Why Me?

Grey Goose

It the question that i have found myself constantly asking myself the past few months. Out of all the JWs i interact with, why did it have to be me that woke up from this mess?

I am relieved that i have woken up to the bullshit, but a side of me misses that fuzzy feeling of being a 100% believer. I can't go a single conversation with a JW these days without them mentioning something "great" about the org, and it's tough faking a positive response. Although these days i tend try to move the conversation along quickly, or say something funny / sarcastic about the org.

Although, there is a side to me that is relived its me that woke up and not someone else, as there isn't a single person i know that could deal with it in a rational controlled way. Maybe that's why i woke up, I'm able to deal with things quite controlled and rational? I just don't know.

Sorry, this is more of a rambling thread, just getting stuff off my chest.

Wild_Thing

It will seem surreal for a while. It's like waking up from the Matrix. All I can say is "hang in there". I have also sometimes wished that I had never "woken up". Sometimes I wish I was still a part of it, a part of the "belonging", but it wasn't real. And it was always conditional. I am so much happier now, and the longer I am away, the more they seem ... kind of crazy.

Magnum

a side of me misses that fuzzy feeling of being a 100% believer

Me, too. I think back to old times when I had a hope and thought I was doing something really worthwhile - participating in the greatest work on earth. I loved going to district conventions and hated it when they were over because I didn't want to leave the atmosphere and go back to "the world".

However, I'm glad I woke up. As I observe JWs who are deluded, unreasonable, irrational. blind, ignorant, etc., I'm glad I'm not like that. As I learn more about the religion and the organization, I'm glad I got out.

stephanie61092

That's how I feel the majority of the time. Part of me misses the bliss of thinking I had all the answers. But overall, I'm happy to know TTATT because I can live a life of general freedom and not feel guilty for being disfellowshipped and then once I'm "back" I know I can live my life without the guilt of going in service enough or missing a meeting

ToesUp

The only "Why me" question I have is...."Why me...why did I have to be born into this?"

I am glad I woke up while I was fairly young. We have relatives pushing 70 that have not woken up but have serious doubts. They have serious doubts but still say..."it's still the truth." WTF? How the hell can you have doubts but still feel it is the truth? Maybe I am missing something here!

smiddy

Why me ? I thank my lucky stars it was me who did wake up , I sure ain`t thanking any GOD .

Having serious doubts but saying, ' still, it`s the truth' isn`t that what cognitive dissonance is ? in a nutshell ?

Then the other cop out is," Well even if it`s not the truth it sure is the best way to live "

Seriously ? Cult mind control at it`s best.

However I know what some of you are saying ," ignorance is bliss" but really do we want to be conned and manipulated by others for the rest of our lives ?

I don`t think so .

smiddy

kairos

The Matrix does come up.

"Why didn't I take the blue pill?"

NeverAllowestobeMyself

I totally understand this. The feeling of knowing and yet wishing you didn't comes and goes. I am so tired of playing along and yet the cost of leaving is just to high.

stuckinarut2

Interesting thread!

Would we rather be content but living a fantasy, or would we rather be grounded by facts?

I understand the feeling of being "the only true faith" and "knowing some facts about the future" and all of that....but the high control cult-like culture of the society is disturbing to say the least.

Yes it is unsettling to have ones whole life foundations come undone, but it is also liberating to no longer be held in FOG (fear, Obligation, Guilt)

Divergent

My feeling is: Why ONLY me? Why can't the other JW's who I know wake up also???

Why Me?

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