You can't take care of anybody else until you take care of yourself.
I'm in a situation much like yourself at the moment. My wife just came back from the district this weekend. I got up, made her breakfast, lunch, made sure she had everything she needed all three days and she came back home, in gung ho arrogant witness mode, mad at me and giving me the silent treatment all three days. House clean, great dinners ready, and she comes home slamming things all over the place and eating cold cereal. Like you, I'm getting tired of workiing so hard to make this work.
I've told her that I don't care about being right, so much as I care about being happy.....and going to meetings and sitting there listening to a barrage of talks doesn't make me happy.
I'm getting to a point where I'm feeling that I'll have to throw down another gauntlet.
I'm not one of those persons who feel that they have to stay together in a loveless toxic marriage because "jehovah hates a divorcing" and because it "looks good" in the congregation. I see to many JW couples living like that in marriages that should have ended years ago, but instead they are just trudging along while t heir health deteriorates under that toxic stress. I don't feel anyone should live like that.
I DON'T FEEL YOU SHOULD!!!! And I suspect that most on the board will agree.
Sometimes you have to think of yourself and let the chips fall where they may.
That's not arrogance, that's freedom.