So many questions. I feel sorry for your struggle indi7, but... holy crap!! And I really thought I'd heard it all ...stumbled upon this full-blown-kundalini-awakening story on the net. You can't make this shit up:
Then it happened!
A bolt of lightning
Out of nowhere a megalithic wave of energy surged from the base of my spine up through the central core of my body and out through the crown of my head. A bolt of energetic 'lightning' sent my entire body into a huge convulsion (somewhat like you'd imagine if someone had died and been brought back to life with a paramedic defibrillator machine!). From lying in a relaxed position, my entire body tensed into the height of rigidity as I was thrown upwards and then immediately collapsing into a heap on the floor. It was as if every cell of my being had been fiercely squeezed out.
Clearly once was not enough - this happened seven times in rapid succession. Each time I'd experience a bolt of lightning from the base through to and beyond the crown accompanied with an involuntary convulsion, throughout my entire physical body. The last vestiges of the 'me' that I thought I was were being shattered, whilst my entire being was infused with universal life energy.
My world was shattered
It was totally exhausting! This event didn't come with a text book explanation so initially I felt major disorientation. It's not every day that you have seven 'lightning bolts' shoot through your body after all! It's not the type of thing that you learn about in high school. Before to the experience, I had no concept in my brain about kundalini energy. At the time, all I knew was that it was exceptionally powerful and a defining moment in the journey of my spiritual evolution.
My whole frame of relating to the world had been shattered again (it had happened once before in previous years during my Awakening, although the universe had deemed that I was not at that time ready for a full blown kundalini activation). My body felt peculiar. I struggled to understand that it had anything to do with 'me', unsure how I was able to move my limbs. When I did, I observed with astonished fascination as if it were the first time I'd been infused into a physical body! Gazing into the mirror in the bathroom was really puzzling. I didn't recognise my own image! In fact "Who are you?" was about the only sentence I could muster for a while.
Soul infusion
Over the next few weeks I encountered constant experiences of soul infusion and spiritual intensity. The journey took me through a myriad of different practicalities providing an first hand education into the intricacies of kundalini awareness.
On one day I would experience the left side of my body become infused with darkness, whilst the right side would be infused of the purest light. As I learned to embrace it all, the lessons came thick and fast. Without judgement, I would rise through each spiritual encounter as non-identified pure presence, turning each page of the cosmic library with lightning purpose.
On another day I would experience intertwining columns of light rise up my spine as the universe dissolved from around me. There would be intense surges of electrifying energy that served to show me any internal blockages within my bodily vehicles (of which I learned that we have quite a few).