Actually Struggle, I thought about what you said and remembered that I too was not too long ago saying the same words as you. Telling even a certain member here to try to go back to the meetings and to try to hang on.
I thought the concept was right and that it was just that individuals did not want to go along with what was necessary. But then I took a long hard look at the whole picture, the history right from the beginning.
I realized that the concept was never right to begin with. High ideals, sure, but the foundation of doctrine was nowhere near to being the sure thing I imagined it was. I realized that it wasn't so much that humans were imperfect and get things wrong, but that the attitudes that bound members to those wrong teachings and prevented them the freedom of conscience to seek God and follow his leadings; that was the real crime.
I looked at where things were headed, how the organization was in a state of crisis with no clear or even inspiring leadership or direction anymore. I realized I was being dragged down with a sinking ship, and no matter how much I wished it to be unsinkable, the dream was a just a myth.
I know its scary to look at the open sea of life. But one way or another that is where we all end up if the boat we are on is going down. Just be honest and strong, rely on your faith and you will be fine. Always live your life by the ideals of truth and never be afraid to change your way of thinking as you grow.
Keep learning and you will I'm sure find that peace and refreshment that Christ taught. Whatever you feel you have done, he doesn't hold that against you. Just carry on and feel good about yourself.
*** Rbi8 John 8:1-11 ***
8 But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2 At daybreak, however, he again presented himself at the temple, and all the people began coming to him, and he sat down and began to teach them. 3 Now the scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman caught at adultery, and, after standing her in their midst, 4 they said to him: “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of committing adultery. 5 In the Law Moses prescribed for us to stone such sort of women. What, really, do you say?” 6 Of course, they were saying this to put him to the test, in order to have something with which to accuse him. But Jesus bent down and began to write with his finger in the ground. 7 When they persisted in asking him, he straightened up and said to them: “Let the one of YOU that is sinless be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 And bending over again he kept on writing in the ground. 9 But those who heard this began going out, one by one, starting with the older men, and he was left alone, and the woman that was in their midst. 10 Straightening up, Jesus said to her: “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?” 11 She said: “No one, sir.” Jesus said: “Neither do I condemn you. Go your way; from now on practice sin no more.”
Path