Wow.... I just found your letter and now I have to go back and re-read all the posts. I am about to change to a different congregation and will decline "privileges" even though I will no doubt receive a glowing letter of recommendation from the elder body in my old congregation. Many people (including my wife and parents) are upset with me for wanting to do this. I have told them all that I'm burned out and want to take a break, which is true! But I also cannot be on the platform teaching things that I no longer feel are the "TRUTH". I was baptized at 13. What did I know then? What kind of experience in life did I have that would enable me to make such a life or death decision?
Anyway, your post really impacted me and applied to my situation. My whole life/family is built around this organization so I'm not going to become a flag-waving apostate, but I can longer be responsible for what happens to anybody else but myself.