Also, remember not to put faith in every word. Not on this site or any other. Be cautious and Shrewd, do not let your Emotions overcome your reason.
jojojunfan
JoinedPosts by jojojunfan
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206
i am a regular pioneer in my cong reading crisis of conscience.here goes...
by MsGrowingGirl20 ini'm on page 90 right now...the info is definitely new and gives me a totally diff view as to how i used to think of faithful and discreet slave.
i was thoroughly disgusted with the way the brothers handled the oral sex and leadership problem and the insight on the scriptures book...... still have alot of questions though.
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206
i am a regular pioneer in my cong reading crisis of conscience.here goes...
by MsGrowingGirl20 ini'm on page 90 right now...the info is definitely new and gives me a totally diff view as to how i used to think of faithful and discreet slave.
i was thoroughly disgusted with the way the brothers handled the oral sex and leadership problem and the insight on the scriptures book...... still have alot of questions though.
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jojojunfan
Hi.
You took a huge step just posting your feelings here. I had strong feelings for years about things not adding up, but who can you talk to? I just recently Finished COC and have been reading In search of Christian Freedom. I know it is mind blowing, Liberating and scary at the same time, just like many others have told you. If you look at my first post, which was just this week, I was very upset. I already feel so much better. And I bet you do as well, even though you are not sure exactly what you are doing yet. Make sure to check out Jwstruggle. I know you are not an Apostate, you love your creator and Christ Jesus or you would not be concerned over wrongs done in thier names. You are free to PM me as well. Our circumstances may be different, but the decicions we are going to have to make are the same. I know that you love people in your congregation as well, and you are afraid for them. Is there a secret war going on within the Organization, good vs evil, I dont know... but whatever the case may be Obey GOD as ruler rather than men... no man is infallible, and if they pretend to be so watch out. The apostle Paul said that we only have partial knowledge, but we have Christ Jesus example and our Power of Reason to help us see the truth. Remember that a little child can be taught the truth, there is no reason of endless changes and backtracking. This is only done when something is wrong, especially when past wrongs are not even admitted and apologies are never given. There should be no secrets kept between brothers and sisters, no secret books, no secret meetings. I also suggest reading Sheperding the Flock of God, the secret ELDERS manual. Stay strong and Pray. You are not alone.
Your brother
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CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE
by jojojunfan ini need to speak to anyone who is a mature christian.
someone who has maintained their faith in jehovah and in christ jesus.
i have felt that many things i have been taught are inconsistent for some time.
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jojojunfan
You have made some good points. I Just spent some time with an Elders family last night and they are great people. I could not help but wonder what they would do if I voiced some of my feelings. He is new to the congregation and realizes that there are other Elders enforcing rules, but he is only 1 Elder out of 6. He went to college and has seen much of the real world, so he is more reasonable than most in his thinking. If it came down to Doctrine, I dont know....
I think that I have to be shrewd and lay low and educate myself and hold my tongue. Then again, I could take it to them so to speak. Honestly, wether or not I have an appointed position in the congregation is of no importance at this point. If I did my homework and wrote a letter to the Elders in a respectful manner, wouldnt their reaction give me alot of insight into thier hearts? Or is the fact that " rules " are made enough info already? I love to think that if presented with facts people will change, but we all know that is not always the case.
I think what bothers me the most is all the secrets, secret books, secret meetings, the thing that no rank and file ever knew were being discussed. Also, I have never seen 1 article saying, " We were wrong and we are sorry.". Or , " The guys before us were wrong and even though we didnt make those decicions we are apologizing for them, and it wont happen again on our watch.". How about re-instating people that were Df'd for no good reason? I have alot to think about. It sounds like many of you have been where i am standing. Thanks for the support.
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39
CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE
by jojojunfan ini need to speak to anyone who is a mature christian.
someone who has maintained their faith in jehovah and in christ jesus.
i have felt that many things i have been taught are inconsistent for some time.
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jojojunfan
Thanks everyone, since posting here and visiting jwstruggle I already feel better. I have a CO visit coming up soon. I need to decide if this is " the hill I want to die on " or if I am just going enter stealth mode. I really feel like our 2 new elders can have a chance to correct things before I get involved. But with all that I am learning, I dont know if I would even accept an appointment. Is it delusional to think that I am going to get things to change that no one before has been able to change? I do agree that for the time being, I should just do what I always do: 1) Love the lowly ones in my congregation 2) do my best 3) be a real friend, and the most important, Obey GOD as ruler, rather than men.
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Star Trek - the Borg
by finally awake init just occurred to me that we use the term "borg" when talking about the organization.
it's a cute play on words, but i wonder if the writers of star trek who came up with the idea of the borg had some experience or connection with witnesses.
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jojojunfan
So is it possible do a " Picard " and bust it up from the inside? Do you think others are attempting just that as we speak? Or is it Futile? Maybe " Q " will clean the slate for us. Yes... i am a huge nerd....
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39
CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE
by jojojunfan ini need to speak to anyone who is a mature christian.
someone who has maintained their faith in jehovah and in christ jesus.
i have felt that many things i have been taught are inconsistent for some time.
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jojojunfan
Ok, the 10hr rule.... We had a meeting about a year ago to encourage Brothers to reach out. It was, to put it mildly, one of the worst " encouraging talks that i have heard. The 7 to 8hrs that you mentioned were also a topic for discussion. Evidently the Elders meeting discussed the national average. So any brothers in our congregation who are below the national average cannot 1( run microphones 2) run the sound system . Those are definate restrictions, as far as reading the Watchtower, and public prayer, those are for the Brothers who have the national average. To be a Ministerial Servant, you must be " exemplary " so you must have OVER the national average to be considered. At this meeting everyone was given their publisher cards to look at while being told to continue to reach out. No one was encouraged, only my being numb to this situation stopped me from losing it at that moment. I had decided that I had hit the glass ceiling too many times, and was determined just to do my best. In truth, I was hurt also, just not as much as others. Also for some time before this meeting I had been meditating alot about how things were being done. Also you are totally correct when you say that there is absolutely NO hourly requirement for appointment in the Scriptures. In fact the phrase " 10 hours " itself appears only 3 times in the 2010 Watchtower Library as pertaining to field service.
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39
CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE
by jojojunfan ini need to speak to anyone who is a mature christian.
someone who has maintained their faith in jehovah and in christ jesus.
i have felt that many things i have been taught are inconsistent for some time.
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jojojunfan
Thank you, everyone. I feel better already. I have felt like i have been on " crazy pills " for so long. For awhile i have had an extremely strong feeling that there is war going on within the " organization ". Something is going on.... I am glad that I have chosen to read the BIBLE daily, and I can definately see marked differences in the " flavor " of articles in The Watchtower. Also, I just dont feel the " generation " issue is accurate at all. Of course, I am only free to speak here.
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39
CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE
by jojojunfan ini need to speak to anyone who is a mature christian.
someone who has maintained their faith in jehovah and in christ jesus.
i have felt that many things i have been taught are inconsistent for some time.
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jojojunfan
My reason for having wanted to be Appointed is this: I love people, and I want to encourage my Brothers and Sisters to do their personal best, as I know they are. Thats it. I have no desire for authority or position, and I find people that are position minded extremely difficult to deal with and to be around.
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39
CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE
by jojojunfan ini need to speak to anyone who is a mature christian.
someone who has maintained their faith in jehovah and in christ jesus.
i have felt that many things i have been taught are inconsistent for some time.
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jojojunfan
I hope I am doing this correctly. First of all, Thank you so much for responding, all of you. I am sure it will take me some time to properly navigate this site as I am not very tech-savvy. The " issue" is the never ending cycle of guilt when every six months the C.O comes around and I feel horrible about myself. I know I should not because serving GOD is not a competition. I just re-live many unpleasant memories, and feel guilty for not being good enough. Right or Wrong that is how I feel. There are many other families hurt by this 10 hr rule. By the way this " guideline was announced at a Meeting to encourage Brothers to reach out. If you love GOD and you do your best, doesnt that make you exemplary? I feel silly for feeling depressed about this, I honestly though that i had quit caring about this whole issue. I think my indignation stems from the fact that it is unscriptural and that it is truly hurting others that I care about. I know that I fall short of GODS requirements at times, but does an hourly quota of preaching really determine a persons spirituality? I dont believe that it does. I am thinking of declining any appointment offered to me, " IF " it happens, that is how strongly I feel about this matter. I am just praying that I will have a thorough knowledge of the subject if I am summoned to a Elders meeting. I am also soooo tired of all the SECRETS!!! Secret meetings, secret books ect.. By the way, the C. O visit in in March. Thanks for listening.
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39
CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE
by jojojunfan ini need to speak to anyone who is a mature christian.
someone who has maintained their faith in jehovah and in christ jesus.
i have felt that many things i have been taught are inconsistent for some time.
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jojojunfan
Can someone please help me. I need to speak to anyone who is a mature Christian. Someone who has maintained their Faith in Jehovah and in Christ Jesus. I have felt that many things I have been taught are inconsistent for some time. At 37 years of age I have been finally making efforts to really read Gods word. In fact, the only thing I read is Gods word. I am not a Ministerial Servant and I have been told by a new Elder in my congregation that I must put in 10 hrs every month for a year ( not average time ) before being considered. He does not feel this is scriptural, time will tell if any changes are made. I am not on this site because I am a proud, arrogant person. The MS thing was just a catalyst for me since there are people that I truly care about that are being hurt by this unscriptural " guideline ". I love my creator and am in tears at this writing. I feel that I am simply using my God given power of reason, and this is what has allowed me for some time to see many inconsistencies. I am by no means without personal faults, many stemming from my childhood, so please do not view this writing as complaining about not being appointed. The truth is that this issue has caused so much anxiety for me that I have often reverted back to behaviors that have kept me from being appointed and I have often contemplated suicide but have not diclosed this to anyone. This issue is also an underlying issue in causing stress between my wife and I. She does not understand why time after time I am not used as a Servant, although I am told that I am a valuable member in the congregation, and I am used to help out extensively.
I have also felt for some time that I am of the Annointed. I do not pretend to have all the answers regarding who will be on the earth after the War of the Great Day of God the Almighty. I do feel strongly that ONLY JEHOVAH and JESUS have the right to judge anyone. I dont think I ever believed half of what I heard, and I am beginning to feel grateful that I did " keep up " with the SOCIETIES publications. I am at an impass, afraid to speak to YOU, afraid to speak to my wife, my mother, my friends, my sister, my disfellowshipped brother and my Father who has recently been studying. I would just like to hear from someone who loves Jehovah and Jesus and know what i am experiencing. I am currently reading " In Search of Christian Freedom ". I wish I had someone like Brother Franz to talk to.
Your Brother