Posts by Heartsafire

30

Do you think JWN members would be surprised if they got to know you in real life?

by nicolaou in

jw
friends

i don't think you'd recognise me much at all.

i'm a royal mail postman, i love my job for the early starts and midday finish, the outdoors and the exercise.. i get on with people but i'm quite insular and don't enjoy crowds.

i'm happiest when i've fired up the charcoal and i'm making souvlaki or adana kebabs for my family and a few close friends.

Heartsafire

Souvlaki?! Yum! I really enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing.

To answer your question, I honestly have no idea if people would be surprised once they got to know me.

Here's a tidbit about me: Like you, I detest large crowds and avoid them whenever possible. I also love books have collected them since I was a child. I still have my first books from which I learned to read. I'm rather introverted and shy, but I love people and I'm often more generous than I should be (or so I've been told). My home is modest but comfy, and I'm obsessed with decorating. I am also obsessed with saving money so I live a conflicted life with my passions at odds. When it comes to food, I will eat anything, although I prefer spicy-hot or savory flavors. I do love a grilled chicken souvlaki with a buttery slathering. I've only discovered this dish at a restaurant and thought I had died and gone to...well...never mind. But, it was tasty.

Its fun, this sharing about ourselves thing. Wish I could say more, but I'm sorry to say I'm rather a boring person. Haha!

106

Walking a thin line - Resigning Elder

by Sanchy in

jw
friends

warning of a long boring post ahead.

i feel like i need to vent my story out, as i feel quite helpless at the moment.. i'm 31 year old, married, father of toddler with another one on the way, due later this month.

i've been serving as elder for about 4 years now in a south florida congregation.

Heartsafire

Welcome and congratulations on your wake up! I really feel for you. I am a fader, and I started my fade this year (I mean this past year). My husband is still totally in. I would have to say our darkest days were when I was first waking up and recklessly confronting him with my doubts. Since then it seems he has come to terms with my fade, and although he doesn't agree with me, we are at peace.

I agree with the folks who posted on here and said not to rush things. My advice would be to be happy, and work on making your marriage as happy as possible. I know it sounds challenging, and it is, but it is so worth it to finally be living an authentic life.

Whenever you need to vent, feel free to come here and post. We are here for you.

HAF

28

I need some advise

by Lost his mind in

following is a letter i am going to send to the entire family both jw and non.

i would like to get your advice on whether i should do it.

my husband has told me before to voice my complaints but i have yet.

Heartsafire

Glad to hear you and your hubby are on the same page. If you ever need to vent in the future, we are here for you:-)

57

Any ExJw Millenials here? If not which Gen do you fall under?

by Hidethevelociraptors in

jw
friends

if anyone had to guess, what do you think the average age of the community actually is?.

are more millennials actually waking up or is it pretty even amongst previous generations as well?

.

Heartsafire

I think I'm a gen Y if that even exists

28

I need some advise

by Lost his mind in

following is a letter i am going to send to the entire family both jw and non.

i would like to get your advice on whether i should do it.

my husband has told me before to voice my complaints but i have yet.

Heartsafire

You go girl! I think you should send the letter. But, I agree with Dissonant15. Leave the asking for a divorce twice out of it. You are asking for space to heal the marriage, and by saying you have asked for a divorce it sounds as though you have given up.

You are "one flesh" with your husband, and if they are bossing him about behind your back then they are disrespecting both of you. I cannot see any reason why the eldubs would bother you about it, and they may even reluctantly agree with you. Just in case, keep a copy of your letter for your own personal records.

In the past I have had to send letters to JW family while still "in". These people have no concept of boundaries at all. Set some.

19

Identity Theft

by Jerryh in

jw
friends

this forum offers the stories of folks with as many variations as there are folks and a “great crowd” of lurkers whose stories may never be offered.

i am an outsider with a broken heart for some insiders that i love more than they know.

after reading nearly every “apostate” book ever written, lurking, being worn out searching the wt cd, i have come to an idea that i present for your appraisal..

Heartsafire

One problem with the org is that it is extremely controlling and promotes fear instead of real love as its agenda. It is true that some can ignore the "bad" teachings of the org while excepting the "good", but what happens when that individual must then make the choice between obeying the org's commands to abstain from blood or letting their child accept a life saving blood transfusion? If they disobey and choose to blood, they face disfellowshipping and shunning by their friends, family, and congregation. Or, perhaps, the JW is given a promotion at work that would interfere with their attendance at an assembly or convention. The org expects them to attend the convention at all costs. There are many other scenarios that play out here where JW's aren't just guided by scripture but rather controlled by a corporation. Even disagreeing with WT interpretation is a no-no within the group, and it leads to expulsion and shunning. Those who are choosing to stay "in" may seem happy, but they are completely living in denial.

24

General health after learning TTATT

by Darkknight757 in

4 months ago i was conducting the watchtower study along with a long list of responsibilities that come with being an elder in a very goofy congregation.

during this time my health was going down hill.

i've always had a low blood pressure,(102/65 or abouts) but for the past year it had creeped up to 135/90 range.. so 2 months ago after learning ttatt, i'm still considered an elder because the brothers won't let me step down, but i haven't done anything in that time except comment once at a meeting a few weeks ago.

Heartsafire

Well, since I've been missing meetings I haven't been as nauseated!

But seriously, yes, every elder/super-active jdub I know has either very bad health problems (mental and/or physical) or is on medication.

I can honestly say I cannot recall ever meeting a super healthy, happy Jdub elder.

3

CULTS: Inside Scientology & Escaping Jehovah's Witnesses

by Finkelstein in

here is an interesting documentary about people being exploited and manipulated by cults, one which we all know about.. note the coercive tactics that these separate cults use to lure people into them and to eventually control these individuals once they are there .

.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ug1mf4kvkwq.

Heartsafire

Fink,

Thanks for this. Good stuff.

54

"Even if it isn't the truth, it's still the best way to live"

by Simon in

have you heard that old chestnut?

i have.. typically it's the last resort when you have dismantled a jws beliefs and they have no way of defending them.

they know they are beat so they come out with that one.. its effectively an admission that you are right and they have no argument but they are still going to attend meetings because they like the social club.. what a lame way to defend your faith..

Heartsafire

I have very close "worldly" friends that go above and beyond morality compared to many JWs I know. They are very honest, do not cheat on their spouses, volunteer and reach out in the community, encourage others to do good, etc. From what I've learned, the standards practiced in life are unique to each individual whether a JW or not.

53

Finally posting and I'm FRUSTRATED!!!

by stephanie61092 in

okay, i'm about to engage in a major word vomit.

just giving you fair warning as your time may be better spent somewhere else.. so, i'm sitting on my lunch break, bawling my eyes out, and writing on this forum to people i don't know yet probably have a great deal in common with but at the same time, used to scare the daylights out of me.

for years, i would come across this forum and 'lurk' awhile if you will, or see things on youtube.

Heartsafire

Steph,

Two thumbs way up for your heartfelt rant. You are among friends here. I am still baptized and have been inactive for several months now. I envy that you are completely out and you know the truth about the truth (ttatt).

You have big decisions in life headed your way--to go back to the org and live a lie for your family or live authentically according to your own moral compass and face losing them. Unfortunately, I am having to live a lie for my family right now, and it tears me up inside. One of our members (freemindfade) used a really good metaphor today that the JW's are the ones in "prison" and we are the ones walking out into freedom. It is not your fault they choose to stay in this horrible cult.

From what I can see, you're smart, you're strong, you're witty, and you damn sure deserve much better than this right now!

HAF