Posts by mentalclarity

24

How does one cope with the sudden and unexpected loss of a parent?

by My Name is of No Consequence in

my dad died of a blood clot as a result of surgery late last year.

to say that his death created a bottomless void in our family is an understatement.

i think about him every day, sometimes constantly.

mentalclarity

I'm very sorry for your loss.

After a couple years of suffering a loss I found a book that helped me a lot. I don't know if it's for everyone, but it helped me get some perspective - https://www.amazon.com/Awakening-Grief-Finding-Way-Back/dp/1930722184 There are some really good suggestions for coping with grief.

Grief support groups are good too- or just any space where you feel comfortable crying/ranting or anything you need to do to process all the emotions. People just sitting with me while I feel everything has helped me too.

I also have accepted you don't ever "get over it". You just kind of absorb the sadness and it lives inside of you with the other gamut of emotions. It just doesn't always override them - if that makes sense.

45

She's here and early! 27 weeks 1day.

by Darkknight757 in

so as of july 2nd my wife delivered by c-section our little one pound, three ounce daughter izabella.

it was a very scary night that started with a decel and turned into multiple decels that greatly concerned the doctors.

by early morning they felt the need to take her for her safety.

mentalclarity

Congrats on becoming parents! Life will never be the same!

Hope all goes well.

53

The saddest song of all time?

by Bad_Wolf in

i would pick this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th2w6oxx0kq.

i don't know how so many are happy or fine if thinking this life is it.

haven't lost parents yet, but when with them, sometimes i'll think of this song.

mentalclarity

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MUA9hoDa40

33

My parents found out

by BlackWolf in

jw
friends

so in my last post i talked about how i had told my younger siblings how i didn't plan to get baptized or ever be a witness.

i thought i could trust them but i guess i was wrong, they're just kids after all.

my oldest brother (who's 11) told on me today.

mentalclarity

jp1692 is absolutely right - this is your decision and your the only one that knows all the variables so weigh everything out and decide what your move is "right now".

I experienced a similar situation when I was 17. I was baptized and I got in trouble and had a JC. At the first meeting I told them I didn't want to go to meetings anymore. I wasn't interested in being a JW. They asked me how I thought that made my parents feel. I said "I would figure they would be happy as long as I am happy".....haha! Obviously that was the "wrong" answer. There was some sobbing that ensued from my parent.

They gave me some time to think about it and we would discuss this at the next JC. For a week or two (can't remember) I didn't go to the meeting. It was VERY hard because of the emotional blackmail. Next JC meeting I told them I was sorry and I had changed my mind (I hadn't). The thing is this..I realized that I didn't have the funds/the emotional strength/and the network I needed to do what I need to do at that exact moment. Soon I would graduate from high school and some new opportunities would arise. Just because you decide to "play nice" now does not mean you don't have moral integrity and no one should judge you for that. It means, that you might recognize that now is not the right moment. In life, timing is everything. Plan your escape plan well.

Again, this was my experience only- only you can decide what is going to be in your best interest. I'm really sorry you have to go through this, but you're not alone and alot of us have been through similar situations. PM me anytime you want.

28

Report from Japan

by wifibandit in

jw
friends

anon in japan says:.

i served in the third circuit of shikoku japan.

a few years ago, a well-known theocratic family disassociated.

mentalclarity

@slimboyfat right- the immigrant population in Germany is very different from that of the US. That was an over-generalization on my part.

I think JWs are honing in on immigrants in the US from underdeveloped countries and countries such as South America and Africa hence the pressure to learn languages to expand your territory. Even with access to internet, it wouldn't make a difference in the growth because it's not about the info. It's about the desperate situation they find themselves in and people seeming like they care and their need to belong to a community that accepts them ( we know this doesn't last). That's been my observation. If there is any growth from the outside it would appear it's coming from there.

28

Report from Japan

by wifibandit in

jw
friends

anon in japan says:.

i served in the third circuit of shikoku japan.

a few years ago, a well-known theocratic family disassociated.

mentalclarity

Personally, I don't think it's an internet issue.

