwards, worrying about armageddon etc.
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MarkofCane
Glad you dropped by and updated the community on your progress. Hope your health improves and your journey continues in good health, heart disease sucks. I wish more of the old posters would drop by and encourage those just waking up and leaving this cult. Many are unsure if they made the right decisions or question if things will ever get better, your story gives many hope.
Best of luck to you my friend.
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JWs exist because...
by oldskool inone sentence answers only.. here's mine:.
jws exist because people want an escape from the modern world and are willing to give up intellectual freedom to get it..
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MarkofCane
"Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people" (More so the JW's)
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My thoughts on the shunning part at the convention
by stuckinamovement inthe wts has gone off the rails and is "unrepentantly" hateful.
they are blatantly requiring mothers and fathers to disown/hate their own children that they have loved and cared for since birth simply because they don't comply with the orgs demands.
how is this love?
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MarkofCane
I will be going to the convention end of July. I don't know how I will get through it, but I do know I will need alcohol to recover afterwords. I will probably stay at the hotel one day with sever stomach issues, aka pool day.
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The bigger picture
by Freeandclear ini've been awake now for a good while.
about a year.
in that year i've done a lot of soul searching and thinking about god and religion etc.... as i'm sure most all of us have who've left this cult.
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MarkofCane
Thanks for sharing that, I really enjoyed reading it. I agree with everything you said and I'm in the same state of mind. Being happy is about being content with who you are and what you have regardless of your situation. Improving your lifestyle and economic situation is important but should not be paramount to your happiness. Otherwise you might be miserable your entire life. I know people who cannot be happy until they have the latest and best things on the market, their convinced that this will make them happy. Then later this cycle begins again with a new trendy product, never happy.
As far as God, well the proof is in the pudding. Religious people live in a constructed reality, believing that this is not the real life that we are just foreigners passing through a desolate place a wicked world. That our real life is in the future a Utopian fantasy, were our every desire will be fulfilled. Our life is thus postponed, nothing really matters, God will take care of it. We can shun or discard our loved ones, not to worry, God will bless us like Job and give us 10 time what we lost. If we die a martyr because of blood, neutrality or whatever the case it doesn't matter because this life is worthless and god will grant you a perfect everlasting life. What a waste!
Thinking about my mortality, this last week reading and watching the news about the passing of Muhammad Ali and prince, forced me to consider my own mortality. No one has ever escaped death, no one and I shall be no exception. No matter how strong, rich, beautiful you are or intelligent, we shall all return to the inescapable state of nothing that we came from. So I consider this life a one time gift to be, to exist and be part of this cosmic symphony, happening regardless of my presence. That to me is poetry, that to me is life.
MC
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How Long Does This Religion Have Left?
by pale.emperor inthe generation that will be no means pass away have passed away.. the 144,000 were sealed up in 1935, oh, no wait, we got that wrong, we still have some.. russel is the faithful and wise servant... oh, no he wasn't it was me, rutherford... no, actually, we got that wrong it's knorr... erm, no we mean the governing body.. shunning is pagan, true christians would never do that (1946)... oh, actually, we should do that too.. the revelation book has been re-written.. the un is the satan's visible organisation.. wtbs signs up for fellowship with the un in 1991.. exposed in the guardian newspaper so ends it's fellowship in 2001.. the greatest man book is now obsolete and replaced with another jesus book.. the mags are reduced in pages.. encouraged to use tablets instead of actual books to save paper (money).
halls being sold off.. congregations sharing halls.. society owned buildings being sold off.. video pertitioning for money only last year to fund a new building.. bethelites reduced.. missionaries sent back home.. young members leaving.. long time members discovering the history and leaving.. how long do you think this religion has left?
i cant see it being here in another 100 years.
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MarkofCane
I truly think that when they started, back with CT Russel they were sincerely searching for something different then what was being offered by conventional religion. That being said they had it wrong, time has proven that, but that didn't stop them instead they changed their doctrine as needed to fit the current obvious evidence.
Time proved them as false prophets, but up to that point they amassed a large following and wealth, there doctrine is to blame for much suffering and death. Abstaining from blood, Rwandan military cards and Nazi concentration deaths just to name a few. How do you come clean now? way to much liability, to much guilt and shame instead continue the sham and hope there might be some truth to "a end". I think they honestly believe in a God who will bring an end to this system regardless if their doctrine is right or wrong. They are banking on this.
"Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people" Their will always be a need for religion.
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Feeling Sad After Uncovering TTATT
by pale.emperor inmy initial pangs of unease and doubt led me to research some things.
well, a lot of things really.
i've never felt comfortable using the bible to try to calculate dates (1914).
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MarkofCane
Vidiot....add one more anger.
Once you realize being angry is only making you miserable you move on to a more productive state of mind. I choose to expose them for what they are and drop seeds of doubt when i'm around those still in. They're so many victims trapped in this cult, so any crumbs i can leave that will help them think thing out is paramount to a successful exit.
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How Long Does This Religion Have Left?
by pale.emperor inthe generation that will be no means pass away have passed away.. the 144,000 were sealed up in 1935, oh, no wait, we got that wrong, we still have some.. russel is the faithful and wise servant... oh, no he wasn't it was me, rutherford... no, actually, we got that wrong it's knorr... erm, no we mean the governing body.. shunning is pagan, true christians would never do that (1946)... oh, actually, we should do that too.. the revelation book has been re-written.. the un is the satan's visible organisation.. wtbs signs up for fellowship with the un in 1991.. exposed in the guardian newspaper so ends it's fellowship in 2001.. the greatest man book is now obsolete and replaced with another jesus book.. the mags are reduced in pages.. encouraged to use tablets instead of actual books to save paper (money).
halls being sold off.. congregations sharing halls.. society owned buildings being sold off.. video pertitioning for money only last year to fund a new building.. bethelites reduced.. missionaries sent back home.. young members leaving.. long time members discovering the history and leaving.. how long do you think this religion has left?
i cant see it being here in another 100 years.
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MarkofCane
But once the governing body members pass away what then? Sooner or later the "anointed" will all be dead. The Governing body HAS TO be made up of anointed brothers... or so the current understanding is.
Pale emperor said
The Governing body will proclaim that as they die they will rule from heaven, the anointed will be gathered all in heaven with Christ and the GB helpers left here on earth will take direction from them and will continue until Christ and 144K returns to conquer his enemy's. This will reset the clock, their's no end to their madness.The current understanding is revised as the situation deems it necessary. They have given themselves all authority and they've proven not to shy away from change.
"How long does this religion have left"? Remember as long as there are sheep, they will need to be fleeced.
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Feeling Sad After Uncovering TTATT
by pale.emperor inmy initial pangs of unease and doubt led me to research some things.
well, a lot of things really.
i've never felt comfortable using the bible to try to calculate dates (1914).
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MarkofCane
Greybeard....well said. Great wisdom.
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Feeling Sad After Uncovering TTATT
by pale.emperor inmy initial pangs of unease and doubt led me to research some things.
well, a lot of things really.
i've never felt comfortable using the bible to try to calculate dates (1914).
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MarkofCane
The truth holds no loyalty to beliefs, its either the truth or it's not. Doing mental gymnastics to make the JW version of truth possible was making me depressed, I was drinking on a daily basis and went on Paxil and Zoloft. On Sunday after meeting I would go out to eat with the family and get shit faced, during the week after meetings especially, my need for alcohol was intense. Once I allowed myself to scrutinize my beliefs and stopped the indoctrination my depression disappeared my need for alcohol is minimal almost nonexistent.....no more pills.
When I'm around those still in the bOrg i'm reminded of how miserable I was. My awaking has been tough, I've lost all my friends and shifting through family now. Some still communicate with us but very matter of fact our kids are ostracized by the kids in and around the congregations as well. These people are nuts, normal people don't act this way. So yes I was sad when I first discovered the ttatt, but after almost 4 years later I will attest...it was the best medicine for the soul and mind. I'm not a judgement ass anymore and I no longer live by end time fantasies. I'm a integral part of society now and this life and world I live in, is the "real life". My journey has opened new opportunities for me that I would of never considered when i was trapped in my mental prison, the truth does set you free.