About 6 months ago I really did stop allowing my daughter to visit. This was when she suggested I "drop her off at the front gate and stand at the bottom of the road while I get her" then repeat the charade when I collect her later that day. That was the final straw. I told her I didn't want my daughter to form a bond with someone who might totally disown her in the future if she ever doesn't want to be a JW. My mum was hysterical. Claimed it was Satan using me as a tool.
A few weeks after that I relented because I wanted my daughter to know her cousins who are the same age. And they're always at my mums place.
Thanks for the replies and messages guys. It means a lot. I was coming home from work today and think about all this and suddenly it hit me... since leaving I've made a few friends and I have no idea what their religious beliefs are. They all became friends with me because they like me and we have things in common. And likewise I'm friends with them, not because they share a religion with me, but because of their personal qualities. These "worldly" friends have been better and more genuine friends to me than any JW ever has. Simply because they have no hidden agenda. And if we disagree on something that's ok, we're still friends.
Im afraid I can only take so much. I must move forward and live for me.
8 months DF'd. Loving a life of freedom. However, my family are all shunning me. Yeah, that's to be expected. At first i was going to shun them back and stop my 2yo daughter from visiting them etc. But then i also thought that would make me as bad as the witnesses, and probably just give them more ammo to say how cruel i must be to do that to them.
I send pictures of my little girl to my mum on Whatsap just so she can see what she's missing. Every now and then i send a message saying how i hope they're all ok and "love you lots!" all upbeat etc. I noticed though that the last few pics i've sent have been delivered but not read. I thought nothing of it thinking maybe she hasnt been on whatsap for a while.
Anyway, my brother who is studying calls me every now and then. He calls me in secret because he's been warned by the elders that im mentally diseased and "the truth is not in him". But he calls anyway because he's lonely. He tries to reason with me on "the truth" and i counter his arguments with "the truth about the truth" and he's become aware of the flip, flop doctrine but excuses it. He let slip on the phone yesterday that my mum has blocked my number because im being cruel by taunting her with pictures of my daughter, and trying to use it as a handle to make her disobey Jehovah and talk to me. She's also telling non JW's that im dead. She gets a lot of sympathy from them about it. The JW's in her congregation know she means "spiritually dead" and, again, give her a lot of sympathy. Her elders told her that im "causing the family suffering, a clear sign how leaving Jehovah breaks up families". She's also destroyed all photo's of me (including baby photos).
This is beyond what i ever imagined as far as shunning goes. It's upsetting but also makes me more determined to wash my hands of them all. Why should i spare a thought and share love with them when they do this?
i recently saw leah remini's series on scientology thanks to my husband (semi-active jw) and i felt like my eyes were being opened for the 1st time in my adult life.
i felt shaken almost sick to my stomach with each episode i watched.
I myself am 8 months out (disfellowshipped for apostacy (apostacy meaning using pre 1980s WT literature to reason with the elders in my Judicial Committee)). Now that your eyes are open you can enjoy your life without fear. Keep digging, you wont believe how deep the rabbit hole goes!!
i know this has been discussed over the years on this forum, but i just had to post this again!.
it seems that the popular fad amongst the "spiritual" ones in the local circuits is to home school their children instead of sending them to school.. now to clarify, we are in a very nice area of semi rural australia .
one with very community minded, and strong family values.
I've dated 2 JW girls in the past that were home schooled. They both looked down on "worldly" people more than most JW's did. They also were very defensive about the fact they were homeschooled and always tried to prove to me they were clever even though i never asked them.
My sister is planning to take her 3 kids out of school right now. Her reasoning is "because armageddon is just around the corner and they'll never leave school anyway" - now, where did i hear that before? Oh, yeah, when we were in school 25 YEARS AGO!
anybody have any ideas where they are going with the "new light" they have been pushing last week and this week?
for instance in this weeks study article one section reads:.
in years gone by, we believed that jehovah became displeased with his people because they did not have a zealous share in the preaching work during world war i. we concluded that for this reason, jehovah allowed babylon the great to take them captive for a short time.
