although both are important parts of human existence, they are not mutually inclusive.
is it more important to you to feel "love" for others or to know you're "loved" by others?
i think the answer to that question sometimes dictates our actions as human beings..
I wasn't raised with "love" - in fact I think I first began to "love" so that I would feel loved in return.
Now the return part just doesn't seem as important anymore. For me, to truly "love" someone else means that I don't expect anything in return - even love.
Or I'm just confusing myself.
although both are important parts of human existence, they are not mutually inclusive.
is it more important to you to feel "love" for others or to know you're "loved" by others?
i think the answer to that question sometimes dictates our actions as human beings..
Any time I've "known" that I was loved by others I eventually learned that I was delusional.
(Walter)
It's more important for me to feel love for others because I know it is real.
That is EXACTLY how I feel about it!!!! In fact, I was just talking to a friend the other day about this, which is why the thread. I seemed to be the stepping stone for a few ex-jws (not on the boards - so no one here), a way for them to enter the *world* and have someone to call *friend* until something better came along. Although I felt love for these individuals, it obviously wasn't reciprocated, at least long term. In fact in a couple of cases, it brought me some pain at how quickly I was dropped like a hot potato when bigger & better groups came along. And, I've lost a couple of friends (not exclusively applicable to ex-JW's either) because I did what I considered the *right* thing by our friendship, not necessarily the easy thing. It's amazing how quickly other's love can *cool* when they don't have a consumate "yes man" or back patter.
And the funny thing is, that although I ocassionally have felt some pain from no longer being important to those individuals, I'm okay with it. I know that my feelings were true, they were real. They still are.
With my JW family - it's more important to me to know that I love them - not that they love me. They can shun all they want - that's their problem.
so, for me - it's more important that I keep MY humanity, my ability to love others, than it is to be loved I guess. Although being loved is REALLY REALLY nice.
sonnets from the portuguese.
xlii.
' my future will not copy fair my past'--.
I only had to read it 10x to figure it out - very nice! *pats self on back*
Wow Hillbilly - DAMN fine and has a soft spot for Elizabeth Browning poetry *swoons*. I hope your lucky lady friend realizes what a catch she has in you!
although both are important parts of human existence, they are not mutually inclusive.
is it more important to you to feel "love" for others or to know you're "loved" by others?
i think the answer to that question sometimes dictates our actions as human beings..
Although both are important parts of human existence, they are not mutually inclusive. Is it more important to you to feel "love" for others or to know you're "loved" BY others? I think the answer to that question sometimes dictates our actions as human beings.
there was a commercial on tv tonight during a football game... .
a couple with their backs to the camera were sitting on a beach facing a crystal blue sea.
soft, tropical breezes blew, seabirds called to one another, gentle waves crashed onto a pristine golden shore.
I think there's a difference between noticing a good looking person (of either gender) and the *jaw drop to floor/stare up & down for 5 minutes then continuously looking around to see if you can catch a glimpse of said beautiful person again.
The former wouldn't bother me, the latter might.
And no, I don't think it's an indication of the quality of the relationship as much as it of the quality of the individuals in said relationship.
last night, my hubby & i were discussing the upcoming meet-up being held here.
my husband's never been a jw (or involved w/religion for that matter).
and to be perfectly honest, although he's put up w/my online activities, and occasional f2f gatherings, he's never been 100% completely comfortable with it.
Last night, my hubby & I were discussing the upcoming meet-up being held here. My husband's never been a JW (or involved w/religion for that matter). And to be perfectly honest, although he's put up w/my online activities, and occasional f2f gatherings, he's never been 100% completely comfortable with it. I understand his reservations - you hear all the time how it causes marital break-ups, affairs, yucky stuff. He trusts me - but like he says, doesn't *know* any of the people that I communicate w/on here (although he has liked the one's he's met).
During our discussion he says "You were just raised in a congregational way, you need that sense of community to make you feel like you're a part of something."
That actually made me think. I've been out for 20 years now. My hubby & I have many friends, but they are "dissected" (our friends aren't *friends* with each other). I'm involved in a couple of different charity organizations, but again, dissected. I do advocacy work for parents w/special needs - but again, no large "group".
3 years ago, I found these boards, and it filled some hole I didn't even know existed at the time. Last night, I realized what it was - the feeling of being a part of a larger community. It's "Ex" JW's -true, but "JW's" nonetheless. And I realized last night as well, my role here in this *community* is exactly as it was in the JW's prior to my leaving, sort of on the outer fringes, always looking in & *watching*. Just like in the JW's - I've been *hurt* by members of this community - in ways I never had been upon my leaving. I've been lied about, shunned by those I thought were *friends*, used & then discarded. I've also met some cherished individuals, who made all the negative events worthwhile.
Psychologists say we humans tend to recreate past experiences that didn't *work* for us in relationships, etc., to try to make the outcome different. And today I'm wondering if somewhere deep down that's what I'm doing, and if that's why I'm still here, and whether it would be better for me to just finally comes to terms with my past, bury it and move on. Not that there aren't many of you I'm taking & keeping with me. Or maybe I'll always need a "larger community" to feel whole.
Is it just me?
name is actually gator.
i am not nor was i ever a jw.
i know several who were, and do understand some of the issues and such behind that religious "sect".
(((Gator))) Good to see ya here.
Hands him rolled cigar & what were you drinking?
just thought i'd share.
in case anyone else out there has three sisters that are braindead bitches too...i know how you feel.
i havent talked to two of the three braindead bitches for a couple of years (ever since that goddamn article came out in the km) but one of the braindead bitches lives about 10 mins from me.
(((Flower))) Siblings can suck sometimes.
rolling stone magazine released its top 500 songs of all time.
i probably would have named "satisfaction" number one, but that's quibbling.
what do you think should be included in the top 10 and isn't?
and Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen? What's the world coming to?
rolling stone magazine released its top 500 songs of all time.
i probably would have named "satisfaction" number one, but that's quibbling.
what do you think should be included in the top 10 and isn't?
Stairway to Heaven wasn't in the top 10?
