Sorry that you went through such a bad time, Lois. I never got over my first love. But she was older than me and was already engaged when we had our summer of love...Oh well., I found someone better than her and hope you did as well.
I applied three separate times to Beth Hell.... I was sort of disappointed that I was not accepted. I figured that there was "Something Wrong" with me and was therefore not "Good Enough" to serve at the holy of holies. Now that I know how things are and who I am as a person I am very glad that I never went there. All the guys I ever met that had served there all beat up their wives and had big fat egos on them. I feel blessed.