so the guy in my office on the desk next to me has just got back from the funeral of his wifes sister.
this was his first time in a kh and full on exposure to jwdom.. bit of background: the deceased jw was not a born in, she was a convert when she was in her teens.
she died last week at the age of 82. the poor old dear was still zealously knocking on doors while in ill health.
@Finkelstein I remember a witness telling me she was counseled by some from her hall because she was crying at a family member's funeral. They said it showed to others(non-JW) that she didn't have faith in the resurrection.
What a complete disrespect to the person who died - to use someone's death as an "opportunity" to witness. Is nothing sacred to these people?
i know that some are upset because of the time lost because of ever having been a witness.
have you moved on as an ex jw or are you stil devastated because of your past jw lige?.
I think alot of this depends on how old you were when you left and the severity of your experiences. I was fortunate enough to leave young to go back to school and start a career. I also was able to save my kids from being indoctrinated. My experience was pretty tame in comparison to many on here -
I did need a huge learning curve when I left to get some life skills I didn't posses as a born-in. The choices I make now about my life are very intentional - that includes being responsible for becoming aware of how my JW upbringing might have skewed my thinking. Being a JW took time away from me and I am not willing to let it take any more of my time. As soon as I got out I hit the road running and I am now reaping the rewards. My life is far from ruined.
just spent 8 hours in a 1 day elders school last weekend.
clarification given: "moving forward any elder, ms, or pioneer who themselves or someone under their roof enrolls in higher education, may no longer qualify for privileges in the congregation.
their qualifications will have to be reviewed by their boe.".
@Fisherman -"That would not be highly viewed by the congregation and it is not what a JW who has faith should do".
Actually they are used as elders, give talks at conventions, are on the liaison committee - so I have to disagree with your statement. In Latin America JWs (who can afford it) have been sending their kids to Universities for years because of the economical situation and how competitive the job market is. These are elder's kids who have all their privileges.
Be open to the fact that attitudes might differ depending on where you live and your community.
i occasionaly get a magazine left on the porch of my house.
this time it was an awake.
is the world out of control?.
There's this great book by Anabelle Mooney called "The rhetoric of religious cults : terms of use and abuse" She analyzes a pamphlet by JWs (can't remember which one now). It is extremely interesting- she points out all the manipulative language used. Once I read her analysis, I could never read JW stuff the same again. The assumptions and generalizations made without specifying sources..."scientists agree bla bla bla" What scientists? "Logically we can conclude..." when it's not a logical conclusion at all! She goes on to state the whole guise of offering "bible studies" when in actuality you're offering a way to conversion. She looks at several cults- not just JWs. The way the literature is written and presented is very carefully planned- there is no question about that.
just spent 8 hours in a 1 day elders school last weekend.
clarification given: "moving forward any elder, ms, or pioneer who themselves or someone under their roof enrolls in higher education, may no longer qualify for privileges in the congregation.
their qualifications will have to be reviewed by their boe.".
I know elders in the US whose kids have gone to college and gotten 4 year degrees. In fact most the younger millennial JWs I know have some sort of degree (whether technical or 4 year) The idea (for these JWs) is that a higher level of education will allow them to work less and earn more while devoting time to preaching,etc. JWs are ever so practical. If the goal of the education is to be able to serve the organization more fully, I don't think it is frowned upon.
Obviously they aren't encouraging kids to move into dorms away from their community and study philosophy. But nowadays studying after high school is pretty much a given because it's very hard to get a job that can support a family without a degree. This wasn't the case a couple of decades ago when JWs vehemently opposed higher education. None of the people I know lost privileges. Maybe this is some isolated congregation with an overzealous elder, but the higher education ban screwed the Jws growing up in the eighties and nineties mostly.
hopefully more are on the same path.
here is the story..... this person i know was the model jw, and them and their spouse could have really moved up.
they knew i was gone and awhile ago started asking me questions.
When I was a JW I had no clue who the actual people in the Governing Body was. Now that we see the "man behind the curtain" in all its glory I can't help but think I would have left a lot sooner. I just would have expected so much more from them - maybe like a monk a lo Dalai Lama. Instead we get this???? Worst strategic mistake JWs did- the more attention and exposure these men get, the more JWs will leave. It really leaves me scratching my head as to how people are still JWs knowing that the men they look to for spiritual guidance are this insane.
there’s a lot.
i think one strange view is how only 144000 go to heaven.
since the number is mentioned in the symbolic book of revelation, you would expect that the number would be viewed as figurative, but jws say otherwise.
Everything in the Revelation and Daniel/Isaiah books. We studied those bible books verse by verse with an interpretation from the historical period and a modern day application......total bullshit - the 144,000 was just the tip of the iceberg.
The way demons were blamed for everything....lost your job/spouse/will to live? you kids must be watching pokemon/harry potter/smurfs or reading horoscopes or my other favorite - "secret sin" in the kingdom hall. Out of some 100+ attendees the odds that someone was not involved in some sort of "secret sin" was pretty slim- yet if congregations flourished the logical conclusion was that there was no secret sin and if a congregation was doing poorly (low meeting attendance/service hours/no new publishers) it MUST be due to secret sin (aka lack of holy spirit).
And of course the shunning policy just adds to the Jim Jones effect....
my excuse is that i was born in the religion.
but if someone wasn’t, why would they become one?.
I'm a born-in but I know for my mom the big thing was the hope of the resurrection. From what I've observed of some of my family's studies, the community is a huge pull. Especially among newly immigrated in the USA. It's not uncommon for immigrants to become church goers and religiously inclined, even if in their country of origin they weren't too religious, because they feel isolated and lonely. It's like an instant network and since JW are so close knit and help you get jobs/housing/services/etc it has a huge appeal.
this is my first post on here so i apologize that it is like an essay!.
my husband and i are currently 'fading out' of the truth.
we stopped preaching in may 2016 and limited meeting attendance in january 2017 and stopped completely in june 2017. my main reason for this was my whole life i have been doing things to please others, even getting baptized to please my mum.
Welcome! There is some great stuff here for you to consider.
Personally and from what I know of other ex JWS it is very difficult to fade while still living in your same area/territory. Elders will be relentless and push you into a corner. You always have to be looking over your shoulder in case "friends" see you doing something non-jw.
I made the decision to move and I never regretted it. Some family talks to me/others don't. But I live my life exactly the way I want to and give no explanations/lies to anyone.
The issue about defining your current JW status is because you're in an area where people identify you as a JW - this is going to come to bite you in the ass. Especially since you are a family with kids...what's going to happen when your little one celebrates holidays at school and some JW's kid is there too? That info is going straight to the elders and you'll get a visit. It's incredibly rare that you get left alone. Not trying to discourage you, but blatantly doing non-jw stuff in your area (in the elder's eyes) is forcing them to take action against you. One thing I've come to understand about JW behavior...they are just following their rules. You can have the most heartfelt person who is blindly following this religion and they won't think twice about ratting you out and possibly changing your life and your relationships with your family/friends forever. In fact, they'll think they are doing you and their congregation a favor. This is the moment you are really going to see what this religion is all about. Right. Now.
We who have decided to fade all weighed our options and decided what's best for us with a "plan". Strategy is key.