In years gone by, we believed that Jehovah became
displeased with his people because they did not have a zealous share in
the preaching work during World War I. We concluded that for this
reason, Jehovah allowed Babylon the Great to take them captive for a
short time. However, faithful brothers and sisters who served God during
the 1914-1918 period later made it clear that as a whole the Lord’s
people did everything they could to keep the preaching work going.
I didn't know this was a teaching when i was "in".
Also, it's an insult to those conscientious objectors that were shot, in Britain at least, during WWI for not joining the war.
a bit of an update, last weekend was my great grandmothers funeral, now, she was never a jw, and never was going to be, no matter how hard my mother, and grandmother tried to preach to her, she was the type of person that would kindly accept a wt or a book, but she wouldn't bother reading them.. anyways, she was a great wonderful and inspiring woman, the funeral was extremely sad, she had been a school teacher for over 35 years and a member of various clubs, so there were a lot of folks besides family that attended.. well, anyways i was there and so was my jw mother, stepfather, and grandmother, we were cordial, didn't talk about anything jw related because, it was great grandmothers funeral, not really a time to discuss how i am an evil sinner, or how i've escaped the org by avoiding df'ing, right?
wrong, as i'm sitting waiting for the service to begin, a lady shows up, now- i have known this woman for a long time, apparently she baby sat me as a small child, (like i remember?
) so she isn't someone i was ever close with, but knew of her or when she was around would say hi to and make small talk.. to give you a tid-bit on her personality though, she is one of those crazy jw's.. she claims to have been possessed by a demon, very very wacky on the prophesies, or gb talks, etc.
Im from Liverpool, England. 2nd generation born in. My family had nothing to do with non JW family since converting so i have cousins and relatives somewhere out there that i have no idea who/where they are.
I dont know about you, but for some reason if i were to go around worshiping some deity i should have done better and looked outside the bible. I mean, there's some pretty cool goddesses out there in other religions. Here's my top 3:
(of corse, i dont worship and deity, but just for fun)
Kali Ma: Hindu Goddess of Time, Death and Destruction. She's slayed a myriad of demons and drank the blood of a demon warrior by lopping off his head head and drinking his blood. She's so cool that when she and her husband Lord Shiva make love they destroy and create worlds! What a gal!
Freyja: Norse Goddess of love, sex, beauty, war and death. Freyja rules over her heavenly afterlife field Fólkvangr and there receives half of those that die in battle, whereas the other half go to the god Odin's hall, Valhalla... also has an affinity for cats.
Tiamat: Ancient Babylonian Goddess of saltwater (?) but also mother to the Gods and gave birth to the world. She was killed by the other gods and Marduk, newly crowned king of the Babylonian pantheon, split her corpse
in two to create the dome of the sky and the waters of the earth.
i had no doubts at all about the 'truth' untill a friend of mine in the cong' began falling away.
in trying to help him i had to ask questions and do research and that of course cracked the doors of my mind open for the first time in over thirty years.. years ago, when jwd allowed members to have signatures, i used the following quote from voltaire as mine.
i still love it.. doubt is uncomfortable, certainty is ridiculous..
My daughter being born. For 5 seconds there was no sound from her tiny body. Then suddenly a cry. I sighed in relief that she was breathing and therefore alive. In those 5 seconds i'd have done anything to make her live and keep living. That's when it hit me, i'd gladly allow her to have a blood transfusion if that's what it took. What would it cost me? Losing out on eternal life? Fine. I'd gladly lose out on living forever to have just one day with my little girl.
From then on i started noticing things. 80% of my congregation not being happy but going along to the meetings because it's less trouble for you if you do. Why am i getting up early every weekend to go out on the ministry when i dont really want to? Surely Jehovah wouldn't accept that sacrifice. Then being told not to learn ancient Hebrew or Greek and not to research outside the WT. Then read Crises Of Conscience so how could i go back after all that evidence?
