I must say those are questions I've been asking myself for a long time. If you believe in a God it gives you a strange sense of abandonment sometimes but then there are other times when he feels strangely close. I feel being in a religion can give you a sense of belonging, a higher power to tell you what to do and what to believe, maybe in the same way as a child with a parent. Only trouble is a child grows up and moves away, makes his own way in life. Who wants to be stuck as a child? The way I think of it myself, I can't shake off the feeling that there is a God. He does exist to me. Have I got evidence... no. But then neither is there evidence that he doesn't exist. I don't believe he is involved in man's affairs the way religion says he is. We have free will and free choices, Many don't like it when that free will and free choice is taken away by religion.
It's good to keep asking questions... even if we don't like the answers. Sometimes there are no answers.