When I was first introduced to the "truth", I was so distracted by the love and affection that the members were showing me that I was ready to convert into the religion without thinking twice. I was conviced that JWs were God's people (I still think some of them are). I made it my goal to get baptized as I wanted to be part of the "only" religion that produce such good people. I was ready to drink the kool-aid, but then I left... Eventually I returned only to find out that it was just a facade. The members for the most part no longer feel the need to do the whole love bombing thing they normally do with potential new "recruits". Now that their love has faded, I get to see the organization real colours. Each meething/social gathering I attend gives me the opportunity to reinforce my observations.
One thing I have noticed for quite a while now is the atmosphere of competition in the KH . It is particularly palpable among the sisters. Now some people will argue that is in women nature to be competitive. I agree with you to a certain extent. As an ex ballet dancer, I've experienced feminine rivalry, but never as ferrous and "unhealthy" as in the KH. I don't even think the sisters realize how malicious and hostile and they are towards each other . It is easy for me to see it because I'm being treated like an outsider.
I get weird looks because of my micheal kors boots and watch. (Those are the early gifts that I received from my godfather. I didn't buy them). I also own a collection of High heels and purses which I like to match with different outfits. Next thing you know, sister x will send me subliminal messages through her comments stating that wearing brands is a form of immodesty. Ok... One time I overheard two sisters bashing another sister (who wasn't around of course) because her husband has bought a very expensive mattress. Basically they were accusing the couple of being superficial for not using their resource for the worldwide work. Don't ask me how did these two women get such an information.
The sisters will ignore you while keeping an close eye on you (how ironic). One time I had a sister, who has been ignoring me for months now, literally following me as I was walking through the hall, going from a group of people to another, greeting everybody. she would interropt me, greet the person I was talking to, look at me right in the eyes, and then leave. I think she just wanted to make sure that I knew she was ignoring me. But then again, if i'm unimportant in her eyes, why even bother? A Sister will criticize another sister who wear beautiful clothes and makeup. It feels like high school. What's up with this?