I think any growth is coming from immigrants in developed countries wanting a place to belong and little education and underdeveloped countries (such as Latin America) with a large population of uneducated. It's all about the critical thinking skills. I'd assume this is why the Org has dumbed down the info/literature - I think they have to for the people they are attracting. The new ones aren't hard core bible students- they are the downtrodden looking for a "paradise" to end all their troubles and sadly it seems that there will be a never ending supply of new victims.

23

Can halluciengins reveal what has been hidden from us and bring more answers?

by Bad_Wolf in

halluciengins, and several recent studies pointed out how we us only certain sections of our brain depending what is happening.

but some of them, like acid, make your entire brain turn on.

heightened senses.

mentalclarity

I don't know about revealing "hidden stuff" but I read this article on Ecstasy being used to treat PTSD:

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/29/us/ptsd-mdma-ecstasy.html

45

What did NOT get you out?

by problemaddict 2 in

i realize this is odd, but a "how you woke up" thread and the personal stories that are told which i know we all enjoy, made me think of this.

in helping my wife and a couple others get the ball rolling, i realized the thing that resonated with me, didn't even move the needle with them.

i wanted to rail on and on about blood, because that was my conduit to waking up, but for my wife it was about shunning.

mentalclarity

It wasn't the UN/child sexual abuse/607 timeline/generation issues.

It wasn't the botched up committee meetings/love-less elders.

It was realizing that there was nothing "special" about JWs. All of my life I had been told that we were in this blessed organization that was so different and unique from all other religious organizations. Everyone outside of it was supposed to be struggling and unhappy and we had the "truth". Then I looked around at other religions and people and saw that it was a lie. There wasn't anything "special" about JWs. Alot of people were loving and helpful to others- alot of religions did humanitarian things that actually helped people now and the last straw was at meetings and seeing how psychologically damaging it would be to teach my children this. "We must be humble", "just endure until paradise", "don't invest in this system of things". So it was a combination of all these things- JW's are not perfect/other religions and people are "good"/it would be psychologically detrimental for my kids that did it for me.

The doctrines were just fluff.....(I'm a born-in so that makes a big difference- they always sounded bizarre, especially when they would try to apply specific scriptures to modern day events-like the early bible students being arrested and the "work" ceasing for a couple of years...I mean, c'mon-it's just weird. One verse has a modern day application and then we're back to it applying to early Christians and it's pretty arbitrary and benefits the JW history? Yeah, I never bought that.

34

Physically In, Mentally Out

by James Jack in

7 years ago i was this "ultra spiritual elder".

you name it, i was visible all over the region.

i was the coordinator, on the convention committee, rbc, had a talk at every convention and assembly, regular pioneer, etc.

mentalclarity

Welcome James Jack! There are a lot of comments on this thread full of wisdom.

Give yourself some time and space (without anything religious) and just be for a while. I know it sounds kind of hokey but honestly, after making every decision in my life based on what God wanted, it was necessary for me to just kind of sit with myself for a while without thinking about what the bible said, what jws said, what the secular world said. It was too overwhelming. I just couldn't figure it all out at once and I think it's tempting to to replace all those rules/bible knowledge/jw knowledge with something. You can little by little create a new belief system that reflects the unique individual that you are whatever that may be. Some on this forum are atheists/some are religious/some are spiritual. Get comfortable with not having all the answers. None of us have "all" the answers. I think that's the biggest psychological hurdle when leaving- there is this void that you feel you have to fill where there were all the answers and that is just not reality- the truth is their is no truth, at least in imo.

I guess what I'm saying is get comfortable with a certain level of uncertainty. That's really helped me.

23

The great tribulation is now coming VERY soon!

by The Searcher in

watchtower october 2017, par 11, page 28 - "very soon the political powers of satan’s world will form a coalition that is bent on the destruction of god’s people.

's] have anything to fear?

not at all!........at that critical moment during the great tribulation, the angelic soldiers of jehovah of armies will come together to protect god’s people..."[j.w.'s].

mentalclarity

Thanks for posting this.

@Doubtfully Yours- oh yes, the "Peace and Security" craze..good times, good times...

I knew when I read about the ban in Russia it was going to be used to prove the Great Tribulation. There's always something happening that makes the end just around the corner....