Posts by MarkofCane

35

Memorial mixed emotions...

by Tornintwo in

jw
friends

does anyone else feel 'pulled back in' at this time of year?.

i still consider myself to a believer, believe in god and jesus christ, on the whole i think he taught tolerance, love, acceptance and i think we can benefit from following his example.

i love ray franzs book in search of christian freedom.

I don't believe any of it, haven't contributed any funds for almost 3 yrs, haven't done service for over 3 years. When I go to a meeting it makes me physically sick to my stomach. I'm no longer comfortable in my old congregation I get a lot of weird stares like I'm the elusive yeti. I avoid the folks from my congregation, I've literally DF them from my life, I only see family still in. So why go?

Well they hold me hostage due to my family. If I don't go, my family will definitely find out. The elders will place me in a shepherding status to see whats happening. It will elevate more hostility from my family still in. I will create a lot of unneeded attention, so it easier to go and pretend. I just go and pretend it has meaning, that I might return, that i'm not an apostate. If they only knew? If they only knew how I really feel, that I participate on a internet forum that exposes all there lies, that I condemn their faith as complete bullshit. If they only knew? Would they want me there? What a tangled web we weave, indeed.

27

Unbelievable! Is this even allowed? Two elders from my hall RANDOMLY stopped by my apartment!

by macys in

jw
friends

ok wow.

i am really really pissed.

i had to really hold back and bite my tongue.

MarkofCane

Its all just a fu@ked up game, the only real power they have is what you give them. I view them as misguided people, some times with good intentions, those I give some leeway. The one that are corporate men I don't tolerate in any shape or form. Be strong a lot of us are going through some very difficult stuff just in a different way we really do understand trust me we do. Be strong and know that you are not alone.

27

Unbelievable! Is this even allowed? Two elders from my hall RANDOMLY stopped by my apartment!

by macys in

jw
friends

ok wow.

i am really really pissed.

i had to really hold back and bite my tongue.

MarkofCane

Ya, Have to agree with the group, if you want to be reinstated then you must comply to there standards, once you are reinstated then you can avoid them and ask them to not show up uninvited. You can do it now but it will cast a questionable light on your sincerity of wanting to re join the flock. The memorial season is upon us and they are out in herds I see them everywhere, its kind of creepy that I was part of that frenzy and craziness. This is the crazies you are asking to return too so don't be shocked at there behavior just play there game, you just have to be smarter then them, trust me its not that hard.

109

The Complete Scammer's Guide - by "Pastor" Russell (New Light!)

by Focus in

jw
friends

most of us are reasonably familiar with reports of scandalous goings-on of that old jellyfish lecher, the founder of the watchtower cult, the one and only charles taze russell.. but, are these stories true?.

this thread is going to be devoted to his allegedly scurrilous activities.

so, bookmark it, please, bro' focus is in possession of noo light, and we're going to explore russell like you've never seen him explored before.. we're approaching his 100th death anniversary, and for all i know this virtual exhumation may lead to a real one.

MarkofCane

Marked

74

What song explains what you have gone through in life?

by brandnew in

jw
friends

this is mine....watch "coolio ft. l.v - gangsta's paradise (official music video)" on youtubehttps://youtu.be/cpgbzylnz7c

MarkofCane

That last one after Crown & Coke. I make it a rule not to drink and post but today is the exception.

74

What song explains what you have gone through in life?

by brandnew in

jw
friends

this is mine....watch "coolio ft. l.v - gangsta's paradise (official music video)" on youtubehttps://youtu.be/cpgbzylnz7c

MarkofCane

www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEV4Tov1GBM

Dio- The last in Line

74

What song explains what you have gone through in life?

by brandnew in

jw
friends

this is mine....watch "coolio ft. l.v - gangsta's paradise (official music video)" on youtubehttps://youtu.be/cpgbzylnz7c

MarkofCane

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jne9t8sHpUc

IRONIC- Alanis Morissette

38

Who can you trust to admit you have doubts?

by MrMonroe in

(that is, doubts).

in margaret atwood's "the handmaid's tale", a futuristic story of life inside a repressive, abusive big brother-style society tightly controlled by religious fundamentalists, there's a passage in which the protagonist is alone with another woman at a state-controlled centre where prayers are generated -- then printed out and read out -- by a machine.

the other woman asks, in barely more than a whisper, "do you think god listens to these machines?

MarkofCane

When it come's to doubts and questioning WT dogma I speak to no one, not even my wife...hardly just turn to an argument. I know the facts so there no reason to argue or debate. I come here and spout off to the forum members which i'm grateful for having. In my day to day activities I never mention GOD or religion, nor do I bring up politics. No point, always seams to leave a bad taste in my mouth when it over.

21

Why Me?

by Grey Goose in

jw
friends

it the question that i have found myself constantly asking myself the past few months.

out of all the jws i interact with, why did it have to be me that woke up from this mess?.

i am relieved that i have woken up to the bullshit, but a side of me misses that fuzzy feeling of being a 100% believer.

MarkofCane

I've wondered this myself. Why did I have to wake form my somber? I look at the folks still in and they seem to be on the same old routine going through this life with this mislead arrogance, this fantasy that there real life is yet to be lived. They appear to be in a sleep like state just walking through this life, like it is a rehearsal of some sort, like it has no meaning. Things that are important like family and relationships are pushed aside for a future utopia that is delusional. They wave off the now for a future. They are ok with writing off the one's that leave there delusion with this pretense they are living by some spirit directed mandate given to them by the Governing body. There whole existence is fantasy.

If I could take a pill that guaranteed, I would not remember a thing but would wake up tomorrow and would be where I once was, inside the organization. My family in unity, old friends in there respective places and firmly back within the congregation. Back out in service preaching a fantasy that I truly believed, living the dream of a future paradise. Would I take the pill? I would have to say no. I would not want to be living a lie. I would rather live the now with all its unknown then a fantasy with all there deluded answer. I would rather suffer with humanity and try to figure out the world we live in then close minded and mislead to appease some old men living in Brooklyn. I would rather be the real me.

12

Hello everybody!

by roberto avon in

jw
friends

hello everybody,i've been lurking for a while and since i really adore reading the biggest part of the posts, especially this italian ( american) guy about his experiences at bethel in the 70's, i feel a little bit guilty for not participating with my contribute.

i am really so sorry for the people that are suffering because of the wts.my story is a " happy ending " story, i married a jw almost 30 years ago and i am here to tell that we are still very happy.

she is very liberal and our 3 kids are " normal ".

MarkofCane

Welcome, Roberto you are among friends.