Posts by mentalclarity

15

Lack of open-mindedness

by ilikecheese in

jw
friends

a lot of religious folks can have an open-minded discussion about their beliefs without getting defensive.

some can actually consider things from another point of view and point out the validity in the other person's point.

obviously, a lot of jws may just be scared to think/speak in a semi-detrimental way about their religion.

A lot of religious folks can have an open-minded discussion about their beliefs without getting defensive. Some can actually consider things from another point of view and point out the validity in the other person's point.

I agree. Let's not overgeneralize all religions and people.

I can't speak for other religions because I don't have that experience from the inside, but I do know how JWs think. The reason JWs cannot do this imo is because their self-righteousness does not allow any openness to being wrong. Their whole self-identity would crumble if they thought that. Remember that the org breeds perfectionism - always trying to attain it (that is the ultimate goal, right? perfect life) Approval from God and others hinges on this very core belief. So it makes complete sense that you would never even toy with the idea of being wrong - there is way too much at stake. And there is the black and white thinking. Either you are with us or you stand against us. Anyone who thinks differently is standing against them and must be convinced or condemned silently.

20

My 1 Year Update - I've Been Disfellowshipped One Year Today

by pale.emperor in

what a journey!.

it was a year ago today that i was announced from the platform by brother paul "twofaced" castley that i was "no longer one of jehovah's witnesses".

i didn't go to that meeting to hear the announcement because i already didn't believe the watchtower religion.. how was my first year?

mentalclarity

Looks like you hit the ground running! I know the feeling- so much to catch up on!

Congrats- your post just reminds me how great life is once you start doing what you really want and not just going through the motions out of obligations.

Hope next year is even better!

55

Why do ones that got out come back in?

by moreconfusedthanever in

i have not been to a meeting for about 2 years now.

i do not intend to go back but one thing has me baffled.

why do ones that have faded and been out for years return?

mentalclarity

1)They held onto the belief it was true or it doesn't matter because they feel comfortable in the environment.

2)They lack a social network to replace family/friends. I left and instantly got involved with the "wrong" crowd which seemed to prove that all worldly people were evil. Had I found a nice/healthy circle of people I probably would not have returned.

47

Are JWs "mind trained" to be habitual liars?

by nonjwspouse in

i don't mean overly obvious, or otherwise meaning to cause harm, but taught to lie for the purpose of avoidance.

this type of lying can be pervasive in areas of life that are not just to avoid discussions with people who have questions about the jw, etc.

my husband will lie/be deceitful about the silliest, simple things.

mentalclarity

I think as a born-in you get used to "spinning" the truth so that it fits your idea of reality. For example, people saying how they are really trying to live a simple, non-materialistic life as if it was their "option" when in reality they can't find better jobs because of lack of education and are barely making ends meet. I agree with everyone, that they believe their own lies so they don't see it as being dishonest.

Another example: Xmas is so commercial (something alot of people complain about) so I'm so progressive about not celebrating- you get used to "normalizing" crazy ideas. I think someone else mentioned always justifying crazy behavior. I think born-ins are adept at making things look good/sound less crazy then they actually are.

I'm sure deep down we all knew we weren't fooling anyone.

120

What history have you seen in the makeing???

by karter in

jw
friends

i saw:.

neil armstrong say those famous words...this is one small step for a man........... muhammad ali win and loose the world title 3 times.. the 1st women prime minster of the uk..

mentalclarity

I saw a man on reality tv with no political experience win the presidency of the U.S.

28

Another JW Urban Legend Thread

by Funchback in

threads about jw urban legends are nothing new on this forum.

they are loads of fun to read.

how many of you remember the one about the teenager who skipped the meeting and decided to get into a car with his worldly friends and they worldly guys decided to rob a store and the jw didn't know they were going to do so but he was arrested simply for being with them?.

mentalclarity

I was at a meeting once where the visiting speaker told a story about a rock falling on a bus full of people (in a mountainous region in the country) and of course the JW's survived but the others died. I mentioned it later to my family and they kind of shook their heads and said they shouldn't be telling those types of stories from the platform. But it wasn't uncommon to hear how tragedy struck everyone except the JWs type stories - there were just a bunch of versions of the same message - really loving message....geez

24

How does one cope with the sudden and unexpected loss of a parent?

by My Name is of No Consequence in

my dad died of a blood clot as a result of surgery late last year.

to say that his death created a bottomless void in our family is an understatement.

i think about him every day, sometimes constantly.

mentalclarity

I'm very sorry for your loss.

After a couple years of suffering a loss I found a book that helped me a lot. I don't know if it's for everyone, but it helped me get some perspective - https://www.amazon.com/Awakening-Grief-Finding-Way-Back/dp/1930722184 There are some really good suggestions for coping with grief.

Grief support groups are good too- or just any space where you feel comfortable crying/ranting or anything you need to do to process all the emotions. People just sitting with me while I feel everything has helped me too.

I also have accepted you don't ever "get over it". You just kind of absorb the sadness and it lives inside of you with the other gamut of emotions. It just doesn't always override them - if that makes sense.

45

She's here and early! 27 weeks 1day.

by Darkknight757 in

so as of july 2nd my wife delivered by c-section our little one pound, three ounce daughter izabella.

it was a very scary night that started with a decel and turned into multiple decels that greatly concerned the doctors.

by early morning they felt the need to take her for her safety.

mentalclarity

Congrats on becoming parents! Life will never be the same!

Hope all goes well.

53

The saddest song of all time?

by Bad_Wolf in

i would pick this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th2w6oxx0kq.

i don't know how so many are happy or fine if thinking this life is it.

haven't lost parents yet, but when with them, sometimes i'll think of this song.

mentalclarity

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MUA9hoDa40

33

My parents found out

by BlackWolf in

jw
friends

so in my last post i talked about how i had told my younger siblings how i didn't plan to get baptized or ever be a witness.

i thought i could trust them but i guess i was wrong, they're just kids after all.

my oldest brother (who's 11) told on me today.

mentalclarity

jp1692 is absolutely right - this is your decision and your the only one that knows all the variables so weigh everything out and decide what your move is "right now".

I experienced a similar situation when I was 17. I was baptized and I got in trouble and had a JC. At the first meeting I told them I didn't want to go to meetings anymore. I wasn't interested in being a JW. They asked me how I thought that made my parents feel. I said "I would figure they would be happy as long as I am happy".....haha! Obviously that was the "wrong" answer. There was some sobbing that ensued from my parent.

They gave me some time to think about it and we would discuss this at the next JC. For a week or two (can't remember) I didn't go to the meeting. It was VERY hard because of the emotional blackmail. Next JC meeting I told them I was sorry and I had changed my mind (I hadn't). The thing is this..I realized that I didn't have the funds/the emotional strength/and the network I needed to do what I need to do at that exact moment. Soon I would graduate from high school and some new opportunities would arise. Just because you decide to "play nice" now does not mean you don't have moral integrity and no one should judge you for that. It means, that you might recognize that now is not the right moment. In life, timing is everything. Plan your escape plan well.

Again, this was my experience only- only you can decide what is going to be in your best interest. I'm really sorry you have to go through this, but you're not alone and alot of us have been through similar situations. PM me anytime you want.