Posts by mentalclarity

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Why Do People Become JWs?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i was born in the religion but why on earth do people join this religion?

?.

I think people who become witnesses are looking for something outside mainstream religions that provides them with answers. JWs seem to do that superficially. There is also the lure of being part of a group and there are alot of nice JWs out there. At first glance, it seems like a nice bunch - it's not until you've been in a while that you start seeing all the major flaws.

New converts are usually vulnerable also in some way- in alot of cases I can think of- people have been ignored or feel isolated and here comes a group of JWs paying alot of attention to them and being super nice. Of course that's going to make an impression. And people might start feeling this false sense of "I know something that others do not" like you've discovered something that everyone else couldn't decipher, but here you are diligently studying the Bible and you're surrounded by a group of people who feel the exact same way. That's powerful stuff. You're all in this together- you suddenly have a purpose (preach!) and you know exactly what's going to happen in the future. Sadly, the euphoria doesn't last long....

15

Lack of open-mindedness

by ilikecheese in

jw
friends

a lot of religious folks can have an open-minded discussion about their beliefs without getting defensive.

some can actually consider things from another point of view and point out the validity in the other person's point.

obviously, a lot of jws may just be scared to think/speak in a semi-detrimental way about their religion.

mentalclarity

A lot of religious folks can have an open-minded discussion about their beliefs without getting defensive. Some can actually consider things from another point of view and point out the validity in the other person's point.

I agree. Let's not overgeneralize all religions and people.

I can't speak for other religions because I don't have that experience from the inside, but I do know how JWs think. The reason JWs cannot do this imo is because their self-righteousness does not allow any openness to being wrong. Their whole self-identity would crumble if they thought that. Remember that the org breeds perfectionism - always trying to attain it (that is the ultimate goal, right? perfect life) Approval from God and others hinges on this very core belief. So it makes complete sense that you would never even toy with the idea of being wrong - there is way too much at stake. And there is the black and white thinking. Either you are with us or you stand against us. Anyone who thinks differently is standing against them and must be convinced or condemned silently.

20

My 1 Year Update - I've Been Disfellowshipped One Year Today

by pale.emperor in

what a journey!.

it was a year ago today that i was announced from the platform by brother paul "twofaced" castley that i was "no longer one of jehovah's witnesses".

i didn't go to that meeting to hear the announcement because i already didn't believe the watchtower religion.. how was my first year?

mentalclarity

Looks like you hit the ground running! I know the feeling- so much to catch up on!

Congrats- your post just reminds me how great life is once you start doing what you really want and not just going through the motions out of obligations.

Hope next year is even better!

55

Why do ones that got out come back in?

by moreconfusedthanever in

i have not been to a meeting for about 2 years now.

i do not intend to go back but one thing has me baffled.

why do ones that have faded and been out for years return?

mentalclarity

1)They held onto the belief it was true or it doesn't matter because they feel comfortable in the environment.

2)They lack a social network to replace family/friends. I left and instantly got involved with the "wrong" crowd which seemed to prove that all worldly people were evil. Had I found a nice/healthy circle of people I probably would not have returned.

47

Are JWs "mind trained" to be habitual liars?

by nonjwspouse in

i don't mean overly obvious, or otherwise meaning to cause harm, but taught to lie for the purpose of avoidance.

this type of lying can be pervasive in areas of life that are not just to avoid discussions with people who have questions about the jw, etc.

my husband will lie/be deceitful about the silliest, simple things.

mentalclarity

I think as a born-in you get used to "spinning" the truth so that it fits your idea of reality. For example, people saying how they are really trying to live a simple, non-materialistic life as if it was their "option" when in reality they can't find better jobs because of lack of education and are barely making ends meet. I agree with everyone, that they believe their own lies so they don't see it as being dishonest.

Another example: Xmas is so commercial (something alot of people complain about) so I'm so progressive about not celebrating- you get used to "normalizing" crazy ideas. I think someone else mentioned always justifying crazy behavior. I think born-ins are adept at making things look good/sound less crazy then they actually are.

I'm sure deep down we all knew we weren't fooling anyone.

120

What history have you seen in the makeing???

by karter in

jw
friends

i saw:.

neil armstrong say those famous words...this is one small step for a man........... muhammad ali win and loose the world title 3 times.. the 1st women prime minster of the uk..

mentalclarity

I saw a man on reality tv with no political experience win the presidency of the U.S.

28

Another JW Urban Legend Thread

by Funchback in

threads about jw urban legends are nothing new on this forum.

they are loads of fun to read.

how many of you remember the one about the teenager who skipped the meeting and decided to get into a car with his worldly friends and they worldly guys decided to rob a store and the jw didn't know they were going to do so but he was arrested simply for being with them?.

mentalclarity

I was at a meeting once where the visiting speaker told a story about a rock falling on a bus full of people (in a mountainous region in the country) and of course the JW's survived but the others died. I mentioned it later to my family and they kind of shook their heads and said they shouldn't be telling those types of stories from the platform. But it wasn't uncommon to hear how tragedy struck everyone except the JWs type stories - there were just a bunch of versions of the same message - really loving message....geez

24

How does one cope with the sudden and unexpected loss of a parent?

by My Name is of No Consequence in

my dad died of a blood clot as a result of surgery late last year.

to say that his death created a bottomless void in our family is an understatement.

i think about him every day, sometimes constantly.

mentalclarity

I'm very sorry for your loss.

After a couple years of suffering a loss I found a book that helped me a lot. I don't know if it's for everyone, but it helped me get some perspective - https://www.amazon.com/Awakening-Grief-Finding-Way-Back/dp/1930722184 There are some really good suggestions for coping with grief.

Grief support groups are good too- or just any space where you feel comfortable crying/ranting or anything you need to do to process all the emotions. People just sitting with me while I feel everything has helped me too.

I also have accepted you don't ever "get over it". You just kind of absorb the sadness and it lives inside of you with the other gamut of emotions. It just doesn't always override them - if that makes sense.

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