Panda

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Posts by Panda

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  28

  Lurking Elders Watching the Board / more info about the newbie.

  by SnakesInTheTower in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  to answer alligator wisdom's request for more info on myself...it will have to come out in trickles.

  i am a prolific writer if i allow myself.

  for now, i will tell you that until recently i was an elder.

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  Panda

  Welcome Sankes. My husband was an elder and removed himself before THEY removed him. Very shoddy treatment, but heck that's typical.
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  63

  Need a name for a love bird.

  by purplesofa in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am terrible at names for animals.

  i had a dog once and named him pup.

  our female cats name is kitty.. i had a parrotlet once and never named it.. just said hey bird or birdie!.

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  Panda

  I had a peach faced love bird who I called PEACHES ... brilliant, right? I have a cat descended from a cat I brought home from China and I call him Chairman Meow ... I have a dog named Hoss Cartwright, he's a big fella'.

  I used to have a black Australian swan named Daisy and a male named Mr.Black (he really demanded respect or he'd bite your butt). I had a male sebastopal goose (they have really curly messy feathers) named Samson and his mate was (of course ) Delilah. I had a llama named JR (we live in Texas afterall). And ... I could go one forever, but one thing for sure, whatever you name your pretty pet make sure you like saying that name over and over again.
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  18

  Any Other Widows Here?

  by Panda in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so for me it's been 9 months since mr.panda died.

  people have said it would "get easier" "fade" etc.

  for me none of this has occurred.

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  Panda

  {{{Snoozy and Casper (fellow widows) and Happy Dad (widower)}}}

  Gosh it is so amazing to see someone else write my exact feelings. At first I couldn't take life one minute at a time and then at some point I began to think again (maybe after 2 months). Since the funeral I've been writing to Nick in a journal. At first everyday, eventually less often. And that has helped. I've been going to counseling. W/O being a believer I don't expect an afterlife, and really what could come after practically growing up together for so long. A whole lifetime just gone in a second. That feeling has to be experienced to really understand. Nick died suddenly of a heart attack. That exact moment sent me into the world of the impossible.

  We were both dubs. I dissassociated and he faded. At Nick's funeral his best buddy (who had also left the JWs) eulogised Nick and other friends got up and spoke about him. It's all a blurr to me.

  The pain is deep and the crying for a few months was agonising. Even now I will sometimes be sobbing before I even realise I'm crying at all.

  I have good friends who have stayed with me. That's made a huge difference.
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  75

  I'm going to be disfellowshipped on Wednesday

  by Thinking of Leaving in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  the elders cames to my home on saturday and i didn't answer the door, so they told my sister to relay the message.

  the message was "you know what it's about, we're going to make the announcement next meeting".

  i knew it was coming...but it feels so weird.

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  Panda

  I'm THINKING that you should be CONGRATULATED !!!! HIP HIP HOOORAY. I'm happy for you and a big yes as to a party of some kind; don't bother telling the co-worker (you'll get over the urge to tell her soon so just hold out).

  Take care and remember Living well is the best revenge.
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  33

  Why do people choose to d'assoc by letter instead of just fading?

  by journey-on in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i simply gradually quit going.

  of course, this was many years ago and maybe the "rules" have changed, but rather than create drama among my family, i just let them think i was becoming materialistic and spiritually weak.

  at least it kept them talking and associating with me rather than cutting me off.

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  Panda

  I DA'd but Mr.Panda faded after that, which was fine with me. What amazed me was that 5 other people left right after I did, so maybe DAing gives others the extra nerve they need. PLUS I really wanted to let at least a few people know exactly why I was leaving.

  Years ago, before Ray Franz left Brooklyn, you could DA and you weren't treated like a pariah.
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  31

  I never have done right by you...

  by Sparkplug in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in talking to my mom the other day (who is doing so well btw) she turned to me and said straight and as sane as can be, "i have never done right by you, don't do as i have done to you to you kids.

  " she got teary eyed and i changed the subject fast because i did not know how to take it nor could i talk with the big lump in my throat.

  i have known this my whole life, and i don't even speak it as plain as she has spoken it, but hearing out of her mouth as she sits in her wheelchair and knowing she means it from her heart and from pure love, well it messed me up a bit.

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  Panda

  How terrific that you have some closure to your JW upbringing. I had a similar reaction when my Dad said to me "Oh gee your brother Mark really gave you a bad time as a kid". I thought I would never be able to breathe after that gut punch... I always sort've knew my parents knew that my brother molested me but I never dreamed that they had known it so well and for so long. Never as a child was I protected from my predator sibling. So I totally understand your reaction of wanting to run.
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  18

  Any Other Widows Here?

  by Panda in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so for me it's been 9 months since mr.panda died.

  people have said it would "get easier" "fade" etc.

  for me none of this has occurred.

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  Panda

  So for me it's been 9 months since Mr.Panda died. People have said it would "get easier" "fade" etc. For me none of this has occurred. I don't even have to actively think about Nick I just get overwhelmed with missing him. Good grief we had been through so much together.

  I'm not asking how to deal with this, but I wonder how you other widows have been going through the grieving process?

  Care to share?
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  90

  Would U Be Offended If A Lesbian Couple Showed Affection in A Public Place

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in missouri at a ihop, a lesbian kissed another female (her gf) on the cheek, once while sitting in the restaurant.

  the manager went over to the ladies and told them they were not welcomed there and therefore had to leave.

  the women described the kiss on the cheek as a similar type of kiss to an "uncle".

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  Panda

  How did I miss this thread? Isn't kissing on the cheek accepted by everyone everywhere and done by everyone everywhere? The guys on the Sopranos always greet each other with a cheek kiss.
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  13

  Atheists For Jesus - Richard Dawkins

  by mavie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  http://richarddawkins.net/article,20,atheists-for-jesus,richard-dawkins.

  rather enjoyable, especially the picture of dawkins in the "atheists for jesus" t-shirt..

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  Panda

  Morals can exist independant of religion

  My point exactly, morals did (and do) exist w/o religion. If we are selfish for existence I think that we'll also be insatiable for knowledge of the planet (and universe) which supports life. Not in any metaphysical way, but through science.

  About the Jesus as nice guy theory. I don't think Dawkins actually condoned that idea. I mean while Jesus was certainly influenced by much older philosophies (ie., Buddhism- read the Sermon on the Mount). Maybe he was suggesting that humanitarianism sans mumbo jumbo is a worthy ideal?
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  117

  I'm Attending the Memorial

  by RichieRich in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my lovely girlfriend and i sat down over a homecooked meal, and discussed the pros and cons of attending the memorial.. i decided, with her support, that we would attend.. i spent years of my life pretending to be a witness to please my mother.

  when i left the witnesses, my mother said some hurtful things.. and those things really hurt me... for a while.

  but i established myself as my own person, developed my own relationships, and have gotten a good start on my own life.. i don't know that i want to hurt my mother back, but i do want to make it abundantly clear to her, my grandmother, and all the members of my former congregation, that richierich is alive and kicking.. and i think that walking into the kingdom hall, dressed respectfully in a suit, yet with full piercing jewelry intact, and with erika wearing something classy that steals the brother's eyes, and draws glares from the humble sisters, will be just the thing to send that message to my mother.. i don't plan on partaking or making a disturbance.

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  Panda

  RR, I'm a lot like you and I want to actually see and gauge what people think of my being alive. Like you just having 8 holes in my ears w/bling was enough to send me to the dark side in my old friends minds.

  My problem would be the absolute boredom. If you go you'll have to stay for the duration. If you manage that, if you drink lots of coffee beforehand, then enjoy